I know it's only a spider but...

[OfCourseItsMe]

It's getting to a point where I dread going to bed. I'm heading up soon and I'll have to search all around my room to see if it's clear. Then I'll lie in bed and check again every few minutes until I fall asleep.

I've had enough of it now.

Do you need help with phobias or anxieties?

Is it a spider ghost?

A real spider?

Or just the fear of spiders in general?

I hate this time of year too, i refuse to go to the bathroom with the light on ‘just in case’ so brush my teeth and pee in the dark from now ish for about 6 weeks. Crazy though that sounds to anyone who’s not frightened!

Well I'm generally very anxious.

We've had a few big ones so far this year and with all the hype about the rat sized ones, it's made me even more anxious.

Think it would help if I knew how to deal with them to get rid of them. I've thought about a spider catcher but not sure of the best one.

I do the same.

Also, if I wake in the night, I refuse to look at the walls.

Rat-sized spiders?? Eek

I thought I was the only one who did this 😂 I have the bathroom light on during the day and evening but it I wake up in the night to use the toilet I keep the lights off. Also when I get into bed even if I’m going to be up for a couple of hours using my phone I’ll turn the lights off.

I saw a huge one a few weeks ago. I live alone and was really shaken up. It just ran across my kitchen /living room and somehow I gathered up the courage to kill it with insect spray because I knew I’d sleep easier if I did, but I was shaking and left feeling very unsettled for several days.

I saw two last year September one morning come out from under the couch. I’m trying to hoover more and look out for any spiderwebs and although the house needs fresh air I’m too afraid to open the windows for too long.

OP I would really recommend joining the UK Spider Identification Group on Facebook. Since I first joined (as a lifetime arachnophobe) I can now tolerate spiders, and have even held some small/medium-sized ones!! Their enthusiasm about spiders and trying to identify them has helped me to overcome my fear.

If you wish to live and thrive let a spider run alive.

If I knew where you all live I would come round and try to pick them up and put them outside.

They don't like cedar oil so get some blocks of cedar wood.

Or if you also don't like cedar, something like this: nikura.com/products/spider-repellent-pure-essential-oil-blend

I totally sympathise OP. You're really not alone.

I start working myself up in the last week of August knowing that spider season is coming. Since then, I dread going to the toilet in the middle of the night and do it in the dark like other posters up thread. I scam timidly the coving and skirting boards. I darent pick items of clothes up that have sat on a chair overnight etc. I'm jumpy and anxious, just waiting for a giant house spider to be lurking there.

It didn't help that last year around this time, DH spotted (thankfully) a large house spider by our bed and grappled with it to finally put it outside. The very next night, one the same size came darting out from under the bed by my side (it was definitely a different one as I watched DH put the other one out the window). We didn't know where it went so couldn't even get it out. DH had long lost interest and fell asleep - I'm still paranoid where it went to this day!!

BUT, I joined the Facebook group mentioned by the above poster. It hasn't cured my arachnophobia but it does make you more (? compassionate) towards them...I'm now fine with small, even medium ones , it's just the biggies I am utterly petrified of.

Indorex flea spray gets recommended on here a lot. It does kill them though.

I try to : keep windows closed as much as is reasonably possible. Shake washing before bringing it in. Be extra studious with bleaching and disinfecting tile floors etc. hoovering more often.

We still have a lot of clutter (young kids, lack of storage) but they do say minimise clutter. Spiders love hiding between boxes etc.

You can get a mosquito net thats like a tent, and you put your mattress in it.

When I reached an all time low with my (very real) spider phobia I manage to conquer it by forcing myself to stand next to small spiders and really look at them/watch them, then gradually moved onto bigger spiders. If you can make yourself stand there for a few minutes eventually your heart rate returns to normal and you can start to break down the connection your brain has made between spiders and stress response. I know you'll assume my phobia wasn't as bad as yours if I could get over it but I really was affected by it severely. Thing is when you're at home alone with a newborn you can't run from the house when a spider appears so I was kind of cornered into having to deal with it.

Having unlearned my stress reaction, I'm amazed by how chilled out about spiders I am now. I've even gone to sleep knowing there was a big spider in the room. They still make me jump when I first see them but I recover immediately.

Peppermint spray all over your bedroom and bed. Make a safe haven!!

I'd recommend the friendly spider course at London Zoo, I know it gets mentioned on here a lot but it really did change my life.

I tell myself that I've seen all my giant spiders

I’m sure (but may be corrected!) the massive house spiders are perfectly harmless and don’t bite. Generally I’ve never been scared of spiders but I have to admit the media hysteria around false widows has me on alert, plus the fact I’ve seen them around more the last few years. As it’s spider season I do check my ceilings before u go to bed purely as I don’t want to be bitten!

Although, if any of you have cellar spiders, the almost clear/white biggish ones with tiny bodies and spindly legs, they are your friends. They prey on and eat other spiders!

Wow, that's a great achievement!

I think you've hit the nail on the head there with the instantaneous adrenaline/cortisol/stress response when we first see them. It's like an autonomic reaction. Perhaps the answer is to look at them and watch them and wait for that initial reaction to die down then?

I'd definitely have to practice on smaller ones first. The sheer speed of the giant house spiders adds a whole other layer of terror. I'd be better if they stayed in one place or moved slowly. But meh, I don't suppose they're going to change their primal behaviour just for me 😁

I can't put on clothes without turning them inside out to check for them

I’ve got one trapped under a glass as I type. Same thing happened last week. I just can’t bring myself to do anything else!

It’s weird I’ve never really had a massive phobia of them before. I remember in one flat about 6 years ago, my flatmate screaming for help and I ran in and it was a spider. And I kind of just looked at her in exasperation as her scream had scared me, then went back into my bedroom thinking she was a bit OTT.

I don’t know why but the past year or so I’ve became especially unsettled by them. A really annoying ex texted me the same night I seen the Sp and I was that close to asking him to come over just to get rid of it but thankfully I resisted 😂

I am generally quite happy single but it is one of those situations when I think it would be nice to have a partner. It’s so much less scarier with someone around especially if they can remove them.

My last (nice) ex was a vegan and he would get rid of them alive which tbh is nice for my sake too as I don’t like to see them dead or squashed! I agree about the speed of them being so scary 😧 surprised i caught that other one.

I moved into a flat and it had carpet over carpet. I think it was laying weird so I took up a corner and found a not small not big spider under there. It must have been trapped there a long time. I put it in a glass and put it out. First time i've felt compassion for one

My phobia is in absolute overdrive this year with having my baby in the house. Dyson is charged and up on the landing and I've been spraying peppermint based oil around door frames today. I'm constantly on edge but unlike other posters, I need to have a light on to be able to see them if I wake up. I'm a nervous wreck and it's not helped by dh working away in the week. I know I need to do something about my irrational fear but whilst still in the grips of it I feel like a hostage in my own home, it's horrible.

I'm a long time spider phobe but since moving into my own place 7 years ago have been a lot more chilled about them. This year for no real reason I'm really jumpy about them again. DP is really not bothered about them but he found a big bastard at his the other day that made him shudder which hasn't helped.

One crawled out of a hole inside my sewing machine when I turned it on a couple weeks ago. It came out all defensive, with front legs raised like it was its' right to live there and it was paying rent or something!

I am not fazed by them on the whole unless they are the fighting type or get really massive. Then it's more the sudden unpredictable movement and speed I don't like.

The really skinny fragile, long-legged ballerina-like ones can stay. I let them get on with what they're doing and will save them if they get trapped in the bath. I even talk to them. Like them generally.

I kill the false black widowy looking ones. I just don't like them.

The big furry ones that grow massive and run at lightening speed get one chance to stay out my way. If they break the pact and I see them again they go out or die.

Am currently without a bed and sleeping on the floor. Anything that doesn't respect my personal space and crawls over me in the night (apart from the ballerinas) is asking for death, however.

My sister is absolutely phobic to the point of tears if she is confronted by one in a place she feels locked into. So if she's in the bath and theres one on the bathroom door she will not move past the door. She'll stay trapped in the bath. She once called me and I had to leave my house and travel to hers to deal with a spider that was the size of a 50 pence piece!

What's this rat thing😮?