What to do about breakfast refusing dd who really needs to eat in the mornings ?

[pancakesfruitwafflesno]

Dd hates breakfast, always has, totally refuses no matter what we’ve offered. She’s 4 and was diagnosed with ASD at age 2.

Not eating REALLY affects her mood but she doesn’t understand that and I just don’t know what to do. Has anyone been through similar? What did you do ? I know if she just had breakfast each day she wouldnt have as many meltdowns in the morning 😭

Is she happy to drink in the mornings? If so, how about a smoothie or some type of yoghurt and fruit-based drink? Banana and almond milkshake?

Otherwise I'd make sure that dinner the night before is substantial and happens as late as possible (or give a big snack before bed), make sure she at least has a drink of water or milk in the morning, leave breakfast things out where she can come and help herself when she's ready, and let her get on with it for now. You may fins it changes as she gets older and has more understanding of how it affects her mood.

Definitely don't stress about it in front of her. I agree with the advice above, and all you can do is offer. Would she eat on the way to school instead? Just try and be calm and very flexible with options. Would it be worth mentioning to school as well as they could sit her down with something when she goes in? She wouldn't be the only one.

A friend of mine puts her DD on the sofa in front of the TV with a plate of finger food on her lap which she mindlessly eats without noticing. Have you tried that?

No she doesn’t want to drink either. Won’t eat on the way as she tends to ‘zone out’ I’ve tried to offer a bedtime snack but she still seems starving mid morning which affects her mood and she has stomach pain from hunger so much but I can’t get her to understand the connection it’s as if she’s not associating things with how her body feels and actions she can take to make her self feel better

Does she understand/remember the concept of an advent calendar? Could you make something like that - but not festive - with a daily morning snack (some kind of healthy cereal bar, maybe) in a box or behind a door or something to make it fun?

What does she really like? What will tempt her?

I'd put out an assortment of berries, cereal bars and some cocktail sausages or cheese cubes, easy stuff she can eat with her fingers and make sure she has plenty of time.

Has she said why she won't eat? Worried about getting milk on her clothes? Something else?

We have been through similar but had some success with non-breakfasty type foods. Had a good run with home made pizza slices, but it tends to go in phases. If you can find one thing she will eat, give her that - but expect to need to change in a few weeks to something else. Its worth trying 'fun' food ie making smiley faces out of things. You probably know that ASD can affect interoception - the ability to feel things like hunger. So she may genuinely be feeling ill rather than feeling hunger ifyswim?

Frozen yoghurt lolly?

Yoghurt banana chips peddled as being a sweet?!

She doesn’t talk much and won’t answer questions so I can’t find out. In general she’s not the best eater and will have phases of loving something only eating that for weeks then suddenly will refuse to eat it ever again .
I might try the yogurt lolly idea in the past she has just sat and watched lollies melt then been upset but if I make really small ones myself it could work

Yes she will cry and scream and hold her stomach saying ‘hurts’ but it’s definitely hunger and I try to explain food will make her feel better but she doesn’t understand. If she’s hot she will just sweat not attempt to remove her cardigan if she’s cold she will shiver and cry and refuse a blanket as she hates the feeling

Can she not eat at break time? Are they not allowed to? Breakfast makes me feel physically sick and always has. My Mum forced me to eat it for years and I used to feel awful every morning. She wakes up starving and thinks everyone should eat breakfast. I have my porridge about 10am when I've been up for a few hours and my hunger kicks in.

Smoothies/milkshake in a cute beaker with a straw?
What would she do if you (gently not forcing it) put the straw in her mouth and said "ok....slurp it down".
My girl would often say "no" to the offer of a drink but if I literally held the carton or beaker for her and put the straw in her mouth - she would drink.

It doesn't need to be a breakfast item does it.
So if she's only eating pizza or chips or toast at teatime offer her that.
Sometimes with ASD little (and big ones) its about them choosing and not being chosen for.
Maybe try asking her if she wants this or that? xx

Would having a hotel style pick list menu the night before maybe help? Gives her a sense of control, and it also means it may feel if it is already planned in and not an unexpected thing less if a battle

As the parent of a child with autism and arfid, I would recommend just leaving the control to her and if she says she doesn’t want breakfast to accept that and get rid of the stress regarding it. For many girls, autism and anxiety are very strongly linked and anxiety can suppress appetites.

What does she do each day? Has she just started school? I would just make sure she gets offered suitable an hour or so later (school do need to support with this because of her disability).

My son was like this. I wanted to reassure you first of all that he eventually figured out that eating helped him feel better but it took until he was 10 or 11 to make the connection. He also has ASD.

Often I would distract him with my phone then stick a banana in his gob and once he had the first bite he was able to continue.

I also used bribery. A lot. A LOT.

We also learned NOT to make a fuss or praise him when he did eat as it drew attention to the fact he was doing something he thought he didn’t want to do.

And we talked a lot from very early on about what different foods did for you. Eg, blueberries fight bad bugs, bananas give your muscles energy, carrots give tour eyes super seeing power. He was obsessed with superheroes so we used his language.

Just read the hot and cold thing!! My son is STILL exactly like this as a teenager. I give him a gentle reminder that he’s wearing a heavy jumper on a hot day but mostly leave him to it now. It gets easier.

I would try non- breakfast food, and call it a snack. Remove any reference to breakfast. If you normally sit down for breakfast after getting dressed eg then try having a snack before getting dressed to remove all association.

What are her timings? When does she wake, when do you try breakfast, when do you need to leave?

If you stayed at home, when would she want food?

She sounds exactly like my DD who also has ASD. She’s better now at age 6 but when she started reception it was so tricky. We also have the same issue on days out where she won’t eat because she is too distracted & then has lots of meltdowns.

DD is slow to get going in the morning so what helped was to allow her to have her iPad in bed & have something like Frosties, some homemade cake or Complan (meal substitute shake). All things that mumsnet would freak out about but we took the view that it was better that she ate & she was more likely to do that in bed on the iPad 🙈!

I would get up in plenty of time so that she has been up and about for a good long while before being expected to eat and then serve foods that she likes and sit and eat with her. You know what she needs and she doesn't .