It's totally normal for women to suffer from periods so painful they faint

[WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople]

This was said to my ds's 21 year old girlfriend last night at A&E after she has passed out from this pain.

I am getting really pissed off that women's health problems, particularly gynae issues are being dismissed, overlooked and we are made out to be some kind of drama queens.

Ds's girlfriend has been suffering for a few years now and the pain and heavy bleeding is getting worse. The pain is so bad she is fainting and nothing she takes or does eases the pain. She saw an endo gynae at our local hospital a few months ago who was very dismissive of her issues (this consultant has a reputation for her lack of bedside manner), wouldn't consider the possibility of endometriosis despite her mum having a full hysterectomy at the age of 30 due to endo and her auntie being a sufferer. She came out of the consultation very upset.

She complained to PALS and the hospital has agreed to do a mri scan (she has not yet received a date for this) and a follow up appointment with a different gynae this week.

It boils my blood so many women are frequently dismissed over their health issues.

My own sister had suffered from gynae and bowel issues for decades. At the age of 44 a mass was found on her ovary and they suspected ovarian cancer, after a 5 hour emergency op to remove the ovary it was found (luckily) to not be oc but a massive endometrioma. She ended up losing an ovary because of this lack of earlier diagnosis not to mention the stress of thinking she had cancer.

My friend ended up having a very serious op which resulted in her losing a kidney and part of her bowel and spending several nights in ICU due to her lack of diagnosis and 8 years on she still suffers.

I too have suffered with digestive and gyane issues for decades. Struggled to conceive from the age of 26-32 and told it was all just one of those things, some women suffer more than others. Since 2013 I have been under the same gynae department (same one as ds's girlfriend). EVery year since I have had procedures for my excessively heavy periods including 5 hysteroscopies to remove recurring polyps and a uterine ablation which has failed leaving me in more pain. My gynae just wanted to discharge me with a prescription for pain relief but I pleaded for a mri to find the source of the pain. This was 8 months ago and lo and behold deep endometriosis and diffuse adenomyosis was detected all at the age of 50!

DS's girlfriend has asked me to accompany her to this appointment as she is very nervous about being dismissed again. I am not a particularly assertive person myself but really want to advocate for her, would it be right for us to insist some kind of investigation if they dismiss her again, should we be push for this?

It's great she's got you in her corner. It's absolutely not normal and as you've found, women's gynecological problems are rarely taken seriously unless you go back time after time and eventually demand something is done.

Definitely push for investigations. It is not normal.

I'm afraid you will have to push, and keep pushing. Your DS's girlfriend's symptoms certainly sound typical of endo, and, no, she is not too young. I had passing-out level period pain by the time I was 16, and no respite until my hysterectomy in my 40s.

They are right in one sense that it is 'normal' - because a lot of women suffer it and no one will take it seriously or do anything other than fob you off with painkillers that don't touch the sides.

Definitely not normal! Per the NHS’ right to choose, she can request to be referred to a specialist endometriosis centre. I started going to my GP with similar symptoms in my early teens and spent years being fobbed off. I was eventually told I had deep infiltrating endometriosis, affecting multiple organs at 32. I also now have adenomyosis too, so I sympathise.

I get the ‘mum friend override’. Basically while you would maybe struggle to be assertive for yourself, if you see someone nervous or being mistreated you get the mum friend override and stand up for them, no problem. It sounds like she knows you’re the right person to be with her OP. I’m angry to see what they told her.

Thank you everyone, I hate to see anyone suffering and not being listened to. Hopefully this new gynae will be a little more understanding.

I may have to go down this road again with dd16, she has horrendous periods but the battle there is getting the dismissive GP to listen and that's a whole other story!

I dare say that the only time male A&E staff have to deal with periods is either when someone has passed out with the pain, or is experiencing uncontrollable bleeding, so from their point of view, maybe they think it is 'normal' because that's all they see.

Of course it's not normal. Jesus.

Fainting from period pain isn't normal. I think when you go you need to frame it that way rather than give the doctor the opportunity to gaslight you that it is.

Once you have got the doctor to agree it isn't normal and you don't know what's causing it, it would seem reasonable to suggest insist on further investigation.

Your ds's girlfriend can prepare herself by having answers to the questions the doctor may ask.

When does the pain start?
How long does it last?
Is there anything which makes the pain worse or relieves it?
What has she tried to help with the pain?
How does she rate the pain? Drs often use a 1 - 10 pain scale, examples of pain scale charts are available on line so that she can accurately rate her pain. Being woken from sleep or unable to get to sleep because of pain are significant.
How often does she faint?
It's good to offer information about how his affects her ability to function and do usual life stuff.
If her periods are heavy she will probably be asked about the kind of sanitary products she is using and how often she has to change them.
She will be asked the usual about how long her usual cycle lasts and when the last one started.

It took me nearly 30 years to get my endo and adeno diagnosed, it's really not good enough.

Good luck.

My acupuncturist told me that periods should be comfortable and manageable. If we have any pain or horrible symptoms it's because of a hormone imbalance.

Unfortunately in the U.K. the medical profession is not interested. They don't know what our hormones should be at so even if they tested then they'd be no further forward.

It's a fucking joke.

Take her to an acupuncturist who specialises in gynae issues and see if that helps.

Poor thing shouldn't be in that much pain.

It's so good she has ypu in her corner. She's definitely not too young. I fought and was at gp weekly in my late teens. Had a lap at 19 and confirmed endometriosis. Adeno was suspected 3 years ago then i was told I didn't have it. More signs now so hopefully find out next week when I have my 4th op.

Does she suffer with pains down her legs at all? If so get her to mention that to gynae aswell. I feel for her as ive been there hopefully she gets some decent help soon.

Thanks everyone. It's just dreadful we've all had to suffer for so long before being taken seriously, that really has to stop, younger womens gynae health needs to be taken much more seriously.

I spent hours with her a few months ago, we printed off a list of her symptoms, time lines and basically most of the questions you mention. The gynaecologist didn't even look at the list and just spoke over her the whole time. I'm a member of our local endo support group and this particular gynae has form for this kind of attitude towards her patients.
Hoping we will have a more encouraging consultation with the new gynae on Friday

Unfortunately, it was normal for me, but it is not normal for most of the female population. When I went to seek help as a teenager, I was advised by a male doctor that the cure would be to get pregnant. I was 13/14 at the time, and my mum nearly took his head off.

Dreadful advice, if any medical professional says this to my dd16 I will scream at them.

I have no idea why they keep on with the same worn out line that it is normal for women to suffer, it really isn't. Hardly any of my friends have had issues with their periods, some now in their perimenopause stage but never in their teens and 20's. The ones who have had issues have eventually ended up being diagnosed with endo, pcos or fibroids etc.

I've found that the advanced nurse practitioners are much better than GP's when it comes to dealing with period issues.

I would really recommend getting an appointment with one if possible.

Well done for having her back.

I still remember a male GP telling me his 'theory' on period pain making you faint. Apparently it was the equivalent of fainting at the sight of blood. So if you knew you were having a period you were overwhelmed by the thought and fainted. Chronic pain and suffering on a monthly basis for decades completely dismissed. 🤬

I was so shocked I didn't even respond (and still just OD on brufen and work through the pain each month).

Please look at this thread. It has a link to the NICE guidelines.

If you don’t get what you think she needs, ask very directly why they are not following the NICE guidelines.

Edited to add the link: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4989892-endometriosis-and-gaslighting-in-the-nhs

Thank you for the link, this is really helpful.

A female psychologist I had to see in order to get a planned C-section told me the same thing. Absolute horse shit. Who thinks peddling this nonsense is helping anyone? Pain makes you weak/faint. How is period pain any different? I vomited throughout my entire pregnancy and labour and kept being told it was normal. It gave me PTSD about feeling nauseous. So clearly not normal!

Just a quick update to say that we had a brilliant consultation.

We saw a lovely guy, he is actually a gynae oncologist but was running an extra clinic to help with the backlog.

He took one look at her ultrasound scan from 2 years ago and noted one ovary has a huge endometrioma on it (which the GP had decided to do sod all about) and said it is 100% endometriosis and he will refer he on for an mri and a lap/excision surgery and she will be looked after from now on.

So, so pleased for her.

So pleased she had a decent consultant and things are moving forward positively for her. She's so lucky to have you in her corner. It's an awful disease to suffer from and emotional support is so valuable. Hopefully the surgery comes soon for her and works for some time.
I popped on to see of there was an update while having a break from sorting everything before my surgery.

8-10 years ago I said "I think I have endo"
The doctor said if I didn't want to go on the pill there's nothing they can do

Fast forward to last year when I ended up screaming in pain and on gas and air, I just had an MRI scan

Stage 4 endometriosis, 8cm cysts, kissing ovaries, my bowel is affected... oh and my consultant has gone off sick until 2025 so I'm left in pain every day until they can put me into menopause then operate

Oh and adenomyosis. With deep infiltrating endo

Brilliant

I ended up going privately with my DD at 18, when after an NHS ultrasound scan (which has never in the history of endometriosis, picked up endometriosis!) sent a letter saying 'no evidence of endo'. Our final straw was me finding her vomiting and passing out, blood everywhere, after a shower (so gripping her towel as best she could). She had a laparoscopy and ablation to treat the endo, of which there was loads and they diagnosed retrograde menstruation also, so her periods were moving the wrong way and making the endo spread more likely. She'll need treatment again in a few years no doubt, but at least it's on her records now and hence we may be able to go via NHS then.

Be prepared to fight for a referall even with a diagnosis. I have found some drs won't refer within my practice so I tend to deal with a few of them that understand what endo is. It took me 8 months to get referred this time as Dr wanted tests run as it could be an infection. After living with endo for nearly 20 years at that point hand 3 surgeries to removed adhesions I was well aware when I'm having endo flairs.