Moving primary school at the last minute

[Ayechinnyreckon]

Long story short, kids (y1&y4) are at private school and are pretty happy there. Due to return next week. We are going to really struggle to afford it this year (mortgage rate increase, CoL rises, fee increase). Before summer we looked at a local primary school with spaces and absolutely loved it, put in the application but got cold feet as it felt we were putting "going on holiday" over keeping kids at the current school (in reality it's more than just holidays - it's pretty much all frivolities and savings and nothing more than necessities, no idea how we're going to fund Christmas or birthdays).

We put in the application, were accepted but at the last minute decided not to do it, because the kids are happy where they are.

The closer we get to them going back to school the more sick I feel at the prospect of an unexpected bill, me needing new shoes etc.

What would you do? DC1 is an anxious little thing, am I going to totally fuck him up? Argh. I just don't know what to do.

Honestly if the local school still has places you'd be really daft not to move them especially the yr1 child. Surely if moving them is going to be inevitable then the sooner the better is the best strategy?

OP if you can’t afford it now, you are going to really struggle over the next few years with normal increases / VAT changes / higher costs at secondary school.

I’d move them to the state school now, the younger then are the less disruptive that will be, and save your money for tutoring or similar (or secondary school fees).

You have 9+ years of double fees to go. That sounds like it will be a lot of stress on the family.

You need to check terms and conditions for cancelling private school, as it’s usual to have to pay a whole terms fees if you haven’t given enough notice. A friend of mine cancelled a week before Easter that her DS wouldn’t be needing his place, but still had to pay for the next terms fees.

If they still have spaces move them and give notice. Year 1 places can be hard to come by and you may miss the opportunity for both to attend together. Presumably you will need to pay a term in lieu but that will be worth it longer term if you otherwise will struggle.

You'll be on the hook for paying for the next terms fees (standard notice period) and that will grate, but you'll save so much in the longer run.

Have you checked if the state school still has vacancies? They won't have held places for you (and I assume you cancelled them when you changed your mind about switching)

Definitely move them to the local primary and take the pressure off yourselves financially.

Spend the money on family things, holidays, kids activities, tutors, experiences, a cleaner so you can spend more time with the kids... the list is endless!

If your circumstances change and if you need to you can always look at private for high school or 6th form.

If the places at the state school are still available and nothing has changed with your finances then I’d transfer them asap and just accept that this term’s fees have been paid already.

You are insane not to move schools. Do you honestly think struggling to buy shoes or heat your house in the winter if we have an extended cold snap will make their life better. I know we all want to do our very best for our children but struggling to pay fees while there is an absolutely lovely school that's free available to you is being silly. Also there is nothing wrong with wanting a nice holiday. After the rushing and racing about all year it's lovely to have a nice week or two in the sun (or wherever you like) to look forward to. It's an unbelievable mental health boost so don't discount wanting to have a few nice things in life.

It's only for primary, so only 3 years of double fees.

Yes local school still has spaces.

You are all saying what I want to hear😆

And yes, will need to pay in lieu of notice

I would move them in a heartbeat

Take the spaces whilst you can OP. It’s going to carnage after Christmas with private school kids leaving for state plus schools closing and even more moving to state. If you’ve found a school you like and they have space for both, grab them with two hands!

I've accepted the place. Just got to wait now. When do we tell the kids? I guess I have to take them to buy new uniform. I just worried I'm ruining their life. Eldest is very attached to routines and friends.

You aren't ruining their life. This may be a tricky transition, or may not, once you have told them just go with what they seem to need, reassure them they can still catch up with friends from the old school, start planning routines with them for the new one, just ease them into the idea of something new and find out all the positives you can about the new school ( more kids=more friends, things to play on in the playground etc). This sounds like such a sensible choice for you all as a family and as much as it's normal to worry, I would try and keep it in check if you can as otherwise you will add to their fear.

You're not ruining their lives so please try to stop with that mindset or they will inevitably pick up on it.

Tell them as soon as possible and give them lots of opportunities to ask questions. Keep it positive and remember in a few weeks time this will all feel like a lifetime ago.