Intimidating experience when out jogging

[NotSoCoolRunnings]

I say jogging...more like shuffling as I'm heavier than I want to be and very unfit at the moment. But doing C25K as a way to try and recapture some of my previous fitness as well as improve my mental health as it's taken a bit of a battering recently.

I was out yesterday at a small local lake that has a great flat path around the perimeter. It's a lovely location, not far from town and various people milling about walking dogs, feeding the ducks etc so I thought I would feel safe.

I was jogging past a couple (30s) holding hands, who were coming the other way. The guy proceeded to mimic me physically by doing a 'comedy' floundering of his arms and legs; a sarcastic "oh look at you running" and laughing manically. I was obviously taken aback so just sighed and said "oh shut up" in a kind of "oh you're so unfunny/unoriginal" kind of way. To which both in the couple started manically laughing. I felt really uncomfortable, embarrassed and intimidated.

I knew I would pass them again if they did another loop, so when I saw them approaching I started filming (it would have looked like I was just looking at my phone). You can see from the video when they flock me they start laughing manically again and you can clearly hear the guy say "ohhhh, here she comes again". The 'lady' then says something I can't quite work out from the video. Again, I felt really intimated and uneasy.

The lady in the couple is clearly identifiable as she wearing the uniform of a local care home. It makes me shudder that people like this are 'caring' for others vulnerable loved ones.

Am I overreacting? Should I contact the care home and let them know what I experienced (yes they were off duty but in my view if you're in uniform you are still representing your employer etc).

I'm still so angry and bothered by it this morning. I'm just a slightly fat and unfit middle-aged woman minding my own business trying to improve myself a little. What is wrong with people 🙁

This is awful and similar things have happened to me and pretty much all female runners. This is on the exhaustive list of shit that women have to deal with but men don’t have to.

But, no, I don’t think you should contact the care home. I don’t see how that would really benefit anyone.

In Afghanistan women now can't read aloud in their own home. We are so, so lucky for the accident of birth that led to us being women in the UK.

However..... It's the same misogyny. A minute fraction as serious, but the same abuse of the structural and physical power imbalance between the sexes; we know they'd have not done the same to a male jogger.

Sadly verbally and physically abusing women for taking up public space whilst running is really common. I've lost count of the verbal shit (and now only run with loud music) and I've been physically assaulted twice. I pick the area and time of day that I run extremely carefully now.

If the woman is happy to play along with her partner's misogyny I'm extremely worried she'd also abuse the power imbalance between herself and her vulnerable care home clients. Huge red flag. Report please, not to screw her over (she's punished enough by her choice of partner) but for the sake of the elderly people.

Really?

The care home will be made aware of this woman's true character, and they can keep a sharp eye out for how this woman is treating her vulnerable patients. Given how she behaved in public, I shudder to think what she's capable of when she thinks no one is watching. The care home may decide to sack her altogether. One can hope.

Obviously it will benefit the OP to know the people who humiliated and bullied her will be brought to account for their actions.

Might be harsh for the carer, it would be written warning in my SIL's care home for doing this in uniform, but if you can do the time don't do the crime! The other benefit is that women may feel enough shame that she doesn't do it to anyone else.

Terrible behaviour by both of them. Definitely contact the care home agree with others that there will likely be rules in place around behaviour in uniform. What despicable people. Good luck on C25 it's a great feeling at the end

What a nasty and very sad pair. I would definitely send the video to her employer OP.

@NotSoCoolRunnings

well done for going jogging & doing C25k.

Don't let this stop you!!

id definitely email the care company. In uniform she's representing them! Ask if they think mocking people reflects well on how they treat their clients.

id even join Facebook, x, whatever else to shame them. Nasty pair.

They are both awful, but don't take it personally, I have a very slim, athletic, attractive, young friend who looks pretty even when she's running (I'd hate her if she wasn't so lovely!!) and even she gets mocked & name called. Twats will twat no matter what you look like or how fit you are.

DO NOT LET IT STOP YOU

What awful people. You aren't over-reacting. Well done for having enough presence of mind to film them on the second loop. I would encourage making a complaint if you feel able to. She seems like a bully who lacks empathy, so you are not just highlighting the impact on yourself, but the potential risk to vulnerable residents in the care home. Best of luck with your running programme.

Definitely send the footage to the care home. The thought of someone with little empathy caring for the vulnerable is not pleasant.

Also disturbing that this couple will potentially be having children and modelling this behaviour to them.

Please don’t let this stop you running. You are doing fantastic!

I’d be inclined to share the video with the care home too. It’s such a worry she had contact with vulnerable adults.

Send it to the care home and the police

It's intimidation

OP, this is fucking awful and yes, I would contact her employer.

Please, please don’t let this put you off running. Don’t let these thick bastards spoil things for you. I did Couch to 5K and I was very overweight and extremely unfit. It was very very hard! But I still did it, and it very genuinely changed my life. Not just fitness-wise, but in terms of my confidence and mental health. You can do this, and you will! xx

It would show this person up for the nasty bully they are.

Bullshit. Not an overreaction in the slightest.

"she was the easily led type who went along with it..."

This does not justify her behaviour at all, she was also being mean and bullying.

My father is in a care home and I absolutely wouldn’t want a carer like that anywhere near him.

Contact the care home with the video and put it onto YouTube and TikTok.

All this "ignore it" business is stupid. People should be aware that they can be outed these days. It might make them stop intimidating others.

I would take the video in to the care home and ask to speak to the manager. Let them know that this dickhead is representing their business as well as looking after vulnerable elderly people. Not a good look if that were to be publicized on Facebook or to go to the press….

Women who jog endure so much abuse, whether it’s sexual comments or mockery. Send it to the care home, it’s in their hands what they want to do with it.

Contacting the care home might lead to a bit of stress for her, and she’d deserve it. I’m not sure I’d bother though, it might be better to try to move on.

if that happened to me it would upset me too, keep running though! They sound like a pair of thick twats.

This. Imagine being the sort of sad, pathetic person who thinks doing impressions of someone running is funny and a great couple bonding activity.
Two arseholes have certainly found each other there.

I'd much rather be fat than a twat. How much joy and kindness can someone like that really experience in life - if they think that's an appropriate way to treat someone else how do they treat each other/their friends and family treat them?

Not that you should feel sorry for them - they are old enough and no doubt ugly enough to make their own choices, but just to put their comments into perspective. Nobody decent is thinking anything about you other than 'ah, I remember starting C25K and how hard it was, fair play to her,' or 'God I should be running myself, good on her for being more motivated than me,' or similar.

Definitely say something.
I've learnt to pass things like this on to people whom l think should be told.. so I'm not carrying the stress myself .
I had a similar issue myself and reported the person ( NHS worker).
We shouldn't have to just ignore it.

Please ring the care home! That woman is a bully and she’s suppose to be in a position of trust and care! Don’t let them get away with it! Keep on running too- you sound great

The couple are horrible twats and you’re definitely not overreacting, but what concerns me is that it sounds like the male was the instigator in all this, yet it’s the woman who’s potentially going to be in trouble at work if you report her.
Yes, she joined in and will deserve it, but the man was arguably worse and will get off Scot free.

Oh well.

Maybe the woman in question will the see how it feels to be treated unfairly.

Hardly an ounce of sympathy really.