Please humour me with positive stories about conception with an older father?

[SarahAndQuack]

I'm currently considering this (FWIW he's my friend not my partner; we're both gay). I'm a natural worrier, and while I'm aware it is sensible to be clued up about the risks, I've just hit the point where I feel as if all I can see is risk. Would anyone feel like cheering me up by sharing experiences of it working out fine?

I do know there's a place for sober reminders of miscarriage/stillbirth statistics and complications and disabilities, but just now I could do with hearing from the quiet percentage who have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies. I'd be so grateful. I'm 39 and he's 56.

I was 35 and my hubby 48 when we had our first baby. He was stillborn but it was nothing to do with our age or any complications. His heart stopped whilst I was in active labour. I’d had a healthy, easy pregnancy. We conceived again quickly when I was 36 and hubby 49. Had another healthy, easy pregnancy and opted for a c-section at 38 weeks. Our dd is a perfect, healthy 4 year old now. We did opt for the downs screening but I’ve friends older than us who chose not to. Age really wasn’t an issue for us. Good luck

Oh, goodness. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you have your lovely DD. Thank you for replying.

I believe there is also a higher risk of neuro divergency with older fathers, ADHD and ASD.

This is not proven at all. OP I was 36 when I had my little one and DH was 53. Other than having Cmpa he's a perfectly healthy happy toddler now. Obviously there are risks but there are many women who have babies into their 40's with no complications.

Is it not?! I thought this one was pretty well accepted TBH. My understanding is that you're looking at a risk that looks dramatic expressed as an increase on the incidence for younger mothers (OMG, the chances double! or something like that), but the risk itself is pretty small, so the increase isn't terribly frightening.