Sons being given more house deposit than daughters

[worryworrysuperscurry]

www.zoopla.co.uk/discover/property-news/parents-give-gbp13k-more-to-sons-buying-first-home/

I read this article and was staggered that apparently sons tend to be given more in terms of house deposit than daughters. I'm struggling to think why this should be, I have always been of the opinion that each child gets the same amount in situations such as this.

I was also surprised to read that the average contribution is £58k. We feel fortunate to be in a position to help out with house deposits, but are thinking more along the lines of £25k as a top up to what DC have saved themselves rather than paying for the deposit outright. After reading this piece I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe to one where parents can pay so much towards deposits!

I find the deposit size crazy as things were so different in my day.

We sold our house recently, 3 bedroom terrace, and I was shocked at the amount of first time buyers (in their 30s and 40s with children) who offered on our house! First time buyers normally buy one bedroom flats. Just shows how high house prices are and the people in the market have had to adapt, they can’t afford to buy multiple times and go straight in with a house than a flat, requiring a larger deposit.

It’s crazy how depending the decade you was born determines on if you can get a decent house for a decent price. We only paid £150k for it and it sold for an eye watering amount, wasn’t even a big impressive house or anything, just a standard terrace with a small garden.

This is why house prices are so bloody high!

You basically have 3+ people buying the house.

The child, their partner and both sets of their parents! T

It's just keeping house prices high. Imagine if all the 20 something couples earning £55 k combined... And could only borrow £150k. And the didn't have a nice hefty £70k+ contribution from parents? They couldn't afford the £200k house.... The houses wouldn't sell, so they'd be forced to lower prices in line with actual salaries and incomes.

£58, bloody hell, well ours are going to get a shock!

Is this yet another symptom of some parents having incredibly low standards for their sons?

@Pandasandtigers Me too! I'm old, and bought our first house when I was 23 and the deposit was £2k - DC are looking at a deposit that is twice the cost of our first house!

@llamajohn Yes, it seems to be the case that it's incredibly difficult to buy without help. My DD (mid twenties and saving hard for a deposit) told me the only people her age she knows who have bought houses are those who have had an inheritance, or one whose parents are millionaires. At her age, me and my contemporaries bought houses within a couple of years of graduating.

@Simonjt I just don't get it! Because let's face it, even now, men generally have higher earning potential than women. Not always, obviously, but women often have to factor in maternity leave and part time working at some point in their careers, it's still not a level playing field.

Based on my mother’s experience…. the difference between what’s given to sons and daughters may reflect desperation to get the 30+ year-old son to leave home.

Would the skew be down to religious factors?

@NorthernKitty That reminds me of one of my cousins - my auntie resorted to leaving estate agents brochures next to his place at dinner. He eventually moved out at 30!

@Thurien In what way?

Our son will get the same as our daughter.

My dad told me he doesn't understand my desperation to own a house and wouldn't help us Gave his partner's son a few thousand for a deposit though didn't he 🙄 I'm 37, married with a child and have had to accept that we will never be in a position to buy because of the deposit amounts needed

@Min133 That is really unfair, I can't understand a parent being like that.

@MinervaMcGonagallsCat As it should be!

That's just everyday sexism at work. Lots of little decisions in different families at different times but it end up that the women get less.

And house prices are high because we need to build more houses. There just aren't enough for how the population has grown over the last 30 years. Hoping the new government get on with it.

I got £2k from my parents to help with my deposit, which I was very grateful for. 10 years later they bought my (unemployed) brother a whole house as it wasn't fair I had a house and he didn't.

I'll be giving mine all the same amount so it's fair.

My husband was given £40k by his parents to buy his first flat. He had to give it back when he sold, though, and I often wonder how common that is.

I got nothing, my parents would never have thought of it even if they’d been in the position to save.

We bought a house together and had to save the additional amount to give back to his parents or risk a horrible mortgage rate, but it worked out.

Brutal.

@Pandasandtigers - because they have missed the stage of buying a flat because they couldn’t save the deposit when a one bed flat would be appropriate for their lifestyle, so skipped straight to the family home- having to save even more.

we missed the flat stage as well, we rented through that stage of living in small flats in the city. Amongst my friends in their 40s, I only know two who bought flats first then a family home, doing the “housing ladder” thing. Both bought the flats with inheritance in their 20s.

I suspect the difference is due to different cultures.

Most South Asian parents would give their sons money and not their daughters because their daughters would be taken care of by their parents in law, not because they love their daughters less

OMG! I’m outraged on your behalf!
Our kids will be treated 50/50 can’t see how any decent parent would do otherwise (unless there extenuating circumstances - disabilities or drug/abuse issues)
We plan on helping them as much as possible - you need money when you are young, no use inheriting when you’re 60! And it'll only go on care fees if its still in our names…

It's like a different world to me reading parents giving gifts of 25 k

I think that as others have said, some of the difference will be cultural. Within some cultures, the expectation is for the husband , or their family, to provide the home for a couple. The bride's family know this too, it's not that they don't necessarily have or want to give money, it's just that it wouldn't be for a house deposit .

In other cultures it's the other way around, but they aren't so prevalent in the UK to make a difference.
In traditional Greek culture, although times are definitely changing now, a bride generally already owns a house outright before marriage. She may have owned it from being a child and will be hers, whether she wishes to marry or not.

My recollection from the original news article I saw on this suggested that one of the reasons for the difference could be that parents were more likely to pay for, or contribute to, the cost of their daughters' weddings than to the cost of their sons' weddings. They therefore gave their sons more help when it came to deposits to help them buy their first property. I don't know how true that is.

We have already helped one of our children to buy a flat. We will help the other one too in due course. Any difference in the amount will be unrelated to sex (they are both girls) but will reflect the fact that one lives in London (she is currently undecided on whether she wants to try to buy there or to move out and commute in).

@TotallyKerplunked You are a far better parent than yours were. I cannot imagine treating children so unfairly.