New low in dating

[Mangococktail]

Met a guy for a drink at 5.30pm yesterday.

After an hour he says he's meeting his mate in another bar for a drink

No probs, I say

He then tells me he will text me when he's back and we can have sex

I laugh and say I will be asleep

Woke up to see hehas indeed texted at 3.15am asking me to go round tohis!!

I'm quite amused by it all but really would this work for any woman???? Such an obvious way to say my mate is more fun to be with but I can't shag him so you just wait up for 8 hours and we can shag

Good grief

I've never had one but would immediately block for that and report to police.

I'm not defending guy I went on date with at all but the way he asked was humorous, charming in a way (if that is your thing) and non explicit. Ie if someone was up for this it wasn't demeaning in the way it was put. This and the fact we both drink and shop in the same small village means I'm not going to block.

I'd be angry seriously just because you think you're just allowed too laugh because you are a woman doesn't make it okay.
Tell him you aren't dial a shag and till him to get lost.

I'd be angry seriously just because you think you're just allowed too laugh because you are a woman doesn't make it okay.

The OP can react however she wants. I get where she's coming from. You know what they say about some things - films particularly - it's so bad it's good? Well this is so bad it's funny.

And given that he told her she was upset that he wasn't spending the whole evening with her, I'm absolutely sure that anything she said to him he would turn back on her because he clearly thinks he's the catch of the century and if she has any issues with him they must be because she's pining for his wonderfulnesss.

"I'm not defending guy I went on date with at all but the way he asked was humorous, charming in a way (if that is your thing) and non explicit. Ie if someone was up for this it wasn't demeaning in the way it was put. This and the fact we both drink and shop in the same small village means I'm not going to block."

Just got to the end of the thread.

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Not sure why you posted you.

I can see why you attracted this guy.

Good luck.

Sorry your Majesty.

She can react anyway she likes I just assumed she must of been angry the way he treated her and just laughed it off.

Seems she likes it.

Seems her bar is extremely low.
🤮

There's nothing that says the OP likes it, just because she didn't react the way you would. I'm at a stage where I too find it laughable the way some men approach dating (ie wrangling for a shag). It's not my job to challenge, educate or try to change them nor is it my job to police or protect other women - if someone is "whatever" enough to go with some bloke who is so disrespectful that's for them to work on. Sometimes you just want to laugh it off.

The situation is so bad it's funny - I think you handled it perfectly OP - life is too short to be feeling angry every time someone's behaviour is inappropriate. Laughing or feeling angry will get the same result when he's blocked - the fool of a man really wont care if the OP is angry, laughing or writing a manual on how to respect women.

And I've been on MN long enough to know there are women out there who would happily have a quick shag in the middle of the night and move on to the next bloke.

First date. Would you have had sex with him if he hadn’t gone off with his mate?

Maybe I’m getting old, but once upon a time men had to make an effort to get a woman to agree to even see them again.

There is nothing wrong with you wanting sex on first, second or third date.Times have changed but that, along with online porn and the influence of Andrew Tate means that there is a rise in men who have no respect and get away with treating women like hookers.

You should have just blocked him.
The best response is no response but you gave him the time of day and replied to his text.

I actually find OP's reaction more surprising and strange. I know I know...we're all different and react differently...blah blah blah. Yes I know.

I'm just saying...
It's you seemingly taking him seriously with your replies.

Replying "I'd be asleep" as if his offer was anything but shocking and disgusting, and if you weren't going to be asleep, you might take him up on it. (A disgusted or surprised look would have sufficed, even if you said nothing else).

Then texting "I was asleep" as if that was the reason you didn't go to the 3am booty call. (An 'ew' or no response would have sufficed even if nothing else).

Then still keeping communication open for him to text you normally about his dad like he didn't just insult and demean you, and you probably replying nicely like he didn't just do that.

That's what's strange to me as I've never seen anyone react that way, not even teenagers. Unless it's someone who doesn't mind that type of behaviour and sees it as okay or normal.

No wonder he'll keep carrying on and thinking it's okay. That's the answer to your OP. When you treat it normally, he'll see it as normal.

Anyway, enjoy your friendship with him I guess.

Thank you for understanding perfectly my reaction. Getting angry about things doesn't achieve anything. Nor does scolding men, unless they care what you think. He's made an idiot of himself and he knows it.

And to the poster who said I reied I'd be asleep as if I'd otherwise be up for it..reread post I laughed (loudly) and said I'd be asleep in the tone of that being infinitely preferable.

That so many women have chose to pop off at me is...depressing and sad.

I think people who have not been out in the dating world recently have little concept of the standard of some men who you end up interacting with and if you didn’t have a sense of humour and a thick skin you wouldn’t last long. I think this is funny and very in keeping with many experiences I had. She didn’t have sex with him so no she isn’t encouraging him and she isn’t finding it a turn on. I imagine he is telling his friends just now how he just doesn’t understand why women are so weird and don’t want a second date with such a catch 😂

Thank you. This exactly. You need to keep safe, keep a sense of humour, move on, stay optimistic and have the emotional intelligence to tell the difference between a run of the mill idiot and someone abusive or dangerous.

If dating is going to make you angry or worse you are intentionally trying to get angry about failed seduction attempts then you shouldn't be dating. It is going to happen. You don't need to let it ruin your day.

We should also credit men with enough intelligence to get the message. This one has. And I didn't need to write a nasty text or block to get that message heard. A cool "yeah I was asleep. Hope you had a good night!" Says it all.