I've been invited to something late DH would have loved to do

[Cushionblock]

We were married for nearly 30 years, he was a good man, but there's no getting away from the fact that I did all the "wife work". Mostly it was just how it was, sometimes it frustrated me, especially the way that if I didn't organise things, anything from a holiday to a walk in the park, we'd have never gone anywhere.

There's a sporting event that every year, when watching on TV, DH used to say he'd love to go. I'd have happily gone with him, but I wasn't interested enough to organise it, so it never happened.

Now a (male, not sure if that makes a difference) friend has invited me to go. He's organising the tickets and other arrangements. Any other event, I'd go without thinking about it, but this feels disloyal.

I need to get over it, go and have a nice time, right?

Go! Enjoy it. Think about DH while you’re there, but don’t dwell. You can do things you would both have enjoyed, even if he’s not there in person.

Please go, my first husband and I had so many plans we never got round to. We had 10% of your years, but if I didn't do the things we wanted to do in other circumstances, I'd have lived a very dull life.

Some I did with friends, some with family, and others with other men.

It's hard, but you have to live your life.

Let me guess: Goodwood Revival!

(DH always says this too , one day we will go, it does clash on the Saturday with something else we do which does need preparation for so Friday would be a rush and Sunday we'd be clearing up from Saturday, hence never going)

Enjoy! Make new memories.

when you go, maybe raise a glass in his honour, even if you do it quietly to yourself.

I am a widow too (I hate that word), I think I would go and not feel guilty. I like to think that DH lives on vicariously through me so I sometimes do things I know he would've loved.