I can’t stop spending money and think I have a shopping addiction

[ThatPeachSnake]

anything I want, I buy. I have no savings and I am a grand in debt. I’m lucky I earn a good wage but I spend it all, every month, without fail. I can pay off my debt in a month.

shopping is the only thing that makes me happy. I love clothes and nice things around home. I love perfume and luxurious skincare.

other than therapy, which I’m on the waitlist for (for various reasons, not just this!), can anyone recommend any tips on how to stop spending? What gets me is the fine line between what I really need and what is a ‘want’. I’ll justify everything I buy with how much I need it - example, lately it’s been boots and winter coat - I only had a pair of ankle boots and heeled calf boots, so justified it by telling myself I needed a pair of flat riding style boots. Now I’ve got those, I want to buy a cast iron saucepan set (not cheap!) because I read the non-stick ones can be toxic…next week, it’ll be something else.

Please any advice!

Stay off your phone, presuming you do a lot of shopping online. It's way too easy, and that's where most of the advertising gets you these days. Also worth putting a set amount into savings on pay day so the money just isn't there to spend.

Well done for recognising it before your debt spirals.

OP this is me, I'm not in debt, but have a large mortgage so really need to reign my spending on stuff and spend more wisely. It's a dopamine hit. I'm partaking in low spend September and what I've realised is if I'm going to be successful I need to get off social media, including mumsnet, when I see a thread about a perfume, or book, or new style I instantly want it myself! And like you have no off switch and will just buy. I don't think there are any underlying issues for me, just the means and constant messaging and that warm glowy feeling of dopamine when I buy.

Might be worth having a bit of a detox like me, see if you can do it?

Could you take the shopping money and spend it on private therapy?

On a practical level:

• unsubscribe from every shopping email you receive
• make a list of everything you buy
• have a separate column for things you decided not to buy
• give your credit card to a very trusted person to keep it out of the way
• set yourself a timeframe ‘no shopping for two weeks’ and extend it each time
• find something else to do to stop the mindless scrolling and shopping. I find it helps to keep my hands busy so I knit or see (obviously this isn’t for everyone)
• I read in bed in the evenings rather than be on my phone. I turn my phone onto airplane mode once I’m in bed.

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Do you shop online, or like going round the shops? You're going to have to replace the endorphin hit you get from this. Also think of a different way that you can reward yourself. So think of some kind of activity or hobby which would act as a replacement.

Can you make yoursekf wait a few days/week? See something you want/need, abd then go away and think about it fir a while. Do you really still want/need? Is it really a need?

Sell some stuff on vinted or similar, make some money back, your house must be full!

No spend days each week, building up to no sound weeks, then a no spend month.

I think you probably need to go cold turkey like with any addiction.

If it's not food, petrol or absolutely essential don't buy it.

Do this for a month at least.

Honestly, a bit of both. I love shopping online and in store. It’s a dreadful habit. It doesn’t help I live in a major city where it is all around me. Step outside the door and there’s all my favourite shops right in front of me…

I’m pretty good at keeping my flat clear. I do clear outs a lot and either donate or sell (usually I’m disappointed with how much I can sell stuff for and instantly regret buying it in the first place….!)

I agree. Honestly I know I need to just stick to it this time. I’ve tried so so many times before and always fallen.

No doubt therapy will help, but you're going to have to find some sort of displacement activity. I still spend too much, but I don't get into debt now. Delete the apps from your phone, and limit the time in shops would be a starting point.

At the moment your spending is controlling you. Switch it up by controlling your spending.

Write down everything you spend in a excel sheet everyday- item by item except for main food shop ( unless you chuck and inflatable kayak in your Aldi shop)

Make a budget set aside a few hours

1. Bills and house utilities and mortgage

2.Personal DD -phone gym union car

What ever is left split into:

1. Savings - annual holidays/xmas/ car service) and life (pension/ new home / baby/wedding/building)
2. Spending food/clothes/health/gifts/kids/hair/pets/travel

Open up new bank accounts or repurpose old ones for the above categorise. My salary goes into one account that the bills mortgage and direct debit for out of. On the 1st of the month I transfer money to a starling account for all the spending and and ISA for savings.

Pay off the debt.

Save £1000 into an emergency fund eg essential repairs (my front door broke and I need £200 to fix it!)

Then work on everything else.

Write the money mantras out

Skint - do I need it? can I afford it?
Not skint- will I use it? Is it worth it?

I save £20 a month cash for Xmas food shop. I save another £600 for Xmas which includes a night away at a Christmas Market.

I recommend starling or similar as my savings are in pots for Xmas /holidays emergency fund /dog

Honestly, the best way to deal with an addiction of any kind is to join the shopping addiction equivalent of AA.

I am a recovering alcoholic and could not have got sober without AA.

Good advice 👍

@ThatPeachSnake good luck for September! As pp said no spend and take the time to evaluate and sift through what you DO have!

You're not alone, I have some debt, low income as p/t and actually more savings than my debt in my bank accounts. So September will be a frugal month for me as well :)

Anything you can sell so that you could still purchase an item?