London lifestyle

[whereamIgoing1]

Name change for this.

I don’t know if this will be the right place to post but I’m just having a crappy day and feel pretty emotional.

I am early 30s, single, overweight, unfit, my career is going nowhere and sometimes I feel like London is overwhelming me. Everybody around me (I live in SW) seems to be in a relationship / dating / physically fit / earning at least £80k - at least one of those!

There are some parts of living in London I enjoy - it’s where my social life is, my family are within an hour’s drive, and there’s so much to do and see. But sometimes I feel like I don’t belong here. I seem to lack the drive and confidence so many young people who live here have.

Maybe I just need to work on myself, or maybe I need to move, or maybe both.

Maybe you should just go on vacation? To another country, or at least to another city. Everyone feels bad from time to time. Only you can change everything.

I actually felt similar op. I was in a good relationship and ended up getting married, but I’ve never been trendy and never had a London specific job. I live lots about London but found the buzz and the competitive feeling too much. We ended up moving out and actually I’m way more comfortable tbh.

Hi! I'm also a SW Londoner - it is very overwhelming at times. I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it at the moment . London can be fab but also suffocating- if you're not finding it enjoyable, could be a sign that it's time to explore a new chapter elsewhere?

I suspect this isn't location/London specific at all but about all the things you've listed and more. There is no guarantee being anywhere else would be better. You sound lonely and comparing yourself to others (career/salary/relationship status) will never make you happy - try to resist when those thoughts intrude. Anywhere can feel overwhelming if there are other things going on in life that you don't feel you can handle.

You can't fix everything all at once. Try focusing on just one of the things you're unhappy about. Your career/job situation, your weight, friendship group etc. Pick something that feels you can make a change, and break it down into small manageable chunks that you try to do every day. Once you see some positive change, the other areas might seem a bit easier to tackle.

Perhaps consider getting some counselling as well, to find practical coping mechanisms and ways to address the various issues that are getting on top you.

Go travelling! Why not? I mean, obviously don’t if you don’t fancy it. But you should do something brilliant like that. Sounds like your lifestyle allows it and your mind needs it?

You're in your early thirties and you're not burdened with childcare. What's stopping you getting fit? And would it magically disappear if you moved out of London? Frankly nothing is more detrimental to your fitness than moving to a place where you have to drive everywhere.

You can't wave a magic wand and transform your career, meet Mr Right, or make new friends, but if you run round the block or do some squats and planks then in ten minutes time you'll be ten minutes fitter, and there's a high probability that it will improve your mental health over time.
www.parkrun.org.uk/events/events/#geo=3.96/50.91/-4.37

I'm a born Londoner and I think it can have that effect, OP. I feel so much more relaxed in myself when I go to other parts of the UK and people seem to be more content just to be themselves.

Be kind to yourself and don't judge your inside against other people's outsides. Pick one thing to work on. I'd suggest fitness! Find a nice friendly gym to join. If you feel like sharing where in London you live/work then someone on here may be able to make a recommendation.