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I don't really want new man to become part of my friendship group

6 replies

Longfrock · 27/08/2024 20:32

And I know if I was posting that he was keeping me seperate from his friends you'd be telling me that's a red flag, but is it?

I'm middle aged, no intention at all of "settling down" again, but enjoying a casual realtionship for a few months. We see each other once or twice a week, an occasional weekend away, but both have busy lives with hobbies and friends. This is all I can fit him in TBH, although obviously, if I really wanted to I could either see less of friends or include him in some of the things with friends.

I don't want to though. I do like him, but I'm happy with things as they are. I think bringing him into my groups would change the dynamic and then there's always the risk that if we split, he stays and I go!

Does it make me terrible and our realtionship doomed? We've both said we're not looking for someone to marry/live with, been there, done that, no plans to do it again.

OP posts:
CalicoPusscat · 27/08/2024 20:36

Seems OK to me? Why, has he said anything?

July24MJ · 27/08/2024 20:37

I think its fine, as long as its what you both are happy with. I'm starting out dating again, and its something I think about. Not about hiding or compartmentalising life .... I've just never been one to think that everyone has to get on with everyone, so I'm OK with it.

Longfrock · 27/08/2024 20:43

No he hasn't said anything, but occasionally something comes up and I think "man" might enjoy that, but decide against inviting him. I haven't really told my friends he exists, I quite like not having all my social life eggs in one basket.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 27/08/2024 20:45

I thought from your title that he was trying to elbow his way into your friendship group, but he isn't.

Carry on as you have been, seeing each other regularly and seeing your friends separately. There's no need to be worried, it sounds like you're both on the same page on this and I agree that if you get him too involved with your social circle and things don't work out, you could be ousted, although if you believe him to be a decent person, he wouldn't do that to you,

Mpoxxy · 27/08/2024 20:52

You sound very sensible!

halava · 27/08/2024 21:04

Keep it all separate for now. I can't figure out what you are concerned about since this is not someone you are settling down with yet.

Have you been asked to join any of his groups of friends or social occasions?

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