Making term-time life work - tips?

[arewegoingtosaintmalo]

I have a child in y1 and a 3yo at nursery, DH works full-time in an intense job, reasonable hours but no flex, I work 4 days 8-4, 50% wfh with 1-2 days UK travel each month. Busy, stretching job but I enjoy it.

During term-time I feel I’m barely making it work. I am constantly forgetting things for school and nursery, have brain fog, always in a rush, rarely on top of the house. Stressed to the point of getting ill. The summer hols have been an absolute bliss, and I never felt like this when both DCs were in nursery, so I can only think it’s school that is the straw almost breaking the camel. I could ponder why but what I need are solutions. What do you do that makes it manageable? Any tips?

I already have a cleaner. I hate cooking.

If you rely on a car, refuel it on Sunday night

Ensure you have 5 clean shirts, two skirts or shorts and 5 pairs of socks, all clean, shirts hanging up, with top buttons undone so the yr1 child can dress themself.

I don't like cooking either but I plan a whole week's meals - good quality butchers sausages, breaded fish, a good pasta sauce etc, all of which can be cooked easily. Frozen veg, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, peppers etc. Take whatever is needed out of the freezer while you wait for the morning kettle to boil.

School bag packed and by the front door before bed. School shoes beside it. Easy Breakfasts, cereal or toast.

I cope much better if I wake up 30 mins early, make a coffee and have 15 mins calm to myself.

What sorts of things are you forgetting?

My tips are
Have enough stuff. All of it labelled. Then you can get things on the kitchen bench the night before. Water bottles for school/nursery, your own lunch stuff etc. Similarly, get the clothes out and ready as a part of the bedtime routine.

Do admin as soon as you get it. When you get handed a party invitation or a letter/email for sports day respond that day and put it on your calendar.

In the house try not to 'double handle'. If you have something in your hand, put it where it goes.

Don't be too hard on yourself with meals and tidying up.

I'm about to top up my freezer with cook meals.

Haven't tried them before but they look healthy and if decent will save cooking.

www.cookfood.net

Thanks, getting the y1 to dress themselves will make a difference. Generally they refuse but maybe a sticker chart 🤔

Getting up earlier would help me, I think. If I can have a cup of tea and do a few of my own bits (vitamins etc) before others get up that would feel better.

Sometimes it’s the water bottle for school, bike lock/sun hat/snack for after school club type things. I have made and laminated checklists and stuck them by the children’s coat pegs.

The admin tip is a good one, doing it then and there would stop it circling around my head repeatedly until it’s actioned or forgotten.

Not being too hard on myself also an excellent suggestion! Thank you.

This is an excellent idea, we did this last year before the start of term and it was such a relief to bung a nice tasty thing in the oven once or twice a week when other plans fell apart. Thank you for reminding me! I love Cook and have rarely had a dud meal.

We’ve been on a bit of an economy drive before a house move next year so shopping in-person at a couple of different supermarkets to cut down the food spend but had a delivery last week and it was much much easier. Might need to go back to that.

I think meals are much easier to get to grips with when you have a supermarket delivery. It saves time overall.

We always have one super cheap meal a week. Like this one. www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/arrabbiata-sauce

And on Friday nights we have supermarket pizza in front of the TV with a family movie. Easy, cheap, no washing up and the dc think it's a treat. It's easier than a takeaway.

I think you and DH just need to own the grind of it. You already work 4 days which lessens pressure anyway.

Meal planning and supermarket deliveries. Just get them as and when you need. I can't always stretch to a week. This really minimises top up shops and saves money, and definitely time in the long run.

Batch cooking... I don't batch cook on a Sunday for example, but I try to cook one meal each week with a portion that will freeze. That way I'm always ahead.

Really really really sort out everything that you need every day. Lunch boxes, water bottles, coat and shoe storage, book bags. Have an easily accessible place for everything that isn't cluttered so that you can grab and go.

Make a time to empty the dishwasher and make packed lunches and stick to it. Whether it's late at night or very early morning, just do it.

As PPs have said. Deal with admin ASAP. Put dates of parties/events/deadlines in your diary straight away.

Engage with your class WhatsApp group. Go to birthday parties and meet other parents.

No TV or devices in the mornings.

A basket of final things that you keep in your downstairs loo if you have one. Wipes, toothbrushes, toothpaste, hairbrush, facecloth, sun cream etc. for the whole family so that no-one has to disappear anywhere to do anything at the last minute.

Consistent locking up routine. For example everybody and everything in the hallway together before anyone goes outside.

Coffee meeting on a Sunday morning with your DH to plan your week together.

No ironing in the mornings. Either things are pre-ironed, or not ironed.

It's hard work but this is the only solution I've found!

We’re going into the same thing this term after I’ve had years as a SAHM, (same work set up pretty much but 3 kids nursery and primary) so not tried and tested yet but here are some things I’ve implemented:

Google calendar shared with DH, each kid has their own colour, can arrange who’s doing what pick up etc.

After school club one day to avoid having to do school run then nursery run an hour later.

All their school lunches are ordered up until half term, and all are in the calendar so we know what they’re having for lunch and can provide a non-duplicate dinner!

Slow cooker on Sunday night, half to eat on Monday and half to put in freezer.

Cold dinner/beans on toast etc on days they have a hot school lunch.

(Tried Hello Fresh but can’t keep up, get a backlog and the waste is stressful!)

Also have scheduled in Sundays for family time and every so often a Friday movie night - kids movie & snacks then kids to bed and grown up movie 😁

Need to schedule in exercise/invorporate into my day or it won’t happen!

Have done a big declutter over summer so less stuff to keep on top of.

What would be ideal would be an afterschool nanny as that would solve all the problems - school pick up, multiple club drop offs, dinners.

Can your DH get a new job with flexible hours so he can leave early one day?

We often do an egg on toast or omelette meal @LittleBrenda, pasta and nice sauce is a good one to add to the repertoire.

Multiple sets of school uniform hung up in wardrobe (e.g. polo shirt/pinafore/school jumper all on one hanger). Hang the right set on the back of DCs door at night ready for the morning.

Breakfast Club everyday so you just need to get uniform on and go.

School Dinners everyday - I book half a terms worth on the app at the start of half term.

Having two drop off each day is hard! Next year it will be easier with one drop off and pick up in the same place when kids are at school.

Defo admin straight away makes a huge difference to clear the headspace. I rate Google calendar, shared with DH and the DC when they are older so everyone knows what is happening and when. Some schools have an online calendar that you can download an ical file straight into your calendar which is fab for being a step ahead of everyone with new dates. Other than that, glance through the weekly newsletter and add all dates and notes, ie non uniform (take £1) or (bottle for the school fair tombola.).

Everything that can be done on a Sunday evening do
Clothes for the week... including your own
Bags packed and by the door with shoes and coats
Breakfast table set before bed
Online shop
Meal plan
Shared calendar with dh that you look at together and divide between you weekly
Fill the car up
Fill water bottles put in fridge
Once you are in the routine it becomes second nature

Some meal ideas:

1. plain cheesy quesadillas (grated cheese inside tortillas cooked with a little oil) with grilled chicken, avocado and sour cream.
2. Make a big batch of tomato sauce that can be used for a plain chicken curry or a pasta or a bolognese.
3. We often do ‘breakfast for dinner’ so sausages, French toast (not sweet), chopped up fruit, avocado some nice yoghurt.
4. Picky food- hummus, pita, chopped up omelette, fruit, some green beans cooked in a little butter and salt, cheese, ham. Lay it all out and let them help themselves.
5. Soup. Easy to make on weekends. Both carrot and ginger and tomato soups are favourites here. Serve with sausages, nice bread with lots of butter, fruit salad as dessert.

Other tips. This one is going to be unpopular. Help the Y1 kid get dressed. It will save time and lower your blood pressure.
Put everything out the night before. Clothes, book bags. Everything.
I find it easier to give the kids jobs not related to getting ready- so they were often quite good at clearing up after breakfast if I had helped them get ready, helped with socks and shoes.

In the evening we had a ‘tidy up time’. They ‘helped’ but they got better at it. I tidied up, cleaned the downstairs. I would hand them things to put away. We often chatted while doing it. So when they went up to bed and I came downstairs it wasn’t a shit tip and my heart didn’t sink.

Oh also Sunday evening, go over the coming week with your partner. Who is doing what, where, when. Shared Google calendar and on the fridge door.
Do life admin (booking in swimming lessons, bills) while watching crap on Netflix.
It’s just relentless routine but it will become second nature.

Oh yes as PP mentioned, we already have downstairs toothbrushes and pastes (in the loo but might move them to the utility), and all the hair stuff is downstairs in the kitchen so I’ll do her hair while she’s having breakfast.

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Thank you for all these great tips!

@ThatsGoingToHurt our breakfast club does not provide breakfast! Such a pain.

Definitely need to get on top of my own outfit planning.

@MangshorJhol there’s definitely something in just dressing DC5 myself but often the prevaricating even when I do is making mornings a bit fraught. I’m going to try incentivising with some rewards and see if we can’t keep things more on track. I’m prepared for it not to work!