Child soiling himself - at my wits end!

[DoeIdea]

I have two boys, one 9, one 6.

The youngest has been having soiling issues for a while now. He's been to the GP a few times who said constipation and gave us laculose which he's taking daily but he's still soiling. I'm trying to get him back in but I'm struggling to get an appointment and tbh the GP hasn't really been helpful.

I'm sitting in the car and can smell he's had an accident and know it's going to be a fight to get him sorted because he just doesn't care and will happily go around in shitty pants. Everything stinks of shit despite washing daily, using bio detergent, using laundry sanitizer.

Timers and sending him to the loo do nothing - he'll "go" to the loo then ten minutes later have an accident. Not sure if he's actually using the loo because he doesn't want me in the bathroom with him.

I'm buying packs of pants every week and it's costing me a fortune. I've never told him off for it - I just clean him up and move on but I honestly didn't expect to still be cleaning his bum at 6yo! He's also started denying having an accident even when it's clear he has had one and it's turning into a fight every time to make sure he's clean and not getting sore.

I'm waiting to hear back from ERIC but I genuinely don't know what else to do. I'm so fed up of it I could genuinely sit and cry.

Poor you and poor him, it does sound like constipation and it's really common so I hope it can be resolved.

On a more practical note, don't throw pants out , soak them in napisan in a bucket with a lid and wash them like you would a reusable nappy.

He's more than likely impacted and needs a full disimpaction regime, carried out in accordance with the NICE guideline.

The soiling is new, soft poo, moving around the blockage of old hard poo and coming out. He’ll have no control over it and, depending on how long it’s been going on, may well have lost some sensation down there anyway.

Go to the GP, be really clear about all this, bring the NICE guideline if you have to. Don’t let yourself be fobbed off. Join Movicol Mummies on Facebook for excellent support and advice.

He's probably not able to feel when he's going/ been hence him being in denial. The above is very good advice.

That sounds awful for all of you 🥺 what happens when he is at school?

https://eric.org.uk/

ERIC is the national charity dedicated to improving children’s bowel and bladder health. Our mission is to reduce the impact of continence problems on children and their families.

They have a free helpline - call them, they are great.

I understand where your coming from at 6 years old he should no when he needs the loo.
And he should be wiping his own backside.
All kids need a little help here and there but knowing him self and not care is over the line.
I couldent imagine the smell i think id bin everything.
Hope it gets better for you.

If this is happening very regularly wouldn't a older child's night pull up be the next move? I believe the are available on the NHS if soiling is a medical issue.

If he truly is doing it because he doesn't care then this might be the kick up the bum he needs to start toileting properly. I'd start using them at home first and see if they make a difference.

If he truly can't help it then they will be for their proper medical use and save your washing etc and he might feel the sensation better in them.

Please, anyone without experience in this, please stop saying he’s doing it on purpose. He has what can become a serious medical issue and needs help, pronto.

Hi. My son has this at 6. After being insistent with the GP he was referred to a paediatrician and diagnosed with megacolon and impaction. He was treated with piccolax for a week which cleared him out and then lactose and senna to keep him regular. We had to get him a squatty potty to help him get control of his bowels again. It was cleared up in about a month was we got the treatment

Compaction makes them numb down below, so they can’t feel themselves soiling. You need to work on his diet. Plenty of fruit and vegetables, less beige food. Have you tried tummy gummies? novomins.com/products/kids-probiotic-gummies?variant=43484555018486&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=PMAX%20%7C%20Public%20Nectar%20Shopping&utm_content=&tw_source=google&tw_adid=&tw_campaign=16605957105&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAC8os3xHMMn1cr8K3cd0SpGdM3O64&gclid=CjwKCAjw8rW2BhAgEiwAoRO5rGaV_GsC5ZNdiVEAEmvOpp4CMVFUTfG__Hhm_C7O7Ffsf6EzyIOg5hoCZasQAvD_BwE

He doesn't care about sitting in soiled pants but he's not having accidents deliberately.

Will push for an appointment in the morning, thank you.

Pants have been soaking in napisan but unfortunately still smell and they make my washer smell if I wash them. (I've also tried simple solution, bio power, disinfectant, laundry sanitizer and probably more but the smell lingers)

We don't really eat "beige food" because I need to avoid gluten. I tend to cook from scratch and it's usually stuff with veg in it. (Doing pasta bake tonight with hidden veg sauce, for example)

Try “Sports Wash” for washing the pants. It breaks down odours and works really well.

I could've written this post myself, my son is also 6. Good luck.

Could he have an issue with gluten too?

For the smelly pants, look up Clean Cloth Nappies - there's a website and a Facebook group. It's scientifically trialled laundry advice.

If he’s impacted, he’s gone way beyond dietary fixes and needs medical disimpaction.

My son is 7 and similar, though in the last year he has started caring more and is acutely aware of letting us down in a way he wasn't a year ago.

I recently spoke to a GP friend of mine who gave similar advice about focusing on clearing out through diet then hoping it rights itself. She also advised a poo diary, which boy is in charge of - I think him being involved helps.

Are all the DC mentioned here boys? Interested if it's a male thing

My DD suffered chronic constipation until she was 10. Sounds like he’s impacted and experiencing leaking. Go back to gp and ask for Movicol - it’s prescription only and the best thing. Either that or a suppository.

A health visitor may also be able to help. I found that they knew more than the gps.

Hopefully, it’s a one-off episode.

BTW, he won’t be able to help the soiling as it’s literally seeping out.

Look up interoception.

My son is autistic and has this. Never been constipated, but had no idea when he needs to go. Can't feel his tummy. He is 8 now and still has accidents.

Can't tell when he is hungry, thirsty or needs a wee either until it is extreme.

My daughter had this for years. She’s autistic and gets constipated when stressed (which is all the time). As PP have already said he has probably lost sensation so it’s really not his fault. Can you get a referral to a continence nurse? We eventually got a paediatrician referral. She was fantastic in explaining everything in a child friendly way. You need a loooong course of Movicol and patience. It’s a distant memory for us now but we need laxatives for any change in routine e.g. holidays and school trips.

I had this as a kid/teen and it was horrible. Got diagnosed with coeliac disease in my 20s which may or may not have been connected but I mention it as you avoid gluten and constipation is a common symptom acknowledged by coeliac UK but often not acknowledged by GPs so I'd request a test if I was you just in case. Don't take gluten out of his diet until he's been tested though/make sure he's eating enough if you eat gluten free as a family or else the test won't work.

Fingers crossed you find a solution and he's lucky to have a mummy like you that is getting him the help he needs.

Adding our experience to this. Autistic DD had the same until about 12/13 years old.