I’m anxious about birth and can’t make a decision

[birthchoices]

I have done a hypnobirthing course but feel none the wiser, really. I don’t know how realistic it is to expect birth won’t hurt. I know that it bloody will!!! I am so indecisive about how to give birth. This is my first baby, and possibly only baby.

I know I’m not going to feel ‘relaxed’ at hospital, and being relaxed and feeling in control is key. Due to past experience hospitals cause me stress. I’ve had an anxious pregnancy due to a previous loss and want to just make sure myself and baby are ok.

I would love to stay at home but feel worried about the prospect of being an ambulance ride away from hospital, and the difference that could make for mine and my baby’s health. I can imagine every second and minute counts in some situations.

I am totally stuck between either trying for a no-interventions, vaginal delivery and hope it goes smoothly. I would aim to be in the birth centre at the hospital for this, better if access to a pool, OR just cutting all that out and opting for an ELCS. Yes it is major surgery with long recovery times but nearly 40% of births last month in my trust were emergency sections, so it seems fairly likely that a caesarean is the outcome anyway even if I don’t plan for one. At least if it’s planned I can prepare myself for it and pretty much know what to expect, as painful as the recovery may be. I would find a last minute emergency situation really stressful.

No decision feels “right” at the moment and I wish I had a crystal ball! I do know 5 people who have given birth at the hospital recently, ages 23-35. One was an induction leading to traumatic delivery, two were emergency sections after failing to progress, one was a vaginal birth that needed an episiotomy and the other was a relatively quick vaginal birth that culminated in a really bad tear requiring stitches in surgery. The final one reports feeling worse than the people who had sections. To contrast, my sister had a planned caesarean and was out of hospital within 24 hours and back to usual walks and shopping a week later.

Did anyone else feel this way and what did you choose?

I'm in the exact same position regarding considering asking for a c section. I personally would never consider a home birth as i know i would want at least an epidural if i did give birth vaginally. I'm terrified of giving birth. I thought it would get better but it gets worse the closer the due date . When it's discussed in nct i want to cry and cover my ears!

The only people i know who have had okay births had elective c sections, although the recovery has been had.

I think if i asked for a c section and the hospital pushed back I'd likely end up giving into a vagina birth as I'm not good at advocating for myself.

Sorry no advice but posting in solidarity! I have to discuss my birth plan this week with the midwife!

have you been to proper antenatal classes? My experience with hypnobirthing is that it was very biased towards vaginal births. Maybe best to discuss with your midwife as well. I’ve been reading a book by Midwife Pip which is really good.

I was in this exact situation, went on a hypnobirthing course and tried really hard to get into it with a water birth in mind. Then did a complete 180 and opted for an elective C-section, and it was absolutely the right decision for me. I had so much anxiety about birth and particularly the unpredictable nature of it. Knowing exactly what was going to happen and when really helped me to relax and enjoy the experience. It was the perfect birth for me, and I didn't find the recovery too bad either, because I'd prepared myself for it and knew what to expect. Good luck with it all, I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.