A couple of years ago, my boyfriend and I were on a break but still seeing and sleeping with each other, and I became pregnant whilst on contraception. We were 22.
I already had a three year old from a previous relationship, was at university and in a rough financial decision so was devastated and did not want a baby.
Boyfriend was at a friend's house and I called him to tell him the news. He said "so are you going to do what we agreed?" referring to an abortion. I reminded him that I had always said I would need to find out how far along I was first, as if I was past a certain gestation then I wasn't sure I'd be able to go through with it. I was on contraception and therefore not having periods, so I couldn't date the pregnancy that way, I'd need a scan.
The next day he came over and sat down and said "I am sorry, I am going to abandon you and this baby. You will be on your own" I got very upset, and shouted a lot, which I regret. He left about five minutes after arriving. I had never said I wanted to keep it.
I said I would tell his mum, but he called her himself as he was leaving.
Later that day, our mum's spoke on the phone, and she said "well boyfriend doesn't want a baby, and he doesn't want to be with nylambe. He hasn't for weeks." But this wasn't true, I had asked and he wanted to get back together.
His whole family blocked me, so they weren't contactable. I didn't hear anything for weeks.
I found out how far along I was, it was still relatively early.
After 3-4 weeks I heard from boyfriend for the first time, as he wanted to know what decision I had made. I said he had forfeited his right to know, he disagreed.
He admitted that after discussion with his family, they'd decided that the best course of action was to cut me off so that I felt I had no choice but to terminate, as I wouldn't have the involvement of the father's family. And that he actually had no intention of "abandoning" me at all.
During this time, I tried to access a termination but after the counselling consultation with the organisation, they weren't happy to provide me with an abortion as they felt I was being coerced. So I had to try another organisation, but they weren't covered by the NHS in my area so I'd have to pay.
I ended up miscarrying at home anyway. It was traumatic as I saw the baby after it had come out. I then had infections after and needed hospital treatment.
To cut a king story short, boyfriend and I are now back together. He has apologised profusely and completely acknowledges he was the perpetrator, and feels remorseful. He said he freaked out, and handled it all wrong.
I love him and I've forgiven him, and accepted his apology.
Neither of our families know we're back together. I wanted to tell my parents, but he asked me not to as he didn't want it to get back to his. He wants to wait a little longer, until we're more established.
He says he knows his parents won't react well, and it's a point of anxiety for him. He eventually wants for me to have a good relationship with his family.
Unfortunately I still hold resentment towards the situation, but nothing I can't work through.
Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate this please? And how I can repair things with them? I think they will be very disappointed/worried when they find out we are back together.