BAME Name pronunciation

[ComeOnLet]

We are Indian. DS has a name that often suffers from an anglicised pronunciation. It doesn't upset him at all. One day in school he decides to tell some friends how his name is actually pronounced.

DS tells me that one girl he's friend with makes an honest attempt at calling DS by his actual name pronunciation (she gets about 80% of the way there) but that she seems to smile and laugh when trying to say his name.

Would you consider this a bit rude? As she she'll call DS by his actual name and have a smile on her face about how she's pronounced it.

Maybe I'm over thinking.

Yep - DS should trust his gut. Our bodies communicate and pick up more than our brains can understand cognitively.

It probably is funny to her because she's always called him by one pronunciation and he's waited until 6th form to explain it's another. It will seem funny. I changed my name to a different one at a similar age and got a similar reaction but people made the effort as they are with your son. I don't think it's rude, it's just a natural response to feeling unfamiliar with something.

I don't disagree. I was using that example to illustrate precisely this point.
Many people who consider themselves literate, worldly, highly educated, whatever can pronounce Tchaikovsky , Schwarzenegger, <insert famous but complicated name here>. They don't see these as 'foreign' names, consider mispronunciations embarrassing/sign of low social status. Yet they cannot be bothered with other names, usually those of ethnic minorities.
Those people are racist.

However, as you said (and as I elaborated on at length in a later post) many sounds don't come naturally in certain languages. This isn't a 'BAME' problem, not all white people are English. Many people can't pronounce Irish names let alone Polish, Swedish, etc etc.

As with everything identity politics, things have gone too far. We even had HR trainings at work on how mispronouncing names are a 'microaggression', in every circumstances, with zero room for nuance. There's a difference between genuinely trying (and failing). And just CBA.

I have a 'foreign' name. It's genuinely unpronounceable for most native English speakers because it has a sound/letter pattern that does not exist in English.

I would have assumed that the girl is a bit embarrassed that she's struggling to pronounce it and the smile/laugh is a reflection of that as well as an attempt at bonding with your DS in the sense that she's trying to say 'look, I can't do it but I'm still trying, because I care enough to try'. That's how I'd generally interpret this type of behaviour.

Right so Chinese colleagues, or Indian colleagues, who can't say common use English names, what then? They're on a disciplinary?

Is it not up to the OP how she wants to describe herself then?

She’s embarrassed. You’re overthinking.

Don't you feel embarrassed calling yourself BAME? It's one thing being labelled by others but why label yourself?

Maybe the way it is actually pronounced conjures up something else in her mind that makes her smile.

Depends upon what the name is, willing to share?

The name English surname Bond makes me smile every time as it sounds like a word in my mother tongue for arshol, the actual h*le!

The name Linda sounds like the word meaning a thin bit of p**, when you don't have a decent one.

Conversely, if I hear the common Indian name Hardik - my western mind makes me smile.
Sukhdeep, common name in my culture but makes me giggle every time.

If you’ve been saying a name, or any word for that matter, incorrectly for a while it can take a long time to automatically get it right. Your brain/mouth is so used to saying it one way.At least she’s trying!

I don't think it's rude at all that she makes a genuine attempt to call DS by his actual name.

What I'm asking about on here is that is she according to DS she laughs and smiles after saying his name. DS said she genuinely seems to enjoy saying his name and the first time she tried saying it she was laughing a lot.

Maybe I'm overthinking but I'd hope it's not because she's thinking "what a funny name it's so funny to say it".

I think you are overthinking it. You’ll never know why someone laughs.