Favouritism and managers friends.

[Workingmama94]

Hi, so I am a TL who moved to my current department over a year ago. I became friends with my manager and the other TLs who happened to be her friends and 1 was her roommate.

We had another TL move over a few months ago and 2 months later there was a business demand to move a TL she obvs didn’t want her friends moved and told her boss this and I was going through domestic abuse at the time so she couldn’t really move me. So the new TL was moved again.

I was on annual leave on Thursday and returned to work and she called me bang on 9am and told me I was being moved departments and I broke down in tears as my current department I can have my 2 year old with me whereas the new one I can’t and I’m only entitled to 15 hours free childcare a week and I work 40 hours with no help from anyone. This kind of also meant I may need to ask his dad to live with us to support and his the one who was treating me awfully. My managers response was “talk to me” I told her it’s shit and kept crying and she then told me she had said to her boss “don’t worry amber is a grown woman she will understand” and I felt like that was her trying to manipulate how I should feel. I already had said to my friends before that if push comes to shove and someone has to move ofc it would be me as she would back her friends although she was trying to tell me she had to tell her boss to make the decision as she didn’t want to. I just feel like the decision has been made unfairly based on personal friendships and I’ve been there longer than her roommate too and it’s also put me in a poor situation. I have been in meetings with our HR department and have seen how they speak of people or even managers that raise grievances against higher management and how all the info goes back to higher management. I’m just not sure what my rights are here as this is favouritism and nepotism. Bearing in mind I came in on the Friday and was told I’m moving on the Tuesday. I did log off for the whole day after that as I went through severe post natal and the abuse I went through I am really triggered by stuff like this and change and knowing I was picked because her real friends would obvs be untouchable.

Why is it you can have your DC with you in your current department but not the one you're being moved to? Just trying to understand what's going on here. Do the other TLs have DC with them in the workplace?

I work from home. My current department allows it as it’s all digital work whereas the next department revolves around calls etc

But that all aside I can still get some support from his dad. My issue is now the pick was based of friendships and favouritism. Is this something I can take to tribunal?

You are jumping the gun a bit to talk about taking it to a tribunal
And I don’t really see any grounds
Maybe speak to HR ,or raise a grievance

I wouldn't do that - not unless you have another job lined up. Calling 'favouritism' without proof is going to have an impact on you.

Could you speak to your manager and ask specifically about options for you that would work with your personal circumstances?

I don't think you can utilise your health/mental conditions against this move without somebody in the company wondering whether you're fit to work at all.

Are there other jobs in the company you could move to, ones with agile or preferably home-working?

I understand however the one TL she hasn’t moved is her personal friend/roommate/landlord and the other is her friend of years hence why I’m saying it’s favouritism. There is currently a grievance ongoing against my manager regarding favouritism towards her roommate and has been mentioned by other team leaders who have worked within my current department. It’s common knowledge they are friends and it’s a clique.

I would consider my HR department but I’ve seen them literally go to my manager about things that should be confidential.

HR are part of the management structure
Never assume anything you tell them is confidential

When I logged off upset, I began getting messages from my team saying they’re sorry I’m no longer their TL so she went and just announced it when I had told her I would.

I then had another TL (her friend of a while) msg me saying “heard they’re evicting you like the big brother house 💔” these people are so certain it won’t be them because she would never move them.

What's a TL?

Thank God someone asked!

I had to give up reading because I have literally no idea.

TL - Team Leader.

Team leader

On what basis would you take them to tribunal? Have you followed the internal processes first?

The AskAManager column and website has good advice for work situations like this

So you're "working" but actually looking after your child? No wonder they're moving you

If you’re being moved to a role with materially different terms and conditions then you should go through a consultation process.

Its unusual for an employer to accept you being fully responsible for a child while working, but if that’s formally the case then moving to a role where you can’t would be seen as a significant change. If it’s discretionary then you’re much more limited.

Explaining to your manager and HR that you can’t move on Monday because you haven’t got childcare, and are unlikely to get it for several months because of waiting lists.