GCSEs - a thread for those whose DC didn't exactly work their socks off

[Woofwoofwoofgoesthewolfhound]

Lots of the posts I've read so far seem to be about celebrating the achievements of students who have either a) worked very hard and achieved brilliant results or b) worked very hard against the odds (MH, SEND, illness).

How about a thread for the parents of teens who quite frankly didn't exactly exert themselves and whose results reflect that?

DS has done OK. And I've made a big fuss and said all the right things about being proud of him. But inside I can't help thinking 'you lazy fucker you could have done so much better if you hadn't have left revision until a week before the exams!"

I don't think the rise in articles about "I got no GCSEs and have ended in in this amazing job" helps those who are inclined to work
Combine that with the lack of approval of academic success (look at the thread where multiple people won't share results so not to look like they're showing off/upset others who didn't do as well) and there are a good group of kids who can do well enough without working but see no incentive to work harder.

There's also the situation that teachers are overstretched so they have to choose where to push, and naturally will choose the ones for whom pushing will go from fail to pass not the one who can doddle through on a 5, but should be getting a 7 and could get an 8.

Just popping on to say this was me 12 months ago.....
Scraped into 6 form... Not where he wanted to go with some subjects he wasn't keen on....
Anyway after a really rubbish last 12 months we are in a MUCH better place. He hated sixth form but loved the CAD drawing part of his DT a level. Crap attendence and managed till easter and then dropped out. Since then he's been doing an engineering apprenticeship. At work every morning at 7:30am . He has matured massively and in hindsight it was the best for him. He's got money in the bank and has started to get a social life and is much more confident.

When people say "things work out for the best eventually" I used to think it was bullshit.... I'm now slightly more believing.

I've got this. Ds2 only makes minimal effort. Not that interested in anything really. Likes football but has been told by me that he's not going to walk into a top job at one of the premier teams! Even a nhs physio is quite a soul destroying job I think having send lot of them over the years. Not quite sure what I'm going to do with him or how to encourage / incentivise him.

This will likely be my ds next year. Hes dyslexic and maybe has very mild sensory issues but too mild for diagnosis. He did a few gcse exams this year and is not great at exams. He has d
one well in his ICT course work and predicted a B for that. As for the rest, they'll be a challenge but if he can get a few Cs I'll be happy. He wants to do an ICT type course. Id like him to be able to do the advanced level but he needs to get another 4 Cs.

This was my DS three years ago - and with the time gone by he will now openly admit it too. Good (and good enough for the A levels he wanted to do) but could have been better. Interestingly he did knuckle down for A levels and worked hard, I wish I knew what made the difference although I suspect deep down he knew he didn’t work hard enough at GCSE.

This was ds1 2 years ago. He's a bright lad but really couldn’t be bothered to revise and decided very late which level 3 BTec he wanted to take so there were no places left. He did a 1 year level 2 course instead which I was really disappointed about but turned out to be a great step. He grew up a lot and passed his driving test which meant that he could apply to do the level 3 as an apprenticeship. He’s just finished the first year and is absolutely loving it. 1 day a week in college, the other 4 at work. Earning a decent wage (£20k !) and he’s got a pension. He’s like a different kid (albeit an 18 year old one!) and I couldn’t be happier for him.

My son is disappointed and said himself that it as down to him and didn't revise hard enough. Just a four in English language, English lit and science.
He was set to get a 5 in history and a 4 in geography going by his mocks.
I paid for a mths tutor over the Easter term and he managed to get his maths from a 2 to a 3 so good for him.
Plubing level 2 here he comes. New start.

My DS was disappointed with his results. He does have severe dyslexia and other SEN so I was just pleased he got a 4 in Maths and English as that looked
doubtful for a long time.

It’s a lesson to DS that hard work is needed to get the results he knows he capable of.

My friend’s son did a BTEC in engineering alongside an A level in maths and is off to a R group uni.

my DS is off to uni with computer science asa second a level. The teaching for physics was so dire for GCSE, we didn’t think it was worth him taking it.

I have one a bit like that. He passed 7 exams with a mix of 4 and 5s. But is capable of a lot more. I was pleased though as those results weren’t guaranteed!

He is going to his school sixth form to do A levels. I’m not sure it’s the right thing but it’s what he wants to do so I’ll support him.

If it doesn’t work out, he can leave at the end of year 12 and go to college.

School was hard for him socially but the last 18 months or so have been so much better for him and I think that’s the main reason he wants to stay at sixth from. I’m hoping that the slightly different feel to sixth form means he will actually put a bit of effort in……

It’s interesting how so many of you are talking about boys. I’d put money on most of them loving primary school and doing well. Something seems to go wrong for some kids when they get to high school. I’m not blaming the teachers at all (I am one)

Having said that, with obvious exceptions, children get the results they deserve, as some are now discovering!

Most of them turn out ok in the end.

@Apolloneuro Covid was what really seemed to knock ds1 off course.

Prior to that he was fully engaged and involved in a lot of extra curricular things on offer at school- mostly in the sports and music depts.

When we went into lockdown his school was very slow to get online work and lessons up and running. He was in year 9 and was allowed to disregard any work and lessons for subjects that he wasn’t taking at GCSE and they quickly picked up that there were no consequences for not fully engaging with the work and lessons that they were carrying on with as long as he turned up sometimes and had a go at the work there just weren’t the resources to pull him up.

When school finally resumed, he carried on with the ‘just enough’ approach and never resumed his extracurricular activities. Particularly once he realised he could only get into the level 2 BTec and only needed 5 GCSEs at C or above there was very little motivation to really work hard for his exams. Even with the little that he did, he got 2A*, 3A and 3B which he was more than happy with!

I’ll always wonder how things might have panned out without the lockdowns but he’s happy, healthy and thriving in his apprenticeship which is fantastic to see.

This has been both of my DC. Whenever I get frustrated that they are not reaching "their potential" (whatever that is when they're not prepared to put any effort in!), I remind myself I can't be annoyed with them for basically being me aged 16!

DM used to work as a tutor and an advisor for the Open University. She says it wasn’t uncommon for men to say they didn’t bother at school because they only cared about football and girls. When they grew up a bit, it was a different matter.