‘She has a meltdown in Asda’

[ViaRia01]

Not sure where to post this, hopefully chat will be fine.

I was under the impression that the term meltdown (in child’s behaviour) referred to something specific in children with ASD. However I hear people say it about their children all the time, including one of my friends who is a very experienced speech and language therapist, working with children.

I know lots of people use it, so if you’re one of them, I’m not having a pop at you! I’m just wondering whether anyone else has the same understanding as me, can anyone confirm if I’m write about the true meaning of the phrase? I just feel uncomfortable using that term, eg about my NT children, but I’m now wondering if I’m overthinking it?

It used to be called a tantrum now it's meltdown

*^^ title should be “she HAD a meltdown…”, not that it matters too much but just clarifying in case anyone finds it confusing

It’s not a technical term, so yeah you are overthinking

I think a meltdown refers to that complete loss of control that they have. Happens to them all, NT or not. Obviously for kids with ASD they may have more triggers and the meltdowns may continue past the typical age, but the two year old screaming in the aisle of Asda because they're hot and tired and they've been told "no" is still having a meltdown!

I used meltdown way before I had any understanding of ASD meltdowns. I think both are relevant.
IMO it means overwhelming emotions that cause an unwanted reaction - that can be true for ND & NT individuals.

Totally overthinking

It's not specifically related to neurodiversity or nuclear reactors.

Tbh the usage of it for a non ND person was way it was used when I was growing up, the dictionary has it as an uncontrolled emotional outburst or a mental collapse. Using it in a more medical sense in relation to ASD is a newer thing for me.

There is no 'true meaning' of the phrase. It's developed over time. I don't think any community can claim ownership of it. An autistic meltdown is different to a toddler tantrum (or meltdown) but the term can be, and is, used to describe both.

If you don't feel comfortable using it, then don't. No-one has a gun to your head!

Personally I find it varies with different dialects, some areas use it more than others.

From google

Hmm ok, interesting and useful comments. Plus, as usual, one or two snarky ones too! Thanks to everyone who replied. I’m pleased to hear I’m wrong about it though.

Now I’m wondering whether a meltdown is the same as a tantrum.

Now I’m wondering whether a meltdown is the same as a tantrum.

Probably used interchangeably but for me a tantrum is more of a huff and a meltdown is when it all gets a bit much and they're beyond reason.

A meltdown is a meltdown, which is why it's qualified with 'autistic meltdown', etc to let you know what may have triggered it or what kind of meltdown it is.

It's become more widely used due to the awareness of ND but it's still just a meltdown.

A tantrum is different but many people use it interchangeably.

A tantrum is typically because of something the child wants and can be made worse by hunger or being tired.

A meltdown is simply emotional overstimulation or being overwhelmed and the reaction differs. Some shut down, some are more physically full on.

in non-asd terms

A tantrum will usually resolve if the child is given the thing they want.

A meltdown generally doesn't, and will continue until they can calm down/get a hold of themselves.

@Nowordsformethanks thank you. Yes this makes a lot more sense now and I understand better how this may relate to someone with ASD.
Thank you for explaining it to me without making me feel stupid for asking

I say I have a meltdown sometimes when I go crazy with being so overwhelmed 😂😂 I am nd but I don't think that makes a difference I see it as behaviour caused by an overstimulation/big emotions

Now I’m wondering whether a meltdown is the same as a tantrum.

Tantrum implies deliberately bad behaviour, or 'brattish' behaviour, whereas meltdown is deemed more involuntary and therefore more sympathetically.

Some women use it all the time for the most trivial of annoyances at work. Its just another modern meaningless phrase of which MN is already full.

As someone who watched The China Syndrome at an impressionable age, I can't help but associate the term with nuclear reactors.😂

💐

I've always known the difference as a tantrum is when a child would stop the behaviour if there was given whatever they are wanting and would be able to calm down . And a meltdown is if its past that point and it wouldn't make a difference , so even if they had their situation that caused it changed it wouldnt change them having a meltdown, I have autistic child so do use both depending on situation , I personally think parents prefer meltdown as it implys it isn't child's fault and noone want to see their children as having tantrum as it it's negative . When reality it's just a child's development. And it's why some of the comments are so triggered.

I think it’s about control.

If they’ve lost control it’s a meltdown.

If they have control but are being loud etc to promote a specific response, then it’s a tantrum.

I think ND and NT people can experience both, but neuro-diverse people may be more at risk of meltdowns because of the way they experience and their surroundings.

A tantrum can usually be stopped by offering and giving what they want. It's often started by not being happy with what is being said but there is control (at least at the beginning!)

A meltdown is an overwhelming sense of uncontrolled emotion that can't be stopped by offering even a perfect solution at the time.

That's how I see it.

So I think it's perfectly possibly for children and even NT adults to have meltdowns at times. We are human.

And I say that as a parent of an autistic child.

i think the best example of a tantrum was the video years ago of the 3yo following mom around a house that had circular access, and the minute they saw mom, they'd start crying/screaming/laying on the floor like their heart was breaking, but the moment mom moved out of eyesight, they stopped, stood up, followed where mom went, and then dropped and cried soon as they saw mom again.

I think you're overthinking it, because it's.jjst a description of a behaviour.

But I do think it gets over used. My friend says "she had a meltdown" about her DD and what she means is that she had a bit of a cry. I would only use it for where my DD has lost the ability to control herself, can't speak, can't stop crying, maybe has moved into the screaming kind of crying. Doesn't happen very often but it does, she's a toddler.