Are scars an issue in dating

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I have been with my SO for nearly 10 years. In that time he has cheated on me on several occasions, and on one occasion that resulted in a full blown affair, telling her he loved her and ultimately having a child with her. I have found this out recently, and myself have a child with him, a beautiful baby girl who is almost 10 months old. I am scared to stay with him and also scared to leave. Aside from the obvious worries regarding finances etc, I have multiple self harm scars, on my leg and arm, and a c section scar. All have occurred during our time together. I am afraid that no one will ever find me attractive again and that I will be alone forever if I cannot find a way to forgive him. I cannot afford treatment for any of these scars, and they are all significant. I am aware that for the most part it is my own fault for self harming. I have not self harmed since I became pregnant, but the damage was already done.

I am wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and if having scars has prevented you from moving on from a relationship or finding someone else. I am terrified of the thought of facing my future entirely alone because of my situation and the way that I look.

Kindly, your scars are the least of your worries. You're living with a man who has serially been unfaithful to you. Don't you think you deserve better?? You do.

Please find the strength to leave him. I bet you'll be much happier when you do.

I don’t think they would be an issue no.

Your priority is to build a life without that man!!!

I am covered in self harm scars.
My DP has seen them all, and does not give them a second thought. But we did meet at a mental health support group, so he has some empathy and understanding about it anyway.

I would notice sh scars if the person showed that part of their body, but I wouldn't bring it up unless I felt really comfortable and I felt it would be sensitive. Otherwise if they wanted to tell me then that's up to them. It wouldn't put me off.
I have a few minor ones. My DH has absolutely loads. As for accidental scars or medical scars, most people have at least one of either of those!

They will be noticed for sure, and at some point your partner will want to understand probably. So that they know you properly, but, and I say this with love, your priority should be ridding yourself of this person who damaged you so much emotionally that this was one of the results. Please listen to yourself and your body and your baby and know that the only bad thing going on here is HIM. LTB

You need to get this man out of your life; you can't possibly forgive him having a baby with another woman.

Bio oil is meant to be good for scars. However, once you find the right person, they won't care or notice your scars. Don't let that put you off.

One thing you will find is that a potential partners response to your scars will be such a good sign of whether they are a good person to start a relationship with.

Also, please dont rush into a new relationship, right now is the time to get plenty of time and learn to enjoy and thrive by yourself

I read something the other day, your scars demonstrate that you are a survivor! Anyone who judges you for them isn't worthy of your time

I have hundreds of SH scars. My husband of 13 years loves me. All of me. You deserve to feel loved too. And your child needs a happy, healthy mother who models good relationships and self-love.

The kind of man who wouldn't want to date you because of scars isn't the kind of man what you want to be with anyway.

Please don't make yourself forgive cheating and having a child with someone else over a fear of being alone. Show your child what self respect and putting yourself first looks like

How do you feel about tattoos? Even really obvious scars can be covered if you find a good tattoo artist. You can ask for experience of covering self harm scars.

Sorry he put you through all that

It wouldn't be something that would bother me op. Firstly I love my c section scar, it's my wee reminder of bringing ds into the world. If someone had self harm scars it wouldn't be off putting at all but I'd hope they'd be in a better place in themselves to be dating if that makes sense.

It sounds like this guy is utterly, utterly toxic and abusive and there is no way that your self esteem and self worth will have a chance to improve while you're with him. Being around someone like that will always make you feel like less than you really are. Scars are just signs of a journey, that you're strong and that you have overcome.

My love, one day when you are free of this b*stRd of a so-called partner, you will find someone kind & gentle who will love you and kiss your scars with love.