Argh, when the kids drop you in it

[TheVeryAngryCaterpillar]

Over at my stepmum's house, with the kids happily playing and she and I chatting over a cuppa, my youngest pipes up "Mum, why did you say that SM isn't
part of our family?"

I have not, nor would I ever, say that DSM isn't in our family. She's helped us so much with all manner of things, I've known her since I was a young teen, she is a beloved grandmother to the kids and absolutely part of our family, and since my DDad passed away we actually see more of her than we did when we had them both.

I may have at some point tried to explain to DD the differences in how everyone in our family is related by birth or marriage when learning about family trees, but whatever I said, it wasn't that!

Then I tried to make things better by struggling to explain how I'd never said it and it she might be thinking of the term blood relation which just made it worse...like "oh but of course SM isn't our blood relative"...poor SM. To top it off she'd made the kids a bloody early birthday cake with beautiful rainbow icing.

Fml, thanks a bunch. Please tell me I'm not the only one whose child (falsely!) shames them to their nearest and dearest.

If I could upvote this 100 times!

My daughter told the person who runs her performing arts group “My mummy made me a dress for this weekend. It is just like a princess. Yes, she makes lots of my clothes”.

The teacher stored that information away very well until the run up of the next show!

I'm booked for an induction today, and we haven't told anyone except close family. My MiL is taking my two older girls to meet with their friends, while I'm in the hospital (to keep their usual routine as much as possible) and it's guaranteed that everyone will know by about 1pm today 😅

My girls also let everyone know I was pregnant, after we told them, also when we were moving house, anything about periods or illnesses that I might not want to share. We call it the "kidvine" now 😅

We were visiting a castle when my son was four and it was quite dark and gloomy. There was a very old lady in a wheel chair and when we walked past her my son touched her arm and said "Mummy is this is a real ghost?"

I’d forgotten the big ears stage. Lucky if they’d tell me the house was on fire these days. driving to Orkney (so a million miles and a ferry) after a stressful time at work, worry about a pregnancy and then the death of a close friend the day we left so was a really stressful drive I ended up doing myself with just the kids in the car. Meeting my parents there who I was a bit snappy with because of all of the above. We got past it and they had a lovely time that evening with the kids while I tried to get my head straight. Next morning my toddler called my lovely mum “bloody old bitch” in what was clearly my voice. Which is what I’d muttered about a neighbour who had tapped on the car window to ask what I was doing when I was clearly taking a call, car packed ready to go, but speaking to my friends bereft parents and the neighbour just wouldn’t leave, kept asking if we were of going sit there all day even though we were parked legally and engine off.

explained all that but in context it sounded more like I’d called my mum an old bitch the previous day. How do they also somehow imitate your voice too

Howling at this. Did anyone else overhear?

Ha, kids are the worst 🤣. I think I might send her a card.

Just the people we were with and the old lady in question!

A friend of mine gave my 2 dc Christmas presents and after a while I did a clear out and took these to the charity shop. About a week later we bumped into my friend and my youngest said "Mummy, isn't this the friend who gave us the presents you took to the charity shop?"

I was cringing so much. My friend doesn't have children so probably less aware how quickly kids grow out of things and how much clutter accumulates!

My youngest (not that young -15!) is terrible for this - we are about to start looking for an ASD assessment for him though.

We just can't help himself, and doesn't think of the consequences. I don't think he would say anything that's particularly mean, I'd hope he'd know not to, but he does have a habit of blurting out conversations we've had at home etc.

I now think very carefully about what I say around him!

When we were having our house renovated, my son (aged about 7 at the time) said to one of the builders: ‘Excuse me, my Mum said she thinks you’re gorgeous’. 😬 (He had earwigged on the conversation I’d had with a friend the day before.) So embarrassing!

When DS was about 4, a chap passed us on the street, wearing an eye patch. About 2 steps later, I hear

'Mum, that man looked just like a PIRATE!'

A very good friend of mine used to live down the road to me

She was 'nanna Julie' to the kids

Anyway,where she lived was a confusing area-it was an estate that had been added to over the years and nobody had stopped to think about how best to build the
houses,they just plonked them down-so I kept getting us lost

One day,we where walking down when my youngest (aged about 6) suddenly said 'it's this way mum' and started to lead us

As we walked down and was in sight of the house,I said (as a joke) 'oh sweetheart,did you know the way because your like a dog-you used your nose to sniff out nanna Julie's house?!'

We got there,knocked and as soon as the poor woman answered,dd comes out with 'nanna Julie,my mum says your house stinks!'

Thanks for that kidda-I did not say that...

I overheard a wonderful one in the supermarket. An exasperated mother who, given the time, must have just picked her young daughter up from school, was saying 'For goodness sake Emma, you have never been left on your own in a speeding car - stop saying it to your teacher'.

Kids make comments and sometimes the way they interpret things and then communicate isn’t how we intended… I would have a chat with her about the context and am sure she will understand!

I have a stepmum/ step family who as an adult I just see as another mum/ extended family but I remember my daughter asking me (when she was very little) if nanny and grandad knew each other as she didn’t see them together… this went on for some time! And she once asked my dad (in front of my stepmum) if he had ever met her nanny 🤣

My Son said in front of teacher. "You chuck me about" .He meant at the swimming pool ,throwing him into the air a bit.

Years ago my mam and dad used to take their 3 grandchildren (all under 10) for a day out to give my SIL a break. They were driving back one day when my dad had to slam on the break and said out loud "for fucks sake" - obviously it wasn't his fault lol. My mam hit his knee to shut him up and none of the kids said anything UNTIL they got home and one of the kids said to their own mam "Grandad said for fucks sake" and hung him out to dry 😂

😂😂😂

Where I grew up there was a street that was a notorious red light district - South Side Road

My mum was a care assistant working 10pm-6am and got temporarily transferred to a home just off this notorious street. Because of the inconvenience and extra travel, she was getting a couple of extra quid an hour.

I went into school and told me teacher that my mum had started working nights on South Side Road and was enjoying it because it was a lot more money than her old job

🫠 🤭 😬

Words were had.

That's hilarious 😂

It's part of DH's family lore that once they were having a big gathering of family and friends, and DH's cousin aged about 10 went up to one of the guests and said 'DH's dad thinks you're a bit of a prick!' (FIL had said this earlier). Cousin got into a shedload of trouble and I hope FIL learned a valuable lesson about badmouthing people in front of children! I know he was horribly embarrassed.

That's the best one yet 🤣

I'm the type of person that will never ever fart in front of my husband or children or anyone! Never ever ever, would rather die of tummy ache. And if the kids do it I'm there telling them off. One day I was in Home Bargains with my daughter, she was about 6 and I accidentally let one out, a loud one at that. She heard it and was horrified, wouldn't stop going on about it until I had to be cross with her and tell her to stop. The next day we went to a family gathering and the little brat waited until everyone was in the room and had their complete attention before announcing 'Mummy farted really loudly in Home Bargains yesterday!' I have never forgiven her 🙈😂😂

This is partly my fault for trying to scare the kids off really crappy hotdogs by saying that the sausages are made from all parts of the pig including butt holes but I did not expect 6yo DD to yell across a pub garden “mum, I’ll have lasagna and ds says he’ll have a hotdog but only if they have butt hole sausage”.

mic drop

My darling (now late) fil was a builder

A good friend of his who was helping out for some reason had pissed him off

Fil came home and had a bit of a rant about this friend to mil and forgot all about it

Until a few weeks later,when they all met up and dps sister (then aged about 6/7) came out with 'barney,my daddy thinks your a fucking useless prick,who couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery!'

A lot of red faces all round...

(Mil smoothed it all down again and they stayed friends until my fil died,years later)