3rd child with speech delay

[Debtandmoredebt]

My third DC has a bit of a speech delay. Hes 18 months and has no real words, only pointing and some squealing type noises. He understands everything but can’t reply. Complete contrast to my first two who haven’t shut up since before a year old!

The health visitor has suggested it’s becausss he’s the third. To those of you with 3+ children is this something you’ve noticed? Why are children with larger families more likely to take longer so speak? Should I worry?

thankyou!

Isn't 18 months a bit early to be worrying about no words

Sometimes it can be because the older child speaks for them. Or parents are busy with other children so aren't spending as much face to face time with them as they are juggling tasks, third doesn't get as much attention, parents don't have time to read to them as much or have just 'been there done that' so don't do as many toddler groups etc. No subsequent child is going to have as much attention or input as the eldest there simply ist enough time or parent to go around.

What I would recommend is teach sign language, either makaton like Mr Tumble which has easier hand shapes, proper BSL or ones you make up yourself. It will reduce his frustration and the words will come in time.

The understanding is much harder to get than the speech.

Agree with the others - teach signs.

I had twins and they made up their own language until about 2. They occasionally condescended to a word in English.

Thankyou!

I wasn’t worried until the HV mentioned he should have around 20-30 words, he has none really. He can nod or shake his head and uses his hand to ask for things or points. Sign language is a good idea.

I haven’t had as much time as I have a 14 month gap between the youngest 2 which is hard. Im pretty stretched sadly for them all!

I was told the same with my third who wasn't saying much at 2, health visitor said 3rd and subsequent children are often physically advanced but slower to talk as they try to keep up with siblings but their siblings speak for them. He's three now and completely caught up.

I really don’t think that is backed up by any science that the more children are in a family the later they talk. Never seen that on any SALT resources.

Does he babble? Can he actually make consonants? If so, which ones?

As he understands everything I wouldn’t worry too much, teaching BSL is a great idea though, to help with any frustration.

My child started saying her first word at 18 months.
No one said she was behind

At 18 months why on earth are you worrying? If he understands everything, he’s just taking his time.

MyMiL once told me that eldest BiL barely uttered until he was 3 - but once he started, it came out in whole sentences. He’d just been taking it all in and biding his time.
He eventually went on to win a scholarship to Cambridge.

Can he breathe through his nose? Does he sound nasally when he attempts speech? And does he snore/stop breathing when he’s asleep?

10 words minimum is the 18 month language milestone. But that does include animal noises,” brum brum” for a car etc. so can see why the HV mentioned it if he has no words at all. Early intervention does work the best after all.

My 4th was really late with speech. He had no need to ask for anything as a parent or older sibling brought him drinks, food etc. I was told not to worry and suddenly he started with sentences. He's now 17 and is talking all the time!

Similar situation with my youngest sister. There are 5 of us. She didn't walk or talk until quite late. She didn't need to, older siblings carried her everywhere and talked for her/she couldn't get a word in 🤣 way later than 18 months though so wouldn't be worrying about talking at this point.

Has his hearing been checked?

My younger daughter didn't speak as quickly as her older sister and we later discovered that she had glue ear.

Had exactly the same with my third, referred for speech dekay/hearing at 2.5, nothing wrong, totally caught up by 5.

Way too early to be worrying. My DD didn't really start until 2 and now at 2.5 believe me when I say she will not stop chatting.

If there are no other developmental concerns then just keep talking to them and they'll get it soon enough

I don't know, I have a child who had a speech delay and my biggest regret was that I was too relaxed about it!

There's a good chance he's fine (and my DS eventually caught up, though I still worry he's not quite there) but I didn't really sort out (private) SALT until he was three and it was so helpful I was so angry at myself for not doing it earlier! And the waitlists are epic so I would call around now. NHS was useless for us, but I've heard of others with good experiences -- postcode lottery? Worth putting your name on the list anyway.

But there's SO MUCH you can do even without a SALT! So many great speech therapists are online on YouTube and Instagram giving tips. (I am not really a social media person but honestly, it is amazing for this.) As speech therapy for such young kids is really about training the parents what to do, the videos are incredibly useful and there's more now than ever.

There's an amazing book called "Play to Talk" by James MacDonald that has so many practical tips. I think it's great for every kid, actually. Others love Hanen but for some reason that never really clicked for me.

It sounds all fine though -- but it just doesn't hurt to intervene, as it's all play and fun. I bonded with my DS a lot over all the speech games we played 1:1. Earlier sorted the better, IMO.

Good luck!

Remind the older DC to make space in the conversation. My DD had a tendency to interpret, talk over, butt in so my ds found it harder to get the words out. We had to be quite strict with DD so she gave DS time to respond.