I have a very, very angry 4 year old

[Ratfinkstinkypink]

And I have no clue why. I can't ask him because he doesn't have the ability to verbalise much less tell me what the problem is, we don't have a reliable 'yes' and 'no' so I can't use closed questions. I feel like an absolute bloody failure today but he must feel even worse.

He can't sit unaided yet, he can't walk and he is totally dependent on others for everything and I can't even get this right today. He's in bed now, listening to his stories but every so often he gives an angry shout.

There is no purpose to this thread other than to let it all out somewhere safe.

Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a happier one.

You definitely need help and support. Can you join any online groups for children like your son. Does he go to nursery?

Is there any change he could be unwell? I would take his temperature and consider getting him seen by a doctor.

You are doing your best. No one can ever be a perfect parent. Pour yourself a cup of tea or glass of something and be kind to yourself. I bet you are doing an amazing job.

My parenting mantra is "this too will pass".

It will get easier, and then a different type of hard and then easier again.

But I hear you, that sounds ao frustrating for you. As Mum all we want to do is the best for out children but when you don’t know what that is must make it incrediably difficult.

Have you a communication board with photos/pictures for common words ?

Oh bless you OP, that's really tough. My nephew is 8 and non verbal and I wish I knew what he wants when he is looking for things or wants something. Sending you a virtual hug.

Google non verbal communication cards, I think Twinkl do some you can download and print off.

He's registered blind sadly and cognitively functions at less than 12 months old.

He's not unwell, I am as sure as I can be of that I think it purely is frustration about something. He's sleeping now, his heart rate and O2 are where they normally are (when he's poorly his heart rate increases).

Support is thin on the ground, made worse by the school holidays.

Thank you for the kind words and the understanding.

That must be so frustrating for both of you. He must be frustrated at not being able to communicate and you at not being able to work out what is wrong.
Hopefully he will wake up in a better mood tomorrow.

Ah sorry op. Sounds tough. Hope he is in a better mood in the morning 🤞🤞

This

Oops sorry. He’s blind. Does the blind society have any ideas?

You are NOT a failure, that just made me well up a bit reading you saying that, from what I read here you are a lovely empathetic and caring mum and your little boy is lucky to have you looking after him. Being a special needs parent is the toughest job in the world and there is not nearly enough help and support out there but there is SOME - please do whatever you can to enlist it or find it and accept it as you deserve to recharge your batteries too xx
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

You aren't a failure. You're clearly doing your best under incredible tough circumstances. I hope tomorrow is better for you both

Well, whatever gave him the rage yesterday is no longer giving him the rage and normal service has been resumed. We took a walk, although it was more like a marathon challenge in the wind, along the coastal path and I haven't heard a cross sound out of him all day just lots of happy squeals. I even managed to stop for coffee while I fed him his lunch I might've sneaked a bit of cake too but I needed to replace all those calories burned pushing him into the head wind.

I'm so pleased you've had a better day today.
Sometimes everyone has an off day and can be grumpy, I think sometimes as a mum of a child with significant disabilities I can forget that everyone can have a bad day and I often beat myself up for not knowing what's wrong or how to fix it and they can just be in a bad mood and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their disabilities or being in pain etc.

I hope you enjoyed the cane and didn't have to share!

Yay for a much better day!
Does he like the wind? A young man I used to work with who sounds like he has similar needs loved the sensory experience of wind in his face.

🌻Glad you had a happy day.

That sounds incredibly tough for you, OP. What kind of support do you have for him? Do you have a partner and family who are supportive? Are you entitled to any kind of respite? Your love for him shines through.

@Cuwins Six months ago I would've said he hated the wind, it used to make him cry but he seems to have had a change of opinion!

@MounjaroUser It's just me and him at home, we do have help from the local children's hospice and he goes there for an overnight stay a few times a year. I have just heard that we also qualify for direct payments so my next mission is to try to recruit someone to take him out to do fun things, I am not holding my breath though as I know how hard recruiting carers is at the moment.

No cake sharing here, he is tube fed!

Well that's good living in this country!
I suppose one positive of tube fed- no cake sharing! 😂
Where abouts in the country are you? Roughly? If your at all local to me then I may have a suggestion

East Suffolk.

Ah ok. No where near. Sorry