What advice would you give to your younger self?

[nadz012]

I am currently the age 25 and feel as thought I'm happy with how my life is at the moment but I know things can change at any moment and want to make the most of my life.

If you could go back to the age of 25 what would you change? If anything and what advice would you give to your younger self?

Just don't...
Every single thing that you think is a good idea, really isn't.

Also you aren't a weirdo you just have undiagnosed ADHD.

Not great life advice for everyone, but it would have saved me a lot of crap 🤣

Sign up to mumsnet.. My life would have been so different.. For example if I had known what limerence was.. Or how to gain self esteem via the support I have read some women on here receive.. I once posted about something so horrific I can't talk irl. The support I got made a big difference to my mh. Forever grateful. For some it's a place of gossip and tbh ridicule at times. But not that time.

Don't marry him and wait a bit...have fun and don't worry about what age you'll have kids. See what life brings you.

I have said it before on a similar thread, but it still haunts me :

Marry an Orphan

I married the guy I met at 15 and had a baby with him so I do hope I never have any regrets when it comes to this🤣 well the marrying him bit anyways

Don't get fat.

Lose weight now, it gets harder every year and it gets a lot harder QUICKLY. (I did actually lose weight in my 20s but didn’t manage to maintain that longer than a few years then had 3 kids and life changed). I mean this from a health POV.

Keep saying yes to things which feel good in your intuition, then you’ll be on the right track.

Life whizzes by partly because of lack of novelty - so keep doing new cool stuff as you age.

Make yourself happy. Life is too short and loads of people don’t get to grow old, so having a good time is the main point IMO.

You’re gorgeous, go have fun, date, play the field, appreciate being young, carefree and attractive. Don’t worry about marriage or children until you’re at least 30.

“Calm down” should have been my mantra but I suffer from ADHD so didn’t know at the time 🙄 my younger self should have said “fuck off” more often, besides that I don’t regret one single minute of it (even when I got drunk or ended in bed with the wrong man). Good memories…

Try and maintain genuine friendships .. make the effort to stay in touch

I wish I made healthier boundaries with my dm in my younger years as we now do not speak which is horrendously sad but if I had pulled back earlier it wouldn’t have come to this

I’m glad with most of my choices - steady income and did every course I needed to young enough, married early thirties etc

Ha. I’ve been on here since I was 19, now I’m 34 and every day I think, what a waste!! Spent like 15 years on a website, how sad! Yet here I am 😂

I would say:

Career
Earn as much money as you are capable of making, in a job you enjoy and ensure you pay into a pension. (I spent too long faffing about in dead end jobs wondering what to do with my life. I had several talents I never used and was often penniless.) Be as confident and ambitious as men. Ask for salary raises and career development and skills training. Move jobs every 12-18 months until you are at a salary level that really appeals. Apply for jobs that are just outside your scope of experience, not just those that are well within it. Men do. That's why they get them.

Health
This REALLY matters. Stay fit. Work out. Focus on health and strength and stamina not thinness or the latest weird body shape crazes. Find fitness regimes that you love and stay active. Look after your eyes, teeth, and your mental health. Like PP, I had ADHD and didn't know. Nothing could be done about that back then as it wasn't recognised but if I had my time again on the correct medication, my life would be unrecognisable. If you have mental health issues, sort them. Invest in yourself.

Spend money on what matters. Don't fritter it on fast fashion, boozing until you puke. Make a list of things you really want to do and own, and save for these and buy them.

Have adventures
(I did this. A lot. That was one thing I definitely got right.) I said earn a fortune but that doesn't mean be a wage slave. Look for chances to work abroad or in a profession that really excites you. Take adventurous holidays. Take on challenges while you are free and single - from doing stand up comedy to singing in a band to training for a triathlon. I am SO glad I had a load of adventures. It meant by the time I had children they were the new adventure. I didn't feel like I'd missed out.

Just accept this truth: Youth is beauty and beauty is power
Don't waste one second of your life thinking you are not attractive enough or in any other way not good enough for some flaky man/ manipulative boss or friend or family member. Chances are you are gorgeous. If you are actually medically overweight you can lose weight and tone up and your young skin will spring back. If you are medically within healthy BMI you are not fat. Don't choose to believe you are. I say this because so many women waste so many years of life hating themselves for the slightest curve of flesh. Just don't. You'll only look back at forty, fifty, sixty and think: wow, what was I thinking? She is so lovely.

Walk through the world as if you are gorgeous. Set high standards of respect and kindness from friends, partners, and colleagues, and you will attract the right people into your life.

Absolutely love this!

It's ok to be broke, you are young and it will get better. Yes start saving what you can and yes organise a pension if you can, but stop worrying about it so much!

Get off your arse and lose weight. It's always going to be hard, get help for your issues now before ttc.

Hang out with Mum more, sadly her days are numbered.

You have achieved so much!! Turn off that inner critic right now, the only person with big career notions was YOU and you chose the path you took for a reason that made sense at the time. Why the constant berating of yourself for not achieving more?

Do not accept being fobbed off with gynae issues.
Do not marry someone whose family you don't get on with.
Save more, spend better.

Be honest with yourself about what you want in life and go for it. Always save as much as possible.

Love yourself to the same degree you love him If not more. Stop putting others first.

Not everyone has your best interests at heart, some people love to see others fail, keep them a safe distance away from your life. Don't tell others your business.

With your job I would second the advice to have fun and try new things. I would remind my younger self that work won’t love you back and loyalty is a two way street - took me way too long to learn that! Know your value in all things and don’t put up with bullshit. Don’t be a dick but don’t be a doormat either. And go the extra mile to ensure friendships survive. I’ve had people I thought I were good friends disappear because we both stopped making an effort but my most persistent friends are still here 25 years later and are the people I would call in a crisis (and have!).

Stop worrying about what other people think! I spent a lot of my teens and 20s worrying about disappointing other people, trying to be liked and trying to make other people happy and took me into my 30s to get the message that you have absolutely no control over anyone else’s thoughts or feelings. You are who you are, just embrace that!

Avoid alcohol

don’t hook up with the first person that shows an interest

study harder