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Should I leave my dc in a Premier Inn while ex seeks medical care?

17 replies

pinotnow · 20/08/2024 21:10

Dc are 15 and 17 and spending the week with ex having been away with me for the first part of the summer holidays. Today they've gone to his home town (about 90 mins away) where his dm and dsis live, though ex has taken the dc to a hotel.

I was messaged by dc2 about 40 mins ago asking for help as ex was ringing 111 due to stomach pains. When we spoke, it turned out ds was unconcerned about ex, who he told me has been burping a lot, but worried about how he would pay for his meal in the restaurant. However, ex has now paid so ds is fine 🤔. Ex does have a few health issues, including epilepsy, which dc know about, but none have ever played up when they have been with him.

It turns out that dc1 has been back in our hometown today for sporting reasons but his now on his way to the hotel and is about an hour away. Ds2 is alone in the hotel as ex has been advised to attend a walk-in centre, which he has done by taxi. Ds2 is fine as he knows ds1 will be there soon. I have messaged ds1 separately, which ds2 had also done, and he is fine and unconcerned.

Both dc have told me they are fine and are confident that ex will be with them soon and that he would be annoyed if he was fine but that I had turned up in the meantime. I have told them I can collect them first thing in the morning in the unlikely event that ex is more seriously ill and they are fine with that. The fact is, I have had a few glasses of wine so couldn't drive now anyway, though obviously could get a taxi if it was an emergency.

I feel really guilty but both dc seem fine - I think ds2 wouldn't want to be on his own but is happy in the knowledge ds1 will be with him soon. Ds1 seems fine with it and I think would be annoyed if I insisted on turning up tonight. Is this ok or do I need to get a taxi? Ex hasn't contacted me but I imagine he has assumed dc have. His family in this city are not in the best of health and probably can't be relied upon in the event of the situation worsening. What would you do?

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 20/08/2024 21:12

At 15 and 17 this is absolutely fine.

ghostbusters · 20/08/2024 21:17

If they're both pretty sensible, and have lots of snacks /drinks (or access and money to visit the vending machine at reception if there is one) I'd say they'll be fine as they have each other and you're at the end of the phone if they need help.

CoastalCalm · 20/08/2024 21:20

They will be fine

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ShowOfHands · 20/08/2024 21:24

They will be perfectly okay.

WGACA · 20/08/2024 21:24

I think they’ll be fine too. Just reassure them that they can message and call you at anytime and that the staff in the hotel reception desk can help them if needed 24/7.

Ellie1015 · 20/08/2024 21:25

Absolutely fine to leave them. I would only consider going if they were very worried or ex asked me to go, or they were likely to get up to anything they shouldn't. None of these apply you have supported over the phone, so just relax and check in tomorrow morning.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/08/2024 21:28

They’re 15 & 17 not 5 & 7. They will be fine.

EarlyBird12345 · 20/08/2024 21:33

They sound fine. If you need to go for them tomorrow, be careful that your few glasses of wine don’t take you over the limit even though it’s the next day.

SummerSplashing · 20/08/2024 21:38

id have no hesitation leaving them if they've said they're fine & have been brought up well (not likely to trash the place or get drunk & vomit etc)

if your ex needs to stay in longer is there any reason they can't get a train home?

Frostycottagegarden · 20/08/2024 21:40

I'd absolutely leave them tonight and see how it is tomorrow. At that age, they'll be fine.

dollopz · 20/08/2024 21:43

Gosh they aren’t small children, will be perfectly fine in the hotel

SevernWonders · 20/08/2024 21:43

Agreed at that age they will be fine

freakinthespreadsheets · 20/08/2024 21:45

Ha you are joking aren't you?! 15 and 17, for one night? 17 year olds can live alone entirely in some cases and 15 isn't far behind. At 17 my parents were leaving me at home for a fortnight's termtime holiday FFS.

pinotnow · 20/08/2024 21:46

Thanks everyone. They both seem pretty happy with the situation, which is odd but, hey.. Seems odd not to be with them when something potentially serious is happening, but descending on them when it also potentially NOT serious would be maybe more odd. And very expensive, perhaps for no good reason...

OP posts:
pinotnow · 20/08/2024 21:48

Sorry, to be clear, I know they'll be fine in the hotel, it's more the fact that if something is seriously wrong with their father I don't really want them to be made aware of that in the middle of the night, in a hotel and with no adult with them. But hopefully that won't happen.

OP posts:
ASongbirdAndAnOldHat · 20/08/2024 21:54

In fairness to OP U18's aren't allowed to stay in a Premier Inn without an over 18.

However in reality they will be fine.

Noseybookworm · 20/08/2024 22:27

Can you contact Ex on his phone? I think your sons will be fine at the hotel but I'd be worried about them coping with potentially upsetting news about their dad. Hopefully they'll hear nothing tonight and you can get to them first thing if he's still in hospital.

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