Old friend from A level days. Back 'in the day' he probably had a crush on me.
We were close friends aged 18, stayed in touch until around age 23. Drifted. Now late 50's. FB friends request 8 years ago. Met up 3 times, always spouses / older kids in tow. Last time (lunch, 3 years ago) just us & he was v. over friendly.
I got an email a week later saying 'my wife won't let us meet anymore'. I replied to say fine, marriage is paramount - for me too. I did think he'd misrepresented things to her / in his head as there was also some 'you have got the wrong end of the stick' stuff. I replied that I really hadn't but all was good afaics.
Since, we've had intermittent contact, usually holiday snaps, kids news etc.
Our lives are very different. He has a good job, various properties, lots of travel.
I am (now) a single parent to two older teens but both have SEN & SN. It's hard.
His spouse is still alive & both his parents too. Mine aren't. We live 350m apart.
So very different in many ways. But I have other 'different' friends. We manage.
Reason for long post (sorry) is I am now thinking of going NC.
Recent interaction:
I post that I am happy to be away with kids for 2 days (1st break in nearly 2 years, 1 DC has been seriously ill so earlier holiday cancelled & this is tenuous)
I get a 'thumbs up' emoji reply. All fine. Then he sends 8 pics & 1 video of a japanese exhibition at his local museum. At 10.15pm.
2 days later I send a 'thumbs up' emoji. (I'd been back in hospital with DC) THis elecits a 'better than an unsent message I suppose or no response at all'.
I replied: 'I guess that's your decision not mine'? with a laugh emoji. The museum pics are pretty.thanks. But things are rather pressured here atm so I cannot garuntee perfect reciprocity' & a smile emoji. A bit 'wordy' but polite.
I then got two 25 line texts. 'Your (long term partner, died 2 years ago) was in a relationship with you, I am not & I do not think it appropriate for me to help too much but maybe I';m reading this wrong' etc etc etc. Also 'its not that I dont want to hear about your problems 'at all' but it seems a never ending list that is unsolvable & cannot be divided into small problems that you can fix. Your situation is genuinely difficult. In the face of that I dont' know what to say. I don't like that. And recently I've got the impression that you don't like me very much. You say 'we have little in common' so I feel you are not very interested in anything I have to say anyway. I care about you. Your situation worries me. But it is out of my hands & beyond my control'. Blimey ...
My intial feeling is to go NC. I've never asked him for help (but if he asks how I am I reply honestly). His life is pretty golden, mine is pretty tough. But I don't want flouncing about my (identical to his emoji anyway!) replies & all this verbiage about 'how he can't help'. Old friendships are rare but maybe NC now?