Has anybody not had their partner at their c section?

[Lefmry]

Hi everyone posting here for a little more traffic hopefully. Due our third in 3 weeks, c section is all booked and I’m starting to get anxious as predicted really.

Has anybody not been able to have their partner at their c section before? It has always been the plan for my mom to travel down (she lives 5 hours away) and take care of our other two children, this is what she did when our second was born and all was fine.

Problem is things are different now and a lot more difficult. My youngest is only 19 months and doesn’t really know her, he hasn’t seen her since April and he’s a very shy little sensitive boy with people he doesn’t really know. My eldest is also worrying me as he hasn’t had the best summer. He has quite severe additional needs and we’ve had back to back illnesses since the beginning of the summer holidays, moved house and the disturb in routine of there being no school has upset him a fair bit and he’s been a little challenging.

His first day of school also falls on my c section day too and he will be starting year 1. We feel a little unsure with how he will cope getting up, ready and then getting to school with my mom (especially as it’s his first day) as she isn’t the person to usually do this and obviously he’s not been himself recently.

So basically we are wondering if it’s worth having my mom at the c section and my partner stay home taking care of the kids. There is nobody else available to watch them. I feel awful but my partner is being very supportive, he says he would be upset to miss the birth but he’s aware he has two other children at home who need him.

Has anybody else been in such a situation before?

They'll be fine with your mum, it is a worry but honestly I think you'll both regret it if the choice is made out of logistics (which sound like there is an alternative you're just naturally anxious about which is understandable) rather than for any other reason. Having a new sibling is also a huge change, you can't protect them from this unfortunately.

Yeah the other side of me is saying it is literally one day, that’s it and it won’t hurt. But my youngest really is a very sensitive little boy, people can’t even look at him sometimes without him crying and he can get very upset and distraught when people he doesn’t know are in the house. I’m not overly concerned about my eldest, he does seem to always remember my mom as we used to live near her for almost 2 years before moving away, so he’s had her involved in his life a lot more than my youngest. It’s all feeling like such a worry atm, I’m an anxious person as it is and the idea of my smallest spending a whole day upset and crying for me breaks my heart! 😩

My second C section I was completely by myself. We were all sorted for the day it was planned and then I went into labour early. We could have asked a local friend to look after our toddler but the c section was over bedtime and all our local friends also had toddlers so decided for my husband to stay home.

It was always likely for us as we have no family to help. It was absolutely fine- he dropped her at nursery the next day and came straight to the hospital.

How close is your hospital? I'd get your DH to drop your eldest to school and then go join you at the hospital. Explain to the staff on the day and ask them to put you towards the end of the list if possible - they may well do that for you, ours were only putting the list in order as they checked us all in and did bloods etc. Everyone wants to go early so they may be delighted! There's a risk you'd have to wait til the next day if there's an emergency, but that risk is there anyway.

Your 19 month old will be fine with your mum - could she come up the day before so she's not a complete stranger?

Can you change the section day?

otherwise a late section could be an option - I chose to be last in on a Fri for home logistical reasons.
My hosp was over an hour away (we got the tube) but we were still able to take 5 year old to sch.

or can mum come a day or two before?

Good luck with it all!

It is already being done at 39+3 because of availability so I don’t think so, I wouldn’t want to risk any later 😩 I could definitely ask to be seen last though so my partner can take my son to school and spend at least the morning with the youngest/make sure he takes a nap (always a bonus to his mood) and things. I will also ask my mom to come a couple days before to spend a few hours here each day, that certainly will help and I hadn’t actually considered it!

Thank you!!!