If you live alone, do you bother to cook/eat properly?

[Saxalt]

And if so, can I ask what sort of meals you cook?

For the first time in 30 years I've started living on my own this year. I'm struggling to bother cooking properly - even easy stuff. I'd quite happily live off sandwiches or cereal or whatever my current obsession is (at the minute, pistachios and frozen Greek yogurt). But there comes a time (sadly) when you have to be sensible ...

Also, and I don't know how to explain this properly, but I don't feel like I live in the house or use it in the same way as I did when I had family living with me. Things like I won't bother lighting a candle because it's "only me", or putting the tv on because it's "only me". One of my dc came to stay recently and it struck me how he used the house as a home much more than I ever do.

I know I haven't explained that very well or articulated what I mean, but I don't know how to express it!

Op, try this.

Slice a clove of garlic and warm in oil until it smells garlicky, empty a drained can of cannellini beans on top. Stir once. Empty a drained can of tuna chunks on top of that. Stir once. Leave to simmer while you put half a packet of rocket on a plate Serve the beans and tuna on top.

5 mins, start to finish. Carbs, leafy greens, heaps of protein and fibre, no wheat. Warm, comforting, filling, healthy. Costs about £1.60 🙂

I'm a 10 mins before I want to eat I decide what to eat.

Usually something and salad. Or a ping meal. Or nuggets and chips (in the airfryer).

Sometimes it's just icecream, or bag of crisps and a mojito (or two).

I enjoy cooking and will happily make meals for myself. I've been on my own for many years though, and got into the habit. I do a lot of batch cooking and freeze excess. Today I'm making lentil soup in the slow cooker which will be mostly eaten for lunch this week and then toad in the hole with caramelised onions which will feed me today and tomorrow. I'm up very early tomorrow so I'm happy I don't have to think too hard about what to cook. We're a family who gave always cooked so it's natural for me. My dd makes lovely meals for her family too

I always cooked and still do on occasion but after being married over 40 years, it's quite liberating to not have to anymore if I don't want to. Having said that I'd rather still have to cook every night for my darling late husband.

I second the suggestion of getting meal boxes for a while. I did that with Mindful Chef, it gave me some new ideas and got me out of the bread-pasta-not much protein cycle.

It got too expensive for a while but had given me enough ideas that I could just buy my own stuff that had more protein in it and was healthier than just eating carbs all the time. Eating mainly carbs as you get into menopause (and younger) is asking for trouble with putting on weight and T2 diabetes.

As for the candles issue - enjoy them! Make your home exactly as you want it.

This thread is great, thanks for starting it @Saxalt . Like you I am living alone for the first time in decades. I have split from my abusive husband who would control everything, including what I ate. I have lost all my confidence in the kitchen and petrified that I am going to poison myself somehow. I know that's daft, but that's what it feels like. When I get home from work I am so exhausted that even heating something up in the microwave is a major chore. I also don't have a dishwasher at the moment, so all the washing up puts me off too.

I do need to do something though. Between work and the stress of the divorce my health has taken an absolute nosedive. Inspired by this thread I have ordered One Pot, One Portion by Elinor Wilkinson and will try to do a couple of meals a week from there as a starting point.

Like you I am struggling to make a home. I wondered if it was because I was in rented and am waiting for the family home to sell. Perhaps it is more than that though?

I'm recently separated - this is a really helpful thread. Quick question: for those who batch cook at weekends and put portions in the freezer to eat during the week, do you have to remember to take out and defrost in advance? Or can you cook from frozen? Sorry if that sounds a bit daft, but I often feel like this is where I fail on cooking for myself - I forget to take things out to defrost in the morning so that I can cook them in the evening. Thanks.

When I became single post divorce, I got into the habit of easy food - salmon fillets or cod in bread crumbs or basically any protein I could chuck in the oven for 30 min and nuke some veg to go with. At worst case an omelette but it took too much effort 😂
I'd very rarely cook anything that required effort but i did try and eat healthily at least!

A quick meal for me would be sliced courgette sautéed with squeeze of lemon, on pasta.

I live with my teen DD but she's not always here (sometimes with her Dad, sometimes at her boyfriend's house, this weekend she's at a music festival - you get the picture). I mostly cook though. That's because I like good food and couldn't live on frozen dinners.

However, I cook a lot of dinners which can be re-heated the following day - things like chilli (there's a really good recipe on the BBC Good Food website), seafood curry, lasagne, chicken enchiladas, lamb stew etc. Occasionally I'll buy a turkey breast and do a standard roast dinner - mash, veg, turkey, gravy etc. Although I'm more likely to do the latter when I know DD will be here. Then we have the leftovers the next day. So in your average week, I'll maybe cook three dinners. The seventh day is likely to be sausage rolls and beans. Or a frozen pizza or something. I'm not a total paragon of virtue where food is concerned .

Baby new potatoes are handy because they don't need peeling or mashing and they cook fairly quickly. If I haven't planned ahead, I might just do baby new potatoes and a fried fish fillet or a chicken breast roasted in the oven. With broccoli or tinned sweetcorn on the side.

Tbh I'm not a fan of freezing dinners and re-heating them. They're not that great imo. But lots of people swear by it.

he used the house as a home much more than I ever do.

I find this desperately sad and hope you can get some insight into why you are treating yourself as some sort of second class citizen who doesn't deserve to have a lovely life.

Would it help meanwhile to remind yourself that you have done your share of giving to others, have done a great job of bringing up DC who are now launched as adults and that this is your time.

You absolutely deserve to have a lovely life.

Nowadays, I cook for myself 99% of the time. At first, I indulged in all sorts of 'treat' foods like a big bag of crisps and sour creme and onion dip, no greens 'because I can'. Found myself getting fat, lethargic and hating what I was doing to myself.

Much more balanced these days. Especially in summer I buy a good selection of mostly salad veg, different kinds of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, spring onions. Micro sprouts , parsley, whatever fresh herbs go with the veg, basil for tomatoes. Veg like broccoli, sweet peppers and fennel to roast.

Follow the Zoe guidelines to eat thirty different kinds of veg each week

Make a big mixed salad with a different selection of veg each day to eat with something simple lamb chops, belly pork, fillet steak, meatballs etc

Usually use an air fryer (small portion of meat in one drawer, roast the veg in the other drawer) as using the whole oven tends to feel wasteful.

30mins max all day. At the weekend, if I'm not going out I have one smallish glass of wine to go. Almost always have a cup of good coffee afterwards.

The key is to find what you really really want to do, then spare no expense of time and effort to do exactly that. It's good for you to treat yourself really very well indeed. It builds your self esteem and over time helps you feel secure.

Just caught up with the rest of the thread, so adding that I picked up this way of eating low carb high fat from Mumsnet's low low carb boot camp and have lost five stone. Turns out that my body just doesn't deal well with processed carbs, sadly ruling out bread and pasta makes me feel much more energetic so here we are. I've lost five stone, eat more 'real food' never feel that 'hangry' feeling of craving carbs and actually look forward to meals.

Still wouldn't want to slave in the kitchen for hours but a meal done and dusted from scratch in an hour is a good and pleasant use of my time to do something good for myself.

I forget to take things out to defrost in the morning so that I can cook them in the evening

I use the defrost setting on the microwave, and them 5 minutes on full blast. To be sure, I use a thermometer to make sure it's heated up properly, I never know what the 'piping hot' temp is that you see on ready meals.

I am mostly on my own as I have taken an almost 4 year posting overseas but DD was in exam year so DH stayed home with her (and his work is not really feasible to do there - but hopefully 1 week per month from this october, if DD gets her Uni place).

For me, it was also a chance of location so different food available, and some options not available (I don't have a microwave or air fryer, hob is induction not gas and can't take large based pots, much smaller freezer...).

It's hard some days not to just have cheese and crackers. I work hard to get a good mix of fruit and veg across the week. I'm occasionally guilty of cooking half a duck breast (they are massive here) and oven chips as dinner.

I do some batch cooking - like a korma sauce from scratch, that I freeze in 1 person portions and can add prawns or chicken to quickly. Or spaghetti Bol full of veggies. Or roasted veggies to defrost and toss into a jar of tomato sauce with freshly fried lardons to have with pasta.

Mid week is always very busy - some days I get to have a dinner mid day in the canteen of the meetings building with colleagues so cheese/crackers is acceptable (or hummus and carrot sticks, or a simple salad). I try and have 1 freezer option for busier days, and prep one evening for cooking the following evening if I know I have a quiet followed by a busy one.

I have felt guilty about lighting candles, and watching the big tv. I find I'm comfortable sitting at the dining table watching things on my iPad. But I trying to get out of that habit, to get up after my meal and do something (I've set up my sewing machine again and have a lot of projects to do).

I am also enjoying being able to drink red wine again as DH cannot tolerate it anymore - there are good options in boxes so I can have a glass and not need to drink the whole bottle as it stays fresh (air doesn't get in).

I tend to make things that cook from frozen eg as I said I will cook the meat and potatoes for a Shephard's pie and assemble it but I will freeze it at that stage in a foil container. I take the container out, take the lid off and bung in the oven for 20 - 30 mins.

I do chicken with veg in condensed soup and crème fraiche in the slow cooker, I eat a portion and then the rest goes cold, I put that in foil containers and top with ready made pasty and freeze it, again uncooked and again about 30 mins in the oven.

If you don't have a thermometer and want to know if it is cooked then put a butter knife in to the pie, take it out and put it between your fingers, if you drop it before you burn your fingers it is cooked.

I might do something like chilli which I then put in a tortilla and fold over to make a parcel, they can be frozen and reheated from frozen.

Thank you so much for all the further posts and meal suggestions/recipes. I'm quite surprised (don't know why!) at how many people batch cook.

I think Ive perhaps underplayed quite how lazy in the kitchen I am so here's an anecdote that might illustrate it a bit better!

I moved house in July 2023. Christmas 2023 3 of my dc came home. Christmas Day I set about the arduous task of making Christmas dinner, only to discover the oven wasn't working properly - as I later discovered, the thermostat was shot So nearly 6 months in the house and I'd not used the oven (I had had it cleaned though so, to give myself my due, I must have had vague intentions of using it. At some point.). Here's a picture of my pigs in blankets to demonstrate!

Also, several people have mentioned toad-in-the-hole which sparked memories of how my own version of this classic was renamed (by myself) as turd-in-the-hole ...

But actually, despite just having provided evidence to the contrary, it's not that I can't cook, it's just that I don't enjoy it and can't be bothered. I do appreciate that this is just tough luck though, and if I want to maintain my health I need to step up. I'm leaning towards trying one of the gousto/hello fresh type things.

Lastly, another question - do you set the table and eat at it when you're on your own? My df was the type of person who loved food shopping, loved cooking, loved experimenting with new recipes (maybe I was adopted?), and without fail, set the table for himself every meal time. (Mind you, he was also the type of man who got properly dressed in shirt and tie nearly every day.).

Thank you again for all the ideas. I too am really liking this thread (even if I do say so myself :).)

do you set the table

One of the joys of being alone is getting decide for yourself how and when to eat, so I vary where and how I eat day by day.

I do keep a small table cloth handy so I can set the table. There are usually flowers not always fresh on the table anyway. I tend to do that to make an occasion of eating, and enjoying a glass of wine (often Prosecco, those small bottle are perfect )

I have also been known to sit on the sofa with a tray, in bed, in front of the TV and even (whispers) on the stairs opposite the kitchen when I'm rushing to go out.

The joys of single living.

Set the table - not exactly. I usually eat at it because the sofa tends to have cats on, but that just means sitting down with a bowl / plate and cutlery.

No, not a table setter. I tend to find something I want to watch on TV. I have bad habit of scrolling the internet and half listening to the TV so this is a good chance to concentrate on it as I eat.

If I'm eating something a bit special I do try and take notice of it as I eat so that I don't just hoover it down without noticing or appreciating it.

I wouldn't like to sit at the dining table with music or anything

My easy/quick lazy food:

Fresh tortellini boiled for 3 mins then tossed in butter with halved Cherry toms and a chopped spring onion,covered in grated cheese.

Super noodles with a spring onion and a ton of peas.

Soup and a sandwich

Smoked salmon and eggs

Smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel

Microwave jacket potato with cheese and coleslaw with salad or with chicken/ham/houmous

Falafel in a wrap with salad and sour cream

Halloumi with salad (add a wrap if you want)

Tinned tomatoes on toast salt n pepper

Stirfry adding in whatever you like with wok ready noodles or microwave rice

Fried up courgettes and mushrooms in butter

Banana sandwich but in toast

Toasted sandwich.

Or a hello fresh for one, add a pepper to make enough for two and keep a portion for the next day

I’ll race you to the chocolate eating contest!
Thats really kind of you, but I’ll be ok, just need to stop overthinking.

Maybe your thread will inspire me to meal plan again and be more mindful of what I’m consuming

Hopefully we'll both be inspired! Take care of yourself x

I sit at the breakfast bar to eat, I don't have a dining table (well I do, I have two, one is behind the sofa, legs under my bed and the other is being used as a hall table) as I'd have to get rid of a sofa to make space but I always sit at the breakfast bar unless it's pizza which is eaten from the box on the sofa.

I'm a bit of a health nut and I lead an odd life where I am with DH some of the time and on my own at other times. However, my cooking is the same, irrespective of where I am.

Basically, I nearly always incorporate something that will format part of the next day's dinner. Usually protein or UNrefined carbs, such as lentils or quinoa, or roasted vegetables.

My main focus is eating clean. No UPFs, no sugar, no refined carbs...... at least 80% of the time.

My sympathies to everyone who is eating alone because their husband/partner died.

DP died suddenly two and a half years ago. I loved cooking for us, we always ate together at the table, radio on but no TV even in the room. Now my problem is less about the cooking more about the eating. I can't bear to eat at the table anymore. It's just too lonely. So whatever I have has to be able to be eaten with my left hand while my right scrolls the news sites or MN on my laptop, and that I'm eating barely registers. I do go through phases where I get disgusted with myself and cook proper food, but an awful lot of cheese sandwiches get eaten too.

I'm so sorry :(. I know how difficult it is. Sending love and support. It has got easier imo - not easy, but easier. But I'm 7 years in. Hang on in there x