Old diaries

[Itsasintokillamockingbird]

I started keeping a diary when I was 13 and continued until my first son was born. Recently, I found them in the garage and started reading them. It was like being transported back in time and made me very emotional: first loves, disappointments, the ups and downs of university, etc. The hardest thing was recognising the impact of my dysfunctional upbringing on my relationships. I can now see why I behaved the way I did, but I had no idea at the time. I wish I'd had someone there to advise me.

My DH has destroyed some of his old diaries, but I can't bear to do that. Although they are difficult to read, my old diaries are precious to me. However, I'm not sure I want my children to read them one day.

What do other parents do with their old diaries?

I have some adult diaries still. I wrote one when I was in the throes of a relationship breakdown in my late 20s. It's bonkers really, it could all have been dealt with by end it and move on but I wrote a whole book. I read some it back and it's torturous stuff. However I quite like the idea of keeping some parts.

DM has been writing out her life story. I keep meaning to go round and read some of it. She writes a diary every day apparently. I personally would find it very interesting to read her perspective.

This has made me realise... I've no idea where mine ended up! I presume I must have binned them at some point. They weren't positive reading.

I didn't write them in English... well I did, but in a different alphabet! So they would be unreadable. I've offered to teach my DDs my "secret code"

@PolkaStripeShirt - I'm sure writing the diary must have helped you cope with what sounds like a very difficult time in your life.

I had a great aunt that, like your DM, wrote in her diary every day. She didn't write a lot - just a short summary of what had happened. However, it proved to be gold dust when her adult DS was involved in a court case with his neighbour. My aunt had detailed everything that had happened and had all the dates and times written down. It proved to be vital evidence and her DS won his case!

Yes diaries will be a much more revealing style than letters to your mum so I can see why you'd want to edit a bit!

I started keeping a journal when I was about seven or eight. Kept it religiously through many, many notebooks with stickers, drawings, photos, pressed flowers and all sorts of things glued on. I had a breakdown at 16 and destroyed them all, dissolved them in buckets of boiled water and bleach one night so nobody would be able to read them if I wasn't around anymore. I went into hospital soon after and pretty much started up writing again straight away. Ten years later, I destroyed all the new notebooks. I never started writing again after that. In hindsight, I just realised I should have known I was having another breakdown when I did it again.
But I've never regretted it, either time. I think if I was able to look at them now, I would probably not be able to connect who I am now with the person who wrote them. They were full of unhappy memories that would only make me sad all over again. Even worse, I don't think I could bear to read my hopes and plans for the future knowing how things have worked out. Plus there's no way I would want anyone else reading them ever, so it's a relief they're gone.
I do have all the letters and cards me and now dh gave each other from when we met as teenagers to this day, those are a bit cringe worthy but nice to have but they're not suitable to show to dd

@jusqualafin - I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult time and I hope your mental health is better now. It's understandable that you don't regret destroying diaries that were full of unhappy memories. When I started rereading my old diaries a few days ago, it stirred up emotions that were really difficult to handle. Sometimes memories are best left undisturbed.

I assume mine will be under the bed in my old room at my parents house still along with the memory boxes I made from my teenage years and 2 previous relationships 🙈 I might go and have a look at some point 🤔

I had 20 years of diaries from 9 years old. Kept them for years, like you OP I would occasionally read some of them and it was nostalgic, embarrassing, brought back good and bad times. In the last few years, as I am getting on in age now, I didn't want to leave them behind when I'm gone, they are private things, so I shredded all of them recently. Am glad I did, it was the right thing to do.

I have recently been blessed with my first Grandchild and DS is asking me to go and bring all the baby books and photos from the loft. They're stored with heaps of very detailed diaries from age 10yrs to 33yrs and I just can't face even seeing the covers after 25yrs. Page after page of trauma and misery!

I've got mine going back to age 12.

If the house is on fire that's what I'm saving.