I know why it's happening. I get overwhelmed easily by noise, mess, and touch (especially touch). I'm a single parent with no help, running two businesses to keep us afloat. I'm also mid 40s and going through perimenopause.
But it needs to stop for the dc sake. I love them to death but they annoy me so much. The constant questions, whining, touching, leaving their crap everywhere, and endless stream of questions is getting harder to deal with. I'm letting them spend more and more time on devices just to get some peace, but I then spend my time doomscrolling my phone to zone out. They are amazing kids and will clear up, do their chores when reminded or asked. They are also bright, respectful and curious and want to know everything about everything but I want silence! I'm getting snappy and sarcastic with them and I'm worried it will damage our relationship.
An example is this morning I was in bed with a coffee and dd came in to get in bed with me. She pulled the blanket off me while getting in, knocked my coffee which stained the blanket, then elbowed me in the stomach while trying to snuggle in. I ended up snapping at her and she left quite upset 😢 I always apologise after snapping but then 10 minutes later it happens again. It feels like an almost primal rage or desperation to get away from the annoyance.
I also find myself snapping at people while driving or muttering at strangers. I just want to be calm and serene! Any advice greatly appreciated.