Is your lifestyle similar to your parents?

[struggless]

As an adult, how does your lifestyle compare to your parents? Is it similar, or is it better or worse in some ways? Is there a significant difference or do you essentially mirror your parents footsteps? Are you more/less comfortable etc

I guess I’m just curious about social mobility. I’m in my 20s but can already see a difference in how things may pan out for me vs my parents.

My life is so, so different.

My parents left school in their mid-teens. They were expected to get a job and contribute to the family income. I finished school and went on to college and got a degree.

My parents started off married life in a Council tenancy and subsequently bought their house from the Council (the tenancy was originally my Nana's). I bought mine by taking out a mortgage.

My parents had five kids. I had one.

My parents stayed together. I'm separated.

My Mam only worked briefly after her first child was born. She was mostly a SAHM. I've always worked, apart from my Maternity Leave.

My parents never drove and never owned a car. I can drive and have a car.

I have a much longer commute to work than my parents had.

Life in general is very different compared to my parents' time. Wages are higher but the cost of housing (paying rent or a mortgage) is significantly higher.

Things are much better for women and we have a lot of reproductive choices which weren't possible for my Mam and for her generation. The Catholic Church was very dominant when my parents were young, but was less significant when I was a child, and its influence had waned by the time I reached my teens/twenties.

Technology has changed so much in my lifetime. I've witnessed a gradual change from pay phones to house phones to mobile phones to smart phones. We've gone from Commodore computers to laptops.

I can work from home (part of the week) which wouldn't have been possible for my parents.

Very similar actually.

Our combined earnings are 10x that of my parents when I was growing up. We were fed home cooked meals, had a 3 bed semi and didnt seem to want for much.Things were different though in that going to the cinema was a rare treat, we went abroad once and at least 2 weeks of the school holidays were spent at my nan's. We had less stuff than my kids have and I don't think that was a bad thing. My parents were able to buy a second property when we were teenagers whereas dh and I will be unlikely to afford to. They did have to be frugal though with 4 kids on 1 wage.

We aren't rich by any means but are comfortable. I will always stick to a budget but I think that is just down to how I was raised and wanting to get the best I can for the money spent. We were raised to choose careers that we had an interest in but were paid well. There wasn't the bank of mum and dad to fall back on. I do sometimes wonder whether my kids will have the same drive I had for a better life.

Both my parents are long gone now. Dad went out to work, mum was a housewife, and they lived in a council house. Just like many others of that generation.

My life is quite different.

Significantly better. My dad walked out on my mum and we grew up in a council house. No car, no holidays, every bill was a final demand. I was terrified at the thought of having to spend my adult life like that too. The fear of losing our house or my Mum (she was taken to court for not being able to pay some bills) still makes me feel sick. I took every academic opportunity offered and now don’t have to live like that.

Good question.

A bit better I guess, in terms of money?

But we are in the same lines of work as our parents.
Self employed. Which can make things precarious. We do not take our income for granted.

I live in a much more modest house than the one I grew up in. My parents still live there. They had, and still have, better / more exotic holidays than we do. They ran (and still run) two cars; we have one.
Our joint household income now is about the exact same figure as my dad retired on 20 years ago. I never felt particularly wealthy growing up but certainly took a lot for granted.

Do you mean their lifestyle now or when they were our age? If now, our lifestyle is extremely different due to age/life stage. My dad is gone now but my mum is comfortable enough financially, no big savings but gets along happily, same as us. If I compare to them at our age then we are much more privileged and have a better standard of living. Money was tight and we lived in a council house in a rough area. They were working class, I’m middle class.

Don’t compare yourself to your parents in your 20s, you’re still very early on in your life and career. You’d be surprised how much your life will likely change in the next 10 years or so.

My lifestyle is different than my parents in a similar way to yours OP in that I will never really attain the same level of financial security they have despite a better start in life.

I have a degree, whereas they both left school at 14/15 and, through work, house prices skyrocketing and decent pensions have ended up financially sorted in their old age.

I may never own my own home, and will have a laughable pension. However, I have travelled more than them, and feel I've had more choice and freedoms than they had at my age. I wouldn't swap to be honest (although I would have loved to be a teenager in the swinging 60's).

Different generations all have their own challenges and opportunities. I don't begrudge them what they have, they took the chances they were offered at the time.

We’re more financially comfortable than my parents a similar age. My DM was a middle management office worker and DF had a succession of fairly low paid jobs, but always doing something to top the coffers up. I probably earn about double when DM did even when she retired, and DH earns slightly more as well. We were never ‘poor’ growing up but money was definitely tight and holidays abroad weren’t a thing.

In contrast, we’ll have around 4 holidays abroad this year and we pay for DD’s uni accommodation as well. We’re very lucky.

I’d say socially our lifestyle is different as well, we have a large circle of friends and value spending time with them. My DM and DF were quite happy in their own company and only really had one or two other couple friends. We always have people here or we’re out at theirs, holidays with friends and all the kids etc.

I don’t think either lifestyle is significantly ‘better’, just different through different opportunities and choices. My DM and DF worked hard and put everything into giving me and my siblings what they could, same as DH and I.

Very very similar to their lifestyle now, better off than they were at my age. They helped us buy a house which has set us up (I am very aware and grateful for my luck). I live a few streets away from them and go to the pub with them a lot

I was just thinking about this the other day! I was feeling a bit down and as if, compared to my parents, I'd failed at life (I'm fairly certain that that's what they thought right up until they died). They had a totally different, and much more affluent, lifestyle than I do.

My dad was a doctor and my mother a nurse. When they met, they both were on relatively good money and had no commitments. They were able to fund what was, back then (late 1950's/early 60's), quite a decadent lifestyle.

They both had cars, they travelled abroad a lot, they mixed with (what they considered to be) the "right" crowd, they went out a lot, ate at expensive restaurants, spent money on clothes and accessories, furnished their house with up-to-the-minute decor (imported Italian marble floors etc - we're talking Wales in the 50's and 60's).

Essentially, when they finally started a family, it was because it was the "in" thing to do within the crowd they mixed in, and they basically wanted a fashion accessory, not a child. (Unfortunately for them, I was a shy, overweight, plain child - not at all what they envisioned - but that's another story). Their marriage ended in acrimony and divorce. My mother went on to live the same sort of life - prioritising money and material things, but my dad, despite being a high earner, seemed to change completely.

I spent my working life in the charity sector, dh worked in sales, we had 4 dc, and not much spare income, Matters weren't helped when dh became ill in his 20's, had to retire on grounds of ill health in his early 40's, and died in his early 50's. We did have a large (money pit) of a house, but really our lifestyle couldn't have been further removed from that of my parents.

But, since dh and I had a very happy marriage, and since our dc are all healthy and doing well, I know who's lifestyle I'd consider to be the better, if not more affluent, one. :)

Despite being better educated than either of my parents or my stepdad, and having a "better job" than they had, my lifestyle now is more or less the same as that of my parents 30 years ago. I would probably say I'm as happy as they were, too - doing alright and although life can be stressful and we don't always know how we're going to get to the end of each month and still be able to afford food, we get by and find joy and love and happiness in the things that you don't need money for.

I'm sorry to hear about your DH @Holdfinger . Sounds like you had a very happy marriage, despite his illness. I wish you and your DC every happiness going forward.

That is so incredibly lovely of you - thank you very much x

My Dad had a factory job and my Mum was a housewife. I grew up in a council house.

Nowadays I couldn’t afford to buy that council house, despite having two degrees and a professional office job. I have a much better job than my parents and way more education, but it makes no difference to my lifestyle - if anything I’m worse off despite being more educated and cultured. Because at the end of the day it’s income vs the cost of living that matters.

Parents from very poor background came to live in England in the 1950s. Dad worked really hard, mum stayed at home to look after kids. Married women with kids didn't really work back then.

Life was very different back then. It was possible to have a stay at home parent and a mortgage.

My lifestyle is different in that I won't retire at 60 like they did. I am better traveled than they were. Travel wasn't as easy to do back then as it is now. I eat very differently. I'd never had a curry, rice, pizza or pasta until I left home. Food was very basic meat and 2 veg. No such thing as McDonald's or takeaways when I grew up either!

We were happy.

I would say, in late 30s/early 40s, our lifestyle is definitely better than our parents. I don’t know if in real terms we actually earn more than they would have in, say, the 80s/90s. But we have a better lifestyle. Nicer house, hobbies, better quality of life. Dh and I definitely grew up middle class, but I’d say we’re probably ‘more’ middle class (if that’s a thing 😂).

I absolutely would not have said that in my 20s when we were just scraping by in shitty jobs in our shitty flats though.

We have far more money than my parents ever did - higher earners and way more savings/retirement.

We have very similar lifestyles though - private schools for kids/paid for university/nice holidays - except mine were in a caravan all summer on a beautiful beach and my kids were foreign holidays. My kids had access to more money for clothes etc but the feel of our childhoods was the same I'd guess.

Dh's parents had significant inheritance and bought extravagant houses and lived a very high lifestyle - often without much to back it up. Dh remembers not answering the door to the milkman.

My siblings and I have a much higher standard of living than our parents. But that is because we are all high earning professionals.

However, our standard of living compared to people who did the same roles as us when we were children is much lower.

I'm a senior NHS doctor. I live in a one bed flat in central London. The colleagues who trained me 20 years ago had much nicer / bigger flats than I do. House prices have gone bonkers and NHS salaries haven't kept up.

We're all low earners. I have the highest potential to earn more, I became a lone parent at a young age which prevented me from progressing as much as I'd like but that is changing now as DC is older and I've moved to an industry with a lot of room for promotion and career building.

However my mum is a homeowner and I'm not, I likely never will be unless my salary increases by a lot.

Yes, probably similar to parents.

Parents born in the early 50s to working class parents.

Both hard workers, bought a family home in a good area at a young age, where they still live. Dad worked long hours throughout my childhood, mum worked part-time. Due to this they don't have particularly good pensions but have always been frugal and are fairly comfortable in retirement.

I was born early 80s, live 3 streets away from parents in a very similar house, although I bought it much later in life than them (was living in a flat until last year, in my early 40s, whereas they bought their home in their 20s). So I have a much better mortgage (in relative terms than they ever had).

However I have been paying into a pension for many years, which they didn't do so will hopefully have a decent retirement pot.

I spend more than they do. They were always very cautious and very frugal. I spend on things like takeaways and wine

I guess our lifestyles are similar in that we have nice houses in a nice area, but similar to them I don't do any expensive hobbies, can't play any instruments or read music, can't speak another language, and are in fairly safe "boring" jobs. Any sort of creative job or freelance or anything would be deemed too risky.

So things like that I would like to change for my kids. I'd like to be able to provide them with a safety net that they can explore other options rather than just be stuck in the 9-5 rat race.

....not quite sure how, though.

I do quite often think how every generation wants their kids to do better than them and give them opportunities they didn't have etc. And I do worry that my parents may be disappointed I've done similar to them, but definitely not better.

But it is what it is 🤷‍♀️

That's funny, I just posted something similar to you but from different viewpoint....stating that I would like to be able to provide my children the safety net of being able to pursue more creative careers. But now see your post saying the same thing but how it didn't necessarily work out.

It's a tough one, isn't it. People can do things with the best of intentions but it's no guarantee of a good outcome.

No, my mum was able to be a SAHM, we couldn't afford that. We are a lot less affluent than they are.

At my age my DM lived in a bigger better house than me.

They ran 2 good cars and bought whatever they wanted from Tesco.

They didn't go on holidays/mini breaks or eat out /go to cafes very often.

The furniture etc in the house was all high quality.

DM was a member of a country club with a pool.

But she thinks I have a better lifestyle because I buy the DCs more toys, do fancier Xmases, take them away frequently.