Am I Being mugged off

[gardendashboard]

Hi I have teen son who has been struggling to be anything other than aggressive towards me for the last year.

He just asked for a selfie and I've got home and looking at the photos he is doing a heart gesture (he is far away in the background).

At first I thought this was a lovely thing (and my heart melted a little) but looking at it he is using his index and middle finger of each hand to make each side of the heart, pointed towards the camera.

So give it to me straight. Is he just using the opportunity to mock and double swear at me ? Is this heart gesture a known thing among his age ? Is it a nice thing? (Grateful at this point for any straws I can clutch).

Thank you

That's how kids do the heart thing these days. Have a look about any social media and you'll see.

Back in my day it was the index fingers and thumbs.

If you mean like this it’s just how the kids do it now.

Not you aren’t being mugged off.

I get it’s difficult with teens. I have an adult dd and a teen Ds. But if you keep jumping to ‘he is mugging me off’ you are going to only make things worse between you.

Thanks - so glad I checked on here. Googled it and couldn't find anything 😔

Yes sadly lots of psychological damage so wanted to check if I was jumping to wrong conclusion. Hard to trust instincts any more.

Good to know he is still invested. 🥲

That's a big leap. It's a heart symbol, how did you get double swear from it?

Did you think it was like when teens sit with their chin in their hand and then you realise their middle finger is raised?

I actually get you OP. My DS can be awful and we often expect the worst not because we are being mean but because sometimes that's how our kindness and support gets repaid. But then he can be great and we feel bad for thinking negatively. We had a similar thing a few weeks back in a crowded place queuing up for something where ds moved quicker and gestured back to us. I thought he beckoned for us to follow him but Dh thought he was giving us the finger. It genuinely could have been either. Turned out he was trying to help us, dh felt bad as he was raging over it.

Thanks yes. LOTS of history with this and I've got to the point where I have to protect myself mentally but still looking out for signs of hope.

Thanks for understanding