Why are some people slobs?

[nottakingadvicefromacartoondog]

I used to be bloody awful as a teen; proper floordrobe, used plates and glasses left for days etc. Mum used the phrase 'health hazard' on more than one occasion. But when I went to uni I grew out of it, pretty much instantaneously. I'm now pretty houseproud, but still quite relaxed overall (I have two small children, doesn't feel worth being too stressed about the state of the house! We're not instagrammers).

My husband on the other hand...oh my days!!! He has an office down the garden which is very much his domain, I don't go in there. Except for today as he asked me to fetch something. It's gross!! Rubbish lying everywhere in spite of there being a bin right there, crumbs, used hankies, random empty boxes of things which he bought last year. I just don't understand how someone can be productive in a space like that?! I closed the door and backed away slowly 😂

Then again I've heard a lot of geniuses live in squalor, is it a thing??

Just wondering, did you used to be a slob? Did you grow out of it or are you still happy surrounded by mess? Do you live with someone with different standards to you? Just interested really!

It was poor mental health for me. Just CBA caring about what my house looked (or smelled!) like.
Im better now and the house is usually quite tidy but it will never be a showhome...not while I have 3 very elderly dogs pottering around.

Surely sometimes you do. And sometimes not.

Lots of people have a room of doom. Busy professionals etc.

I'm ND and it's a struggle.

Poor mental health for me and ND for my DH. He doesn’t see mess. If we are blitzing the house he asks me what needs doing, even if there is stuff on the floor right in front of him. He will tidy if directed, but doesn’t even think to do it without the direction.

My husband has more relaxed standards than I do when it comes to our home!
He isn't a slob as such but can definitely ignore the odd plate or piece of rubbish that shouldn't be there.
I can't ignore it, knowing it's there burns my brain until I've put things away/cleaned up.

I think it just doesn't bother some people. It really bothers me. I'm struggling to keep my home as clean as I would like because it needs remodelling. I like my home to look unlived in, so I'm cleaning and putting things away all the time and too much stuff makes me anxious.

I have ADHD and also take medication for it when I need to be organised for work things. At the moment on a sabbatical so don't take medication. I am quite disorganised but also worked out long ago that if I didn't want to be super stressed in an untidy house then the trick is not to have much stuff.

I don't enjoy housework. It sparks no 'joy' but for me , I think not doing it is just a cop out. Yes easy to say I have ADHD and therefore allowed to live in chaos... but not fair on the kids and DH. So I need to make the effort whilst accepting my own limitations. So if I hoover half a living room and then get distracted and by untidy patio.. I allow myself to go sort that out BUT then force myself back to the hoover and make 'bargains' with myself.. such as finish this although it's really boring ... but then you can have 45 mins on MN.. so a sort of reward system for myself.

As a child (didn't get diagnosed until 42 years old, 18 years ago) .. I was horrifically untidy and completely chaotic but have done a lot of work, research wise to develop strategies to make my and my family's life easier. (Haven't really cracked paperwork and appointments yet but working on it and technology definitely helps).

It's very easy to 'blame' ADHD for things I don't want to do. Sadly they still need doing. It's not all negative though in someways it's a super power. I am like a dog with a bone with things like research. (Handily this is my work environment)...

The MH condition, to my mind that makes cleaning and tidying extremely difficult to overcome is depression. I don't know how anyone with clinical depression gets any cleaning and tidying done.

It's just personality. I've always been tidy, Dh the same, Ds's the same.

I'll put another vote in for ADHD - when I was in the thick of it, I would have said that I didn't mind the mess/it didn't really register.

That was only half true; while I can and do concentrate (etc) in a messy room just as well as I do in a clean room, if you'd offered me the option of a magic spell which would have cleaned everything up instantly then I'd have been using it all the time. Which makes me think that I did actually mind, but I just told myself I didn't mind because I had absolutely no idea how to keep on top of things; whatever I tried didn't sustainably work.

The issue with keeping on top of being clean and tidy with ADHD is poor executive functioning - that causes trouble prioritising, a tendency to have very narrow focus (like tunnel vision so can ignore the mess), value short-term far higher than long-term (so go for the instant gratification of whatever you love doing, rather than the slog of cleaning for a rather boring/unimportant seeming result), difficulty organising tasks and forming habits, and time blindness.

Teenagers also (developmentally appropriately) have poor executive functioning, so it makes sense that you would have not bothered to keep on top of things as a teenager and then when you got a bit older it became more important and/or easier and so you did it.

For me it's the ADHD/Asd. It's just so very very tiring living with a brain like this and it is also easy to fall into depression low self worth.

My house is clean and tidy enough most days.

I grew up with slob parents and was always too embarrassed to have friends round to visit, as the house was in such a state.

It wouldn't have mattered to me how 'clever' they were or how much money they earned, I would've just given anything to have a friend round for tea or a playdate now and then.

I think it's selfish behaviour when you have kids.

I struggle with tidying. My house is always a tip. I am not remarkably intelligent, but I am far from unintelligent (Master's degree, pick things up very quickly, never struggled to learn anything-apart from managing a household!)

I live alone so I guess at least my mess doesn't affect anybody else.

In terms of slobbery, I know a (again very intelligent)man who is a total slob. I am noting, he'll wee in bottles or jars to avoid going to the bathroom. His house had no hot running water for DECADES and he never bothered getting it fixed. Often doesn't bother washing. Never cleaned his house I mean never. Dust and muck everywhere, rubbish lying around-I helped him some years back and went round to help sort things out and I filled THIRTEEN bin bags just from the rubbish in the sitting room-I wish I was joking.

A lodger I've just got rid of for unrelated reasons. Her room was full of old bottles and beer cans, cigarette butts, sanitary towels on the side that had been used, thick layer of muck on each surface.

She's not intelligent at all. I think there CAN be a correlation, perhaps intelligent people 'do' more things, so they'll have more stuff lying about. People who just watch TV and don't have any interests, don't read, create, learn will have fewer things and find it easier to keep tidy.

I have a friend with autism and a learning disability-she's VERY tidy and neat. But she doesn't really 'do' anything? Goes to work, sleeps, that's about it. I could be a lot tidier if that was my life and I was happy with it that way but I never could be.

ADHD.

I just don't see it, and when I do see it I start cleaning then get distracted and end up doing something else.

My landlord is very sympathetic and pays for a deep clean once a year. I'm very very lucky.

Also I'm not as yucky as some examples!

Dirty stuff goes in the bin. Clothes are washed, dishes are done. Fridge is shiny.

It's floor, walls and dust bunny's for me.

Everyone tells me how clean it looks afterwards but I don't see it at all! Always looks the same to me!