Best CF airplane stories

[BreadInCaptivity]

Inspired by another thread.

About 5 years ago we were flying back from the USA. We'd booked Premium Economy seats on Virgin. Configuration is 2-3-2.

Our two late teens were in front of us and we had the 2 seats directly behind. All settled in when a family of 4 embarked with 2 young children (around 5 and 7 at a guess).

They proceed to the 2 seats behind DH and I and start putting their bags down when the mother asked (politely to be fair) if we would mid swapping seats so they could sit together as a family.

Given our two were older (and once headphones were on were not going to be engaging with us) we decided to be nice and said ok.

Can you guess where this is going?

Asked where the other seats were, looking around the PE cabin a bit baffled as it appeared to be full....

Yep - they'd only booked 2 seats in PE and wanted us to take their 2 seats in economy 😂.

Clearly we said, no (with rather incredulous expressions on our face's) and sat back down. Parent then both start calling us selfish (oh the irony) and demanding we move. DH made the point that if sitting together was so important, then booking in the same cabin might be a good idea for the future, but as stands he was sure if they went down to economy the people in the seats next to those they'd booked would be very happy with a free upgrade 😀.

The response from the Father "I'm not giving up a better seat I've paid for"....to which DH deadpanned "I couldn't agree with you more"...at which point DH and I couldn't stop laughing enough to respond further.

Cabin crew eventually had to get involved as the parents had an argument over who was going to sit where. Mother won and spent the first 20 mins of the flight making loud passive aggressive comments to her child about "mean/selfish" people until crew got involved again and told her to pack it in or they'd be moved to economy if they didn't stop harassing us.

Thankfully the rest of the flight was uneventful but DH and I still chuckle about it now and again 😃.

Anyone got any others?

Why on earth would you want someone 'excitedly' screeching in your ear for a whole flight?

I often catch a 6.15am flight. That means I'm up at 3am or before to get to airport etc.

Sometimes there are groups of people literally shouting and laughing and making a massive racket right in my earhole. It's rude. It's unpleasant. Especially when it's obvious because of the flight time that people want to sleep. I don't care about 'excited'. STFU!

Flying back from Cuba to Manchester on daytime flight woman next to me and dh reclined sear instantly and woman behind her asked her to put it back.She refused.
Resulted in woman kicking the back of her seat for hours and threatening to punch her after landing.

A few years ago I was on a flight back to London from somewhere in Italy, I think it would be. It was in the days of completely unallocated seats. I'm deaf so I always sit in the front row of seats near the counter in the departure lounge so that I can lipread what the staff say when they make announcements. Three people, two men and a woman in business suits, obviously colleagues, arrived and sat in the same row as me. The woman was obviously very tense and kept leaning forward to stare along the row of seats and look at me. She spent the 20 minutes' waiting time getting increasingly wound up. As soon as boarding opened, she was off! tottering along on her high heels, banging her briefcase, arse wiggling in a skirt too tight, the two guys trailing after her.

And the reason for all this? To get the front seats, with more leg room. That was it. When I entered the plane, there they were, already sprawled out and looking pleased with themselves.

I could not imagine behaving in such an immature fashion for the sake of a few inches of extra legroom on a two-hour flight.

As soon as boarding opened, she was off! tottering along on her high heels, banging her briefcase, arse wiggling in a skirt too tight, the two guys trailing after her.

Were the men’s arses wiggling in trousers too tight?

I’d have said, ( because it’s true) I want aisle seatg because I don’t want to have to squeeze my arse past you if I need the loo, because it’s always the men who refuse to get up and move out the way, because they enjoy an eyeful of an embarrassed women’s bum

that’s why I always booked aisle seat - very frequently business traveller. Much as I’d love a window, after having one guy “help me “ by putting his hand on my arse as he insisted I could squeeze by, when I was in my 20s, I was done with that. It was 90s and I was young- these days I’d have reported him . But these days he’d probably not went to grope me as I’m no spring chicken 🤣🤣

@ButtonNoses

of course they are allowed to be excited

But if you read the rest of what she and her awful family were doing I don't think any of that is remotely acceptable tbh

On BA the middle seat has a table with indentations to hold drinks etc. so you don’t need to use the tray table. I’ve also used it to place items like kindle, headphones etc. I aim to use 50% so the passenger 8n the other seat can do the same.

Not CF-ery but I was (mistakenly) the neighbour from hell on one flight.

Friday eve 7pm departure JFK to LHR. Plane full of people returning from a week’s work in NY, including me. Premium economy, 2 seats next to each other.

i don’t know why, but I became massively clumsy on that flight. First I opened the locker to put my bag in it, then dropped it on neighbour’s head (really nice man who clearly just wanted to go to sleep). Apologised profusely. Then kicked him in the knee while getting into my seat.

then dropped my book onto him when the meal came round. By that time he looked pissed off.

when we arrived at LHR I again dropped my bag on his head, and then topped it off with dropping his own bag on him.

he was a ‘too polite to say anything but look pissed off’ person but I’ve never apologised so much in my life.

JudgeJ · Yesterday 21:23

I recall seeing a similar pictures except the hair was much longer and covered the screen. I think I might have spread chewing gum in it.

I saw just that about 15 years ago. I was in the aisle, with two jolly women from Aberdeen next to me, middle and window. The woman in the window of the row in front flicked her very long hair over the back of her seat. The woman in my row asked her not to and was ignored, till she stood up and leant over to ask, only to get a scowl.

She asked the stewardess to help and hair woman moved her hair for a few minutes, then flicked it back. The woman in my row got some chewing gum out and when it was ready, she stuck gum in the oblivious CF's hair and repeated several times, I was trying not to laugh and the guy across the aisle was transfixed and having fits of the giggles, whilst giving the thumbs up.

No , because @itsgettingweird had told the airline and airlines usually/often allocate seats foc to those who need special assistance. So she maybe expected to find that they had been reallocated seats that weren't the extra legroom seats.

I don’t get it? The woman sat near the desk and rushed off because she wanted to be the first on the plane to get the extra legroom seats. I don’t understand what’s immature about that?! Her outfit doesn’t seem relevant.

Very full flight from Gatwick to Mexico.
Took ages to load and finally, when we are all on board, the cabin crew announced there was a honeymoon couple on the flight who want to sit together so would anyone mind swapping, otherwise they don’t want to stay on the aircraft and it will mean a further delay whilst their bags are off loaded.

There was no way I was moving, as we’d paid for extra legroom on a long haul flight, but I assume someone caved into the emotional blackmail as we took off soon after.

Whitney Houston? :)

I have one! I was 16 and doing a trip with friends London-NY, first time going so far without adults. Some idiot old enough to know better bloke was sat in my seat. Asked him to move but he refused so I asked the flight attendant to help. She asked him and he said no, so In front of him she said to me, "don't worry, we have space in first class you can sit there". The man then started backtracking saying you can have your seat I'll sit in first class, but the stewardess said to him "it's ok all sorted now, enjoy your flight" with a lovely smile on her face as she escorted me to first class! She was ace! Went back a couple of times during the flight to chat to my friends, and he was so pissed off when I was telling my friends loud enough for him to hear how great first class is!

Returning from NY to London, in a plane three quarters full of Orthodox Jewish families. I assume it was an organised trip of some sort.

As soon as people got on, they all started swapping seats so no unmarried men and women were sitting next to each other. Of course, every move meant another set of people suddenly had to start switching, so it took for ever to get ready to go.

The pilot kept appealing to everyone to sit down, but was totally ignored.

CFery because it delayed the whole plane!

couldn't see because they had jackets on. They definitely weren't wearing high heels though.

It was you, wasn't it?

No because I don’t wear heels, but I certainly don’t have some weird complex about women who do 😂

@GoldenLegend, the reason people are getting at you was because your post was dripping with misogyny and ageism.

Whether or not you think dashing for a plane is a good idea, the way you described that women was horrible.

Don't be daft, they were letting her do their dirty work.....

Had a bloke ask for my leftovers from the meal.

A woman I had to console while her husband stared out of the window ignoring her. She cried all the way to Spain as she missed her dog already.

An old lady who talked my ears off from tarmac to tarmac. She told me about her large suitcase and that she always needs help with it. At baggage reclaim she nudged me and said, 'that's my bag there'. I swear it was so big it could have had a dead body in it. I stepped aside and said, 'I'll let you get in so you can reach it then'.

Same woman commented very loudly that airport security was so poor 'you could smuggle a ton of cocaine through here'. I shook her off before going through customs.

I'll finish with a bonus train fuckery.

A woman was sitting in my seat. I asked her to move and she said, 'I'm getting off at the next stop, you can have it then' (an hour away). The carriage was fairly quiet but I sat down next to her. She said, 'oh, you're sitting there are you?'' I said 'yes, someone else is in my seat'.............

Is this in the States? Not in Europe/UK I think. I have never heard of this. (And don;t see how it rates an OMG ! ) 😊

It's how short haul business class works in Europe.