Frugal to a fault

[SemiScroogeSortOf]

My partner and I both were brought up in large, impoverished families. After we married, we continued to live very frugally. My partner died last winter, and I find myself living alone in a too-large house, with almost a million in the bank.

I still live frugally. I can't seem to spend money on myself, and I've resorted to donating money to worthy causes to try and break the shackles of frugality. I haven't been on vacation since 1996, and I haven't been to a cinema since 2010 (saw the movie UP). I think the last time I ate in a restaurant was... maybe 6 or 7 years ago. Besides, I don't eat much, and restaurant food - in ads - always looks over-cooked, over-sauced, over-everything.

I could go on a world cruise every year, and still not run out of money. (Why don't I ? Most cruises are for couples, and by myself I'd just be bored and lonely.)

How the heck do I free myself from almost 80 years of frugality? Maybe I'm just a miserable old sod.

I have one question for you @SemiScroogeSortOf

Are you fundamentally happy with your life as it is? Because if you are, and spending more money on yourself would make you miserable, then what's the point?!

Continue to treat your loved ones. Maybe have a think about what charitable causes are important to you, and see whether there are any small local charities for which a reasonably-sized donation would make a huge difference.

Some good advice her, but remember OP, you could have another 20 years so while it's lovely to treat others, you need to be sure you can pay for help if you need it.

I think you should just spend on small things to start that will brighten your day.

I think you need to find something you would really like to do, or experience or enjoy.

You go to the library, do some research, join some clubs, and discover what you really want out of life.

You don’t have to spend for the sake of it, but do go to decent shops for food and enjoy it! Buy a bottle of decent wine!

Im not a spender, I do t have debts, apart from the mortgage and once that’s paid off I don’t need anything.

I don’t care for stuff either.

DD is the same, she’d rather have money in the bank that be surround by things, they just collect dust until we throw them away.

Why not do some research on property and see if there’s anything that catches your eye?

Het an estate agent round for some figures.

This usually sparks your interest to move.

What a strange post OP.

How can anyone struggle with spending a bit of money when you have grandchildren . It's pretty disingenuous coming on here saying oh I've got so much money I don't know what to do . Well you could get your grandchildren on the property ladder , help your children , renovate your house and adapt for later needs . The list is endless .
I get being frugal but being able to save up a million is not someone who's lived an impoverished life despite your background .
The mind boggles .

Hmmm there are no pockets in a shroud and no hitch on a hearse. Easy for me to say. I grew up in poverty. I find what I have developed is a discomfort talking about money and a life that lacks experiences. I grew up with no experience of holidays and no experience of restaurants or similar. I find I struggle to throw things out too. I am also always afraid of poverty.

The reason I am sharing this is because I think growing up in poverty can have profound effects on people. I think maybe spend the money on counselling to explore your upbringing and the impact it has had on you. Who knows you might feel comfortable not spending the money once you learn a bit more about you and your experiences. Or you might decide to throw off the shackles and shed the load.

Get some premium bonds and hope for a big win, then you can have even more money.

My in laws are like this. They deliberately choose cheaper but less convenient holidays (location, apartments, restaurants etc.) because they don’t like the feeling of spending too much. However their frugality isn’t stopping them doing what they’d like to. So is it a problem really?

This!

I assume your kids are well set up, small mortgages, debt free, cars etc.?

Definitely enjoy yourself but if you really can’t bring yourself to spend the money on cruises/clothes etc. why don’t you pass some money onto your grandkids and help set them up? I can’t imagine having so much money I don’t know what to spend it on and not wanting to help my family.

All those frugal years have trapped you in a parsimonious mind set that it's going to be difficult to break away from @SemiScroogeSortOf.

I'd start in small ways, up grade your food....change lemon sole to turbot, prawns to lobster. Keep a couple of jars of caviar in to have on toast as a quick snack. Only drink champagne! 🥂 🥂
Well done on getting that cake, start eating it for breakfast.

Personally, I'd knock the charity donations on the head as they will mostly be frittered away on huge salaries for the CEO. (Battersea Dogs Home has millions in the bank, yet is still seeking donations). Instead, I'd spend that money on a cleaner and a gardener so you can directly help someone.

I agree about treating all the family to a holiday. Also use your whole Premium Bond allowance if you don't already, those with the larger deposits are more likely to win the larger prizes.

Other treat things to consider...
Fresh flowers delivered every week.
Pedicure & hairdresser regularly.
Heavy groceries etc delivered.