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Original poster

Am I doing something wrong?

13 replies

RollaRooS92 · 15/08/2024 16:43

DD is 3.2 … hasn’t taken to potty training…She will sit if prompted but still can’t recognise the need to go herself. We started three wks ago…wat am I doing rong?? have tried rewards and no rewards and pants and no pants…im gettin cabin fever!!!

OP posts:
Spuck · 15/08/2024 16:48

Do you feel she is ready? Does she actually understand (even partially) what the toilet is used for? If you feel she is ready then persevere. If you do not, then try again in 3 months. My cousins little boy didn’t grasp it until nearly 4yo. It isn’t worth the stress or mess if she isn’t ready for it.

HerculesShipwright · 15/08/2024 17:03

So eldest DS was quite old when he was ready definitely more like 3.5. I got so much stick from my sister about it. But then my niece was exactly the same. My other kids were ready lots earlier. If it's hard work just leave it. When they're ready I found they just got it and it didn't feel like a challenge at all.

Original poster
RollaRooS92 · 15/08/2024 17:05

ive been introducing potty and toilet since Dec. She needs to be potty trained for nursery in sept…I kno im under a lot of pressure and tht probs is rubbing off but im really upset she had to be potty trained and theres a time pressure on it but worried she wnt be accepted in to nursery…they said they can’t deal with daily accidents well she weed on me/the sofa/the floor 4 times 2day!

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Original poster
RollaRooS92 · 15/08/2024 17:14

my main issue is she is not able to feel her body sensations even when I say u are wriggling u are showing signs of needing a wee let’s get to the potty she says no and won’t sit on the potty. I dnt want to physically force her to sit on the potty when she’s in tears and associate it with bad things but then a minute or so later she will wet herself.

OP posts:
BillieJ · 15/08/2024 17:21

She doesn't sound ready.

Original poster
RollaRooS92 · 15/08/2024 17:51

BillieJ · 15/08/2024 17:21

She doesn't sound ready.

thats my fear but I can’t quit now

any one have advice on how to help her feel bodily sensations or is it just time? we r back to nappy and pants free today (had been wearing nappy over pants so she can feel wetness whilst out and about this week) and staying in for a few days to try and go back to basics….she really isn’t bothered to be wet!!! look a puddle mummy splash splash… trying v hard to recognise she’s not doing this on purpose and she can’t help it but she did deliberately wee on the sofa today after saying I’m going to do a wee here ahhhh so she DID recognise once today…I was too slow to get her to the potty

OP posts:
Moonflower12 · 15/08/2024 22:00

Nursery can't turn her away for not being potty trained. They have to take her.

Original poster
RollaRooS92 · 16/08/2024 08:44

i know new laws have been introduced in England but we are not in England and this is a pre school attached to a private school so i worry that they can… can’t seem to find where this stands on legally… nursery just keep saying she’ll be fine but we can’t accept daily accidents

back to bare bum all day today hoping she starts to realise she’s due a wee we had two occasions of her knowing she needed to wee yesterday … out of about 9 or 10 wees in total

OP posts:
Original poster
RollaRooS92 · 17/08/2024 18:47

Never mind!

she’s started going to the potty herself today I could cry with joy … I know it’s only been two times in 4 weeks but it’s the start and shows she CAN do it! finally!!

OP posts:
SummerSplashing · 17/08/2024 18:52

RollaRooS92 · 17/08/2024 18:47

Never mind!

she’s started going to the potty herself today I could cry with joy … I know it’s only been two times in 4 weeks but it’s the start and shows she CAN do it! finally!!

yayyyyyy

well done DD!!!

any regression keep her in
pants, not pants greez, doggy pants feels much worse than just a wee on bare legs.

Sinderalla · 17/08/2024 18:54

RollaRooS92 · 15/08/2024 17:14

my main issue is she is not able to feel her body sensations even when I say u are wriggling u are showing signs of needing a wee let’s get to the potty she says no and won’t sit on the potty. I dnt want to physically force her to sit on the potty when she’s in tears and associate it with bad things but then a minute or so later she will wet herself.

Tell her to sit in the potty and give her chocolate to eat whilst there

BertieBotts · 17/08/2024 19:19

Try doing it a bit like you would for a puppy - keep the potty in the room and leave her naked or with very minimal clothing and watch her like a hawk, as soon as she starts to wee pick her up and put her on the potty, then get REALLY REALLY EXCITED about the bit of wee that actually got on the potty, even if it's literally just one drop. If you don't get one drop, praise her anyway for sitting on the potty even though it wasn't her choice(!)

Don't waste time persuading her to go or asking her to go. You notice that she's about to wee or has just started to wee, get her in the right place so that you "catch" it and then go really bananas with praise, she's done do well, she's got it, hurrah etc. Yes agree don't force her to sit there screaming. That's not likely to be helpful. But if you can catch a wee, then it might well help. It might also help if you can get her to sit on it to watch TV or similar, because again you'll get an incidental wee and you can praise her for it.

This has worked really well for my DS who is a bit reluctant. He's absolutely over the moon when this happens and it's really boosted his confidence, he's starting to make the connection now and recognise earlier when he needs to go. In fact he's been doing brilliantly this week but we had to put a nappy on him today because we weren't sure how often we'd have access to toilets, and when it did come to a toilet stop I asked if he wanted to have a try, he did, did a wee on the toilet and his nappy was also totally dry - so I know he's holding it even with a nappy on now.

Original poster
RollaRooS92 · 17/08/2024 21:06

BertieBotts · 17/08/2024 19:19

Try doing it a bit like you would for a puppy - keep the potty in the room and leave her naked or with very minimal clothing and watch her like a hawk, as soon as she starts to wee pick her up and put her on the potty, then get REALLY REALLY EXCITED about the bit of wee that actually got on the potty, even if it's literally just one drop. If you don't get one drop, praise her anyway for sitting on the potty even though it wasn't her choice(!)

Don't waste time persuading her to go or asking her to go. You notice that she's about to wee or has just started to wee, get her in the right place so that you "catch" it and then go really bananas with praise, she's done do well, she's got it, hurrah etc. Yes agree don't force her to sit there screaming. That's not likely to be helpful. But if you can catch a wee, then it might well help. It might also help if you can get her to sit on it to watch TV or similar, because again you'll get an incidental wee and you can praise her for it.

This has worked really well for my DS who is a bit reluctant. He's absolutely over the moon when this happens and it's really boosted his confidence, he's starting to make the connection now and recognise earlier when he needs to go. In fact he's been doing brilliantly this week but we had to put a nappy on him today because we weren't sure how often we'd have access to toilets, and when it did come to a toilet stop I asked if he wanted to have a try, he did, did a wee on the toilet and his nappy was also totally dry - so I know he's holding it even with a nappy on now.

Thats exactly how we started … 4 weeks ago !! now we kno she CAN do it but it’s been a long hard messy 4 weeks. Tried with praise and a sticker chart and chocolate but it still didn’t click so this week stopped doing rewards then she told me last night she wanted a chocolate after a wee and started giving chocolates buttons again

goin to try pants tomorrow but still spend the day at home to really crack it before we go out and about luckily i am not working currently so can devote all the time to it

thanks for all the advice and help!

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