I am sometimes terrified by the thought of dying. I remember being in an MRI scanner once and having a panic attack and feeling so scared. For some reason it made me think of death. Maybe it was the tomb like experience. I remember in that moment just thinking that at some point we all have to step into that void and accept it. It didn't help me relax in the scanner!
Another time I was climbing a bell tower in a sunny European city. It had steps with big gaps and as I got higher I again remember feeling terrified if I was to jump or fall. Then I thought to myself that we all will have to face death. For some reason the precariousness made me worry more. Even though it's unlikely that we'll die in an awful accident like that, we still have to accept the end. I'm still scared.
I have beautiful, innocent young children. They already ask questions. And sometimes I hate the fact that I brought them into the world to have to face these questions and a certain end. And they may end up being really scared as well at some point. I wish I hadn't had them. And it all just ended with me.
Anyone feel this way or have ideas about how I can frame it differently in my mind?