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Please help me - I'm panicking about my probable breast cancer

23 replies

breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:08

I had an ultrasound and biopsy yesterday. They seem sure it is cancer.
The ultrasound showed they think that the lymph nodes are clear. But can an ultrasound tell this?
But the mass is 3cm which is big! And there is also maybe another tiny one that is not quite in the same please. How has it spread?
What has really made me panic, is that they described breast cancer as 'treatable'. I thought that meant they could cure it, but I now find (from google) that there is a distinction between curable and treatable.
I'm really panicking here - am I going to die?!!! I'm so so frightened.

OP posts:
breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:09

I have two children - well one is 18 and one is 16. The 16 year old is away this week so I haven't told her. I'm so frightened for her. I'm just suddenly so frightened!

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breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:13

Would a doctor use the expression 'treatable' about cancer that was in stage 1 or 2?
I'm worried that their use of this word means that it is stage 3 or 4...

OP posts:
thesandwich · 15/08/2024 13:15

Im so sorry op- this is so hard to hear. But please, please try not to panic. And come over to this thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/5059016-cancer-support-thread-94-sweetness-and-light-the-two-noblest-of-things?page=9&reply=137175540
which is full of folk who have been where you are, are going through treatment, or have come out the other side. Loads of wisdom and info for every part of your “journey” There are lots of us who have been where you are.
golden rules- stay off Google, only use sites like breast cancer now or Macmillan, use their phone lines if you need to talk to an expert, and you won’t believe it but honestly this is the hardest bit when you don’t know what you are dealing with.

Page 34 | Cancer Support Thread 94 - Sweetness and light - the two noblest of things. | Mumsnet

{mention:tilllly} and Daisy.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/5059016-cancer-support-thread-94-sweetness-and-light-the-two-noblest-of-things?page=9&reply=137175540

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

thesandwich · 15/08/2024 13:17

Most medics seem to use treatable in my experience.

MinnieMountain · 15/08/2024 13:24

I can’t help with curable v treatable but them saying that to you sounds confusing as cancer goes to the lymph nodes before it becomes a secondary cancer.

The guy who scanned my lymph nodes correctly said he though the cancer hadn’t spread to them.

When do you get your biopsy results?

bringonyourwreckingball · 15/08/2024 13:25

My lump was 2.7cm when I was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago. I had a year of very intensive treatment including chemo, immunotherapy, radiotherapy and surgery. It wasn’t much fun but I am completely fine and just had the all clear on my first annual mammogram.
Try not to panic - I know it is terrifying but until you have the results of the biopsy they can’t decide your treatment plan. Once that plan swings into action you will likely feel much better IME.

MinnieMountain · 15/08/2024 13:25

I do have a vague memory of being told they never say cured.

Zoopet · 15/08/2024 13:26

Hi
I realise you must be in shock, but don't panic!
I was you last October and I have had a full course of chemotherapy, a lumpectomy and am about to start radiotherapy as a belt and braces.
They have cleared the current problem.

  1. Don't Google- you will frighten yourself to death unecessarily.
  2. Speak to the breast care nurses at your hospital, they are brilliant.
Take a notebook and pen to ask/ answer questions.
  1. Look on the General Health Section of Mumsnet. There are 2 brilliant threads which will give you lots of support
One is called @Tilllly sweetness and light. The other is about how to deal with your diagnosis( it has a picture of a lion on it.) You will find a very welcoming group on both. Xx .
StellaCruella · 15/08/2024 13:28

That's so frightening I know, but treatable is just that. You're going to be ok. I recommend giving MacMillan a call, they talked me through my mum's early diagnosis and helped so much.

redcess · 15/08/2024 13:39

The doctor used the words treatable when I was diagnosed. I remember being very sensitive to the terminology and thinking why can't he say it will be cured. I am nearly 10 years on from diagnosis, and completely well. I had a 5cm lump.
Also ultrasounds don't necessarily pick up cancer very accurately? The first ultrasound I had they concluded it probably wasn't cancer, it was the biopsy which showed it was.

breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:51

Thank you all so much.
You do make me feel so much better.
I think what is making me panic is the size of the lump. So heartening to hear stories of people who had lumps that big or bigger and who have come through it okay. Right now I feel like I will gladly put up with any treatment - I just want to be there for my dc as they grow up/grow as young adults. I want that so so so badly.
The ultrasound people had a 1-5 scale of how likely it was to be malignant and they ticked 5. That's why I think they are so sure. but heartened to hear that they could be wrong - though don't know what else a mass of that size could be.

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Izzynohopanda · 15/08/2024 13:53

Sending a virtual hug.

breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:54

I liked the word 'treatable' when the doctor first used it. It's only when I googled that I panicked into thinking that they mean that I am on some sort of end of life pathway.
I can sort of see that I am catastrophising but can't seem to help it.
I get the biopsy results on Wednesday, and then am due to go on holiday the following Sunday. They told me to go on holiday, and will do the surgery when I get back. On the one hand I hope that means that they do not think it is a panic-worthy situation. but on the other hand I think they might be thinking 'she should have some enjoyment in her life while it still lasts'...
Might seem ridiculous, but that is where my mind is going!

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breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:55

I also care massively about the stages. I want so badly to be stage 1 but as I understand it a cancer of my size cannot be stage 1.

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breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 13:57

You are all really helping. I'm so grateful.
This morning is A'level results day and I went in with ds to collect them and celebrate with him and friends over breakfast. But after a few hours of that I felt like I really needed to be elsewhere talking or crying about this BC disaster.

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Nousernamesleftatall · 15/08/2024 14:00

I am so sorry. I am waiting for my appointment after I discovered two lumps. Should be in a week or two. I have been told it’s an ultrasound and a mammogram. Did they do a mammogram? I have no advice but I wish you the very best of luck.

breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 14:02

*Nousernamesleftatall I have been told that most of the time when people find lumps they turn out not to be cancerous. I hope this is the case for you at your appointment! They did do a mammogram. *

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thesandwich · 15/08/2024 14:42

@breastcancerpanic its so hard to celebrate when you have this looming- but please try and celebrate with your Dc for their achievements. A radiographer told me when I was being assessed “ you’ll be done and dusted in a year” and I was.
Treatment is tough, but it’s doable, and there is lots of help and support - bc nurses who are brilliant, local groups, fb groups, charities etc….and please join the thread as there are loads of us who’ve been through it or are going through it.

CatChant · 15/08/2024 16:08

I had a very similar diagnosis twelve years ago. One large lump (I don’t remember the exact measurements) in one breast and one small one in the other one.

Initially the consultant assessed it as stage 3 and thought it likely it would have already spread to the lymph nodes because the large lump was so big. As it turned out it hadn’t, but I think it was something of a surprise to her.

I think they always use the word “treatable” rather than “curable” as a matter of practice. Curable, I suppose, sounds too much of a cast-iron guarantee and nothing in life can be guaranteed.

You are at the most frightening stage. You’ve been told it’s most probably cancer but the treatment hasn’t started. I remember not being able to sleep and being desperately worried about leaving my DCs motherless when I was at the same stage.

Once treatment begins you will feel calmer because you’ll know something is being done to get rid of it.

Treatment is tiring and takes several months, but all the cancer treatment medical practitioners I encountered were kind, helpful and so flexible about arranging appointments to suit me.

These days I rarely have reason to remember that I had cancer. Only when filling out medical forms, or passing the hospital where I was treated, or if I hear of someone else’s diagnosis. I hope it will be the same for you.

Congratulations to your DS on his results and post on here whenever you need to - there are an awful lot of us who’ve stood in your shoes.

breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 17:02

Thank you all so much.
I phone Marie Curie and spoke to someone super helpful. I'm literally not going to google anymore. I will just phone them when I need to.
Then a friend turned up and took me to her house for a cup of tea. I feel so much better. My panic seems to be coming in long slow waves with periods of feeling okay in between!

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MinnieMountain · 15/08/2024 17:32

Enjoy your holiday OP. My lumpectomy got bumped for a more urgent case. They’d definitely do it ASAP if necessary.

@Zoopet Tilly is no longer around.

breastcancerpanic · 15/08/2024 17:39

Minimountain - how could they tell how urgent it was?
If I knew that I had e.g. a year's treatment ahead of me but then would be cured, I would be absolutely over the moon...

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Zoopet · 15/08/2024 18:03

MinnieMountain · 15/08/2024 17:32

Enjoy your holiday OP. My lumpectomy got bumped for a more urgent case. They’d definitely do it ASAP if necessary.

@Zoopet Tilly is no longer around.

I know that she has sadly passed but that is the name of the current thread.x

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