Messed up a condolences card

[amoreoamicizia]

I've messed up a condolences card for a friend whose mum has died. I got a good card in M&S but the second half of the message now seems wrong and potentially annoying if someone's feeling sensitive.

WWYD? Head back to M&S tomorrow and replace it, or rewrite a generic card today? It's already overdue, but the original card was nice.

Can you say what you actually wrote? It’s hard to advise without seeing the actual message.

Rewrite the whole thing on a square/rectangle of thick paper and stick it inside the card?

Not that overdue, today seems appropriate though.

I did write it out on my phone beforehand to be sure, it's just that after handwriting it I suddenly thought "f_ no" 😐

I don't think anyone here can determine what you should do without knowing what you have written.

Having lost both my parents, the worst thing a person can say is nothing at all, I don’t remember the picture on any of the cards I received, but I remember the words…get a card in the post

Just send something asap- no one cares if the card says "sympathy" or whatever on the front, they just care that you care enough to write to them.

I agree with @Jeezitneverends and @Morwenscapacioussleeves. I appreciated every card and message I received when my parents died. I didn't care whether it was a sympathy card or if the wording was a bit clumsy, the fact that people cared enough to send something was enough for me

It obviously depends what you’re written if you’d like to share?

But I appreciated every single card and letter I was sent after my mum died, I have no idea/recollection what the picture on the front was if that’s what’s worrying you - as long as it’s not completely random and it’s a new baby card or something 🤷‍♀️

After my dsis died, the bereavement card comment that stuck with my mum the longest read: “Sorry about X. That must have been horrid for you.”

It made her laugh, but she felt it was real.

I doubt that you wrote anything that will offend.

It's impossible for people to choose the best option without more information.

If she died within the last week it can probably wait for you to buy a new card tomorrow.

If the other card you have isn't specifically a sympathy card but is plain / definitely not insensitive e.g. a picture of the sea or a forest - fine.

If it's a card with a picture of a smiley dog playing, party balloons or friends drinking wine for example - Definitely don't send

Potentially what you wrote could be triggering. For example, 'they're in a better place now' when the person was young and it was sudden or they firmly don't believe in an afterlife. Or 'at least it was peaceful' especially if it wasn't.

I would write a message talking about how lovely the person who has passed was (if you knew them), how much you knew they meant to your friend and how you're there for them whenever and however they need. That's what was comforting to me when a parent passed and there's no risk of including anything that will trigger or offend.

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone. I've rewritten the generic card (a countryside scene) and feel better now. It's not so good a card but that's just the way it is. Something was wrong with the original and I had a bad feeling about it- it didn't sit right. As an aside, isn't handwriting difficult now we don't do it any more? There's several "blips" in my handwriting on both cards but I don't own Tippex any more and haven't in about a decade!

Just to explain a bit more, I have foreign heritage on one side and people from that country always tell me to be more emotional and warmer. At times like this sometimes I try and be "warm" like them but when it comes down to it I'm English and it often comes off as forced or awkward!

Well done for sending it amoreoamicizia!
so many don't or keep putting it off
I'm sure your friend will appreciate it.