Would you be hurt catching your dh watching porn in the middle of the night ?

[PleurePasLaBouchePleine]

It was a couple of night ago when it was really hot - it was really hard to sleep but I have managed in the end..woke up at 3 am needing a wee. Dh didn’t know yet I was awake…he went on his phone and I saw he was scrolling porn stuff.. I can’t help feeling hurt and grossed out. He can do what he wants in privacy, I’m not deluded but right next to me ? Would you feel the same ?

There must be more to this.

If you are both satisfied with the sex love you have together then watching a bit of porn isn't a problem.

What is it that actually upset you?

Are you feeling that you wanted to have sex and he didn't? Hurt he didn't wake you to ask for it?

Prefer he does it in private? You're married to him, go crazy and ....talk to him?

I’m satisfied and I told him how I felt when I saw him, it’s just weird.. he couldn’t sleep and he felt the need to watch porn ? That’s weird no ?

@cowboybootsonglassfloor you don't get to make that decision for the OP. If that's your boundary in your relationship then that's fine, but clearly, it's not ok for the OP and she shouldn't be made to feel like she's overreacting for feeling how she does!

OP I'd be divorcing my DH if I found him doing this. But, we've had talks and set boundaries in place so he knows how I feel about it. Have you talked with your DH about porn and how it makes you feel?

He felt the desire to watch porn, not necessarily the need, and I wouldn't say it is weird. Most men watch porn.
It's fine to not be comfortable with him watching it when you're present, and if you express that to him then he should respect it and keep things to when he is in private.

Yes it is weird, would make me think he's addicted.

As long as your relationship allows porn, I don’t see a problem.

quick, efficient, masturbation can help with insomnia. It’s different than sex, especially if it’s hot and the sex can just make you feel hotter. The goal isn’t connection, it’s a release of endorphins to help your body relax and go to sleep.

If he wanted sex and I said no I couldn’t be upset if he was watching porn.
If he reached straight for the porn YANBU.

Wouldn’t bother me. Better than the alternative of him waking me up at 3am.

It was 3 in the morning on a red hot night, I can also imagine the post if he had woke her asking for sex.

He reached straight for the porn and didn’t ask me

That depends on whether or not you have had conversations about porn and how you both feel about it.

Being 100% truthful, would you have been happy to have been woken at 3am when in your own words, it was hard to sleep but you managed in the end?

I couldn't care less as long as he wasn't bothering me

Not a massive fan of porn, the ethics and ideally it wouldn't be a thing.. but hey ho

DH went out the other night and I used my vibrator. Sometimes he wanks, we don't interrogate each other

Perfectly fine sex life 3/4 times a week which suits us rightly

I reckon he watches a lot of porn as he is away a lot with work and we have sex maybe once a week. We have older kids and a small house so not always easy.

You’ve ignored my question, I would assume I know the answer.

Ultimately you need to decide what your limits are and have a discussion with him like an adult.