Disappointing grandparents

[User017]

Both sets of grandparents have little interest in my son
They remember his birthday and will come over for a birthday party organised by me and partner and will ask in passing about him on the phone and the occasional visit for a couple of hours at (once a month at a push) at our house but nothing else beyond that.
Both sets only live 40 mins away
My son does have autism and a learning/intellectual disability but he is sociable and loving and myself or my partner are always with him as we know nether set could or want to look after him alone
The summer holidays have really brought it home how little they have to do with him and it’s made me so angry and tearful.
from reading about other people’s families on here and seeing grandparents everywhere I go enjoying time with their grandparents I feel let down and sad for my child.
Am I being overly sensitive or is this more normal than I think? Or is it because the grandparents don’t want to spend time with my son because of his disabilities?

It’s hard as we don’t know the situation, there’s a middle ground between the gps you hear about that tell children stories and push them on swings and those that say ‘you’ve ruined your life by having children!’ I always say I’m only in my 40s but am already more tired, have bad knees and a bad back and I can’t imagine in 10/15/20 years being an enthusiastic, full of energy granny even though I always assumed I would. Like I said I don’t know their situation, but you might just be reading into them not being able to visit or not being 100% present. Saying that I’d talk to them all, organise visits- ask them!

How much time did you spend with both sets of parents before having a child. In my experience after havibg children it tends to stay the same so if you didn’t spend much time with them before it doesn’t change.

When my kids were little, my parents were much the same - we lived much further away, and so we did have them to stay for a week or two a year and we often went up for a week. Rest of year, not much. I felt everyone missed out, but accepted it. As a grandparent myself now, I have been very hands on, but three of my kids live in the same town as me, and if we don't see each other every couple of days, we talk or message. We have group chats that we use all the time, and are all richer for it. But we all have our own lives, and we all choose to make family a priority. Our kids have mutual friends, and so they are much closer than I was to my brothers - we moved in very different circles. I think it you want one aspect of family life to change, you have to change some of the other interactions too.