Is late 50's too late to start a new life elsewhere?

[youngerself]

DH and I. Intending to move to a market town in the next year. He'll be 60 and I will be 58.

Daughter currently lives near the town but of course may move on - she's only mid 20's. I know the area well as we spend most weekends there.

No real friendship circle here - just 3 or 4 people that I may see monthly.

It's odd that despite living in a big city, there seem to be more community events in the smaller town.

Is it too late to move and make a new start?

I'm really just worried about being socially isolated as I get older.

Any positive stories of others relocating at similar age?

No I don’t think it’s too late at all!

We moved to the country six years ago in our fifties and honestly we’ve found it much easier to make friends and integrate. We have animals which always helps. Nowadays we come back to town for a bit of a rest 😀

Definitely not. I work in a market town with volunteers, many of whom socialise together. Lots are retired southerners who've moved north to release capital and others have moved to be able to provide grandparent support. Also many do U3A activities.

We moved to where we are at 53 and 59. It is very hard to make new friends but if you make the effort it's easier ( we don't really) I do really feel part of the community here though.

Not too late at all.

We are thinking of doing this at some point

I don't think it is. We are planning on it. Will be at least a 400 mile move.

There is nothing where we are that we will miss. Would go tomorrow if we could.

Definitely not. In fact older can be easier as you might have more time to get involved in the local community, to volunteer, chat and have small talk with neighbours, in local shops and cafes and on a dog walk.

More time than you might have had in younger years when you’re busier raising children and in the thick of busy careers, commuting etc.

I’ve relocated a few times. My golden rule is to say “yes” to every suggestion and invite you receive in year one. Then in year two you can start being more discerning. Important to do this early on before you lose momentum or get used to a quiet life with your husband. Enjoy!

Definitely not too late, I did something similar three years ago. The town where I live now has many more volunteering opportunities, social activities and groups than the place I lived before.

A lot depends on the effort you put in to finding new friends; volunteering, joining U3A, WI, Arts Society, sports and hobby clubs etc to get to know people. It sounds as if you have a good idea of what the town is like, is it somewhere you can see yourselves growing old? Because that’s the important thing, as you say, your daughter might move on. Will you have good access to GP, dental care, hospital if you need it, etc? Are there good transport links if you couldn’t drive any more?

I would definitely say go for it, I love where I live now and have no regrets. It won’t be any easier the longer you leave it.

Thank you all!

Yes I could see myself growing old there but most certainly not in the city I am in.

I'm looking at community and social groups. I already go to a gym there about 2/3 times a month and although I prefer weights, I plan to do classes. There's also evening classes I'd be interested in at local college.

I'd love to join a book club but I realise this isn't as easy as it sounds and many are well established and don't need or want new people.

DH sings and can play instruments which he plans to find somewhere he can do those.

To those who mention U3A, in the past on here it's been mentioned that it's people considerably older than 60's.

Yes GP's are good. I suppose if I couldn't drive I'd just have to fork out for taxi or similar transport. There's a small local hospital branch and larger hospitals by bus.

No absolutely not too late.
I’m unsure about the social part etc unless you join clubs / groups but it will still be nice to start afresh.

I’d like to just pick up and be a bit transient with where I live once my kids go. Go for it!

A recognised age and stage to move - BBC Escape to the Country etc.

Moved here alone at 57..... I'm out almost every night this week and I live in the middle of nowhere!

No of course not too old! We plan to take a year out travelling during our fifties and retire abroad as we have a house overseas. Moving to another town that sounds far more suited to you is just common sense IMO.

Sounds great! Enjoy 😊

No not too late! We moved from Croydon to our Kent village in 2010 when DH and I were 57 and 48 respectively. Funnily enough it took me more time to settle than DH. Both of us were still working in town so we travelled up every day until COVID when we worked at home when our local shops and supportive community were a godsend.

We both retired in 2022 which has given us more time. I do dance and Zumba classes in our village hall and we're both got involved in a group of volunteers who look after the hall. We've got a local bar where people know us (and where we go to find any local tradesmen!). As one of our friends affectionately says, DH would talk to a broom with a hat on, so he's forever saying hello to people when we go up the road. It's an easy 45 min train journey into London from our station which is at the end of our road so we go up regularly for theatre, football etc.

I'd definitely say go for it.

I know of 3 couples (friendship circle domino effect!) who moved across the country to a small market town in the last year and they're all thriving. I think the youngest person is 58 and the oldest 74! If it feels right then why not?!

The problem is that if everyone says ‘oh, U3A is full of over-sixties’ then that’s how it stays! All organisations need younger people to join them, you might find that they’re not all over 60 and that even those who are, are actually not as old as your picture them.

I was just suggesting that as an example, obviously you will follow things that suit your interests, but I wouldn’t write off people older than yourself if you are looking to make new friends.

Don't let perceptions put you off. I'm under 60 and joined the WI in the last year. I'm probably in the top 30% age wise and don't have any craft skills. It's a great mix of women over half of whom are still working. We've done wine tasting at a vineyard, murder mystery evening, there's a bookclub, craft group and a gardening arm, and they fundraise for local charities.

I bloody love be this. I'm the same age, and am going to do just this. My town is highly sought after and has every facility a family could wish for. Good schools. Fantastic beaches, countryside on the doorstep, a vibrant and beautiful city 10 miles away, and my own children are likely to have my first grandchild in the next few years. BUT, I feel it's my time now. Having been part of a family caring for a parent with a degenerative condition for years. I'm not risking my latter days waiting to retire at 67. I'm taking the 25% tax free from my pension post 55yrs, and then downsizing to a rural location before I need to move again to (and only if I need) assisted living to be nearer my kids. I have already made the decision that I shall never burden my children with what I've had to endure for the last decade.

me and my husband moved to a completely different area a number of years ago in our 40's, didnt know anyone. Best thing we did. I think you just have to make the effort to get out and about. I had dogs so that helped greatly

We moved to France, I was 53 and he was 56. 3 years ago.

We knew nobody.

Now I have more social life than in the UK.

He doesn't as he used to go to the football every home game but still flies or trains back every quarter to go to 2 home matches.

I’m in the U3a and am your age and most are older than me but what does it matter. People that bother to go along are people that are sociable and also some groups whilst purely social there are many that have learning opportunities such as learning Spanish. In my exercise class there are three of us in our fifties and then the rest are all ages right up to a sprightly 90 year old.

Thats an issue with being able to retire early in your fifties, most don’t because they can’t afford it, I have two friends who are mid fifties with kids that are still only 13 and 15.

I have a good mate I met through volunteering, he is 76 now and we meet every week for lunch.DS has joined us a couple of times and has him as a sort of adopted Grandad. A woman I volunteer with is 84, she is a laugh and has more life than many half her age.

Neighbours in early 80s just moved 300 miles away, after 30 years here.
Two friends in late 80s moved 90 miles away.
I'm early 60s and plan moving 300 miles away as soon as I am free to do so.

DM did it at 56... and 79

My grandmother moved, alone, to the opposite end of the country, a rural area where she knew no one, from the rest of the family, when she was 60.

She started a new hobby, which became a profession, made lots of friends and lived to 90.

She was quite isolated in her final years when she lost mobility due to a stroke, however, with elderly friends dying or being unable to visit. I think that can happen wherever you are, though.

My stepmother similarly moved aged 65 and made many friends. I agree that outside big cities it seems to be easier, more community.