Cried on my driving lesson

[Fedup369]

I'm totally embarrased! I've done 17 driving lessons so far and I'm doing ok generally but today it seemed as though from the second in the car I was useless. I was making lots of small silly mistakes. As we drove towards some traffic lights my chest felt so heavy and I knew I was going to start crying, embarrassed I tried to hide it, but my instructor noticed and asked if I wanted to pull over, I said no at first but then the flood gates really opened and I did pull over. I then sat there and wasted 10 minutes of lesson crying like an idiot, he was really nice and gave me the time to talk, and calm down before carrying on, I just feel stupid, I'm 30 and I can't drive, I feel like a failure and when I'm making mistakes it's just frustrating me. I don't know what really triggered todays issue and I just felt like I wanted to turn around and go home

Well, I’ve done it. Once I got out of the car and walked off.

Being 30 has nothing to do with it. You’re learning a new skill and that, for most people takes time.

Learning to drive is really stressful and we all have bad days. Don't sweat it, you won't be the first and you definitely won't be the last.

It took me ages to pass my test and I hated every second of learning to drive!

I went through multiple instructors over a few years. I was a nervous wreck every second of it and cried a lot!

I did pass eventually and I am a great driver 20 years later but my goodness, I feel for you.

Do not be embarrassed, just keep going, you got this!

You’re putting a great deal of pressure on yourself tying in learning to drive with being a failure. Hardly surprising you became overwhelmed. Give yourself a break and be kinder to yourself. I went to pieces in one of my sessions seeing an abusive ex while driving, forgot the most rudimentary things. Panic and anxiety can do that.

Honestly? A lot of people make mistakes driving every day and are on the roads. You only have to watch dash cam videos on youtube to see how often people mess up. We are human, hopefully people learn from it. Making mistakes does not make you a failure, most people don't have a qualified instructor in their car with them on every journey. I passed my driving test at 24, Dh was 17.

Re youtube it is an incredibly helpful place for driving lessons. Watch mock driving tests and the instructor talks through lane positions, what they should be looking out for etc. Ones off the top of my head (from when Ds learned to drive) Clearview, DGN and Conquer Driving. Also those dashcam videos so you can see where people make the most mistakes and you can avoid them, Ruby Dash Cam is good. It basically falls into bad emerge from a junction,/slip road roundabout lane discipline and over taking to name three.

I once went for the gear stick and grabbed my instructors knee by mistake and gave it a little jiggle. Now that's embarrassing!

I've been there. Never needed to drive as a young person because I lived in a massive city with amazing transport. Got to 30, got some kids and moved to the middle of nowhere and suddenly needed to drive. I failed my test three times. I felt terrible. It was costing so much money. But the more pressure I put on myself the worse it got. My legs would literally be in spasms in the car because I was so nervous. Switched driving instructors to a calm, serene, wise woman who plied me full of Calms and I passed in a better of weeks.

You can absolutely do this. Don't be hard on yourself.

Learning to drive is so hard, and I still remember some awful lessons!

My last lesson before my driving test ( that amazingly I did pass lol). I nearly drove through a red light, over a zebra crossing+ with someone crossing!! And hit a curb. Honestly I was a menace, my instructor stopped my lesson and he drove me home 😂😂😂 it was that bad.

Shit lessons happen,try not to give it to much head space xxx

On my first driving lesson I didn't get out of the very long layby! I panicked like mad. I was 30 too

Op I've cried in the car when things got very stressful. Recently my car broke down and I managed to almost get it off road into a service station but it halted before I got to a car space. A dude started aggressively honking his horn and I absolutely burst into tears
It was a super stressful situation and him honking his horn when my.power steering had stopped working was the last I needed.

I habe been driving 30 years.

The key here is you DID pull over and took your time to calm down. That is a GOOD driver. You got that it was a bit too much for you.

This is a skill to learn and you are. Being very hard on yourself. Allow yourself time to learn.
You will be great once you do.

I definitely cried during some lessons too, I hated feeling like I couldn't do it. But it just gets better every time even if it doesn't feel like it, learning a new skill is hard. Keep going!! It's worth it.

The only person I ever told to "F -off " in my whole life was my first driving instructor .
He was so horrible . He insulted me once again so I pulled in , took out the money , threw it at him , told him to" F-off " and walked away . I can still see his face , totally gobsmacked as I am usually calm and collected.
I got myself a new instructor , passed my test first time and have been driving all over the world accident free for 30 years .
Learning to drive is very stressful so don't give up .You will get there.

Learning to drive is hard and stressful, and I can't stress this enough, it's not linear. You might have a few good lessons, then a crap one, then a few more good ones, then feel like you're back at square one. If you're patient and kind with yourself, you will get there. It took me years, and several tests, but I've been driving for nearly 20 years now. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

Don’t beat yourself up about this. Some people need more lessons etc than others. It really doesn’t matter (except it costs more)! I was 32 when I passed my test on the 4th go and after 60 hours of lessons including an intensive driving course 🙈 I just found it really difficult. I’m not naturally coordinated. A particular highlight was running through a red light on my second driving test on a really busy junction and I just sat there and turned to the examiner and said “shall we go back?” And we did 🤣

I’ve been driving 11 years now and never had so much as a bump or an issue. So when you’re ready you’re ready and it will make sense, it just sort of clicked for me. Being able to drive is amazing and worth battling for.

You're going to be fine, sending big hugs though <3 it can be very upsetting and demoralising when you're having one of 'those' lessons. I also learnt later in life - I started when I was 27 and finally passed at 30, and it most definitely wasn't just the pandemic delaying the process, it was most definitely me and my anxiety and poor coordination skills! Many tears were shed. But seriously, don't listen to anyone - friend, partner, instructor, anyone - who tries to tell you that you've left driving too late and you're a failure/incompetent.

It's good that your instructor sounds empathic and understanding. My first instructor used to shout at me and literally start wailing if I passed too close to another car and told me to put on my 'big girl trousers' when I then panicked. I got a new female instructor shortly after failing my first test and she was a dream - passed first time with her! Also, driving an automatic has really eased my fears around driving. More expensive to buy and insure, but a real game changer.

Oh god been there. I cried in more than one test as well.

good news is I’m a confident, happy driver with a clean record almost 20 years later. You can do this!