At breaking point with the summer holidays

[Stressedoutmumof2]

I have two kids. DS who is nearly 3 and DD who turned 1 at Easter. I hate my life right now. I have turned into a stressed out, shouty mum who is on the verge of tears every day and I don’t honestly know how I’m going to survive the next 3 weeks before they go back to preschool.

All my usual toddler groups have finished, my mum friends have gone away for the summer, either abroad or visiting family and my own family are lovely but only want to meet for fun activities (planned and organised by me) for an hour or so and then leave when a tantrum starts or when things start to get a little tricky with the kids.

DH has his own business which is very busy atm so he’s not around a lot and I just feel completely exhausted and burnt out. My patience is at zero.

It’s a beautiful day and I just can’t even muster any enthusiasm to leave the house. The effort to make a pack lunch, sun cream the kids, find hats, socks, pack multiple clothes (for potty training) snacks, toys, wrangle the double pram out the door, take a bike plus helmet at the same time for it to be the same as it always is; fun for the kids but stressful for me trying to manage the baby who is just starting to walk and the 3 year old who is determined to find ways to be death defying and shatter my nerves in the process. Then to get home, everyone screaming, get them fed, try to put the baby down for a nap while the toddler shouts “mummy, mummy, MUMMY!” on repeat. I’m behind on all of the housework, I look a mess and I just want to be left alone. I know social media is a load of rubbish but I happened to glance at all these mums seemingly having the BEST time with their kids and I just wonder if there is actually something wrong with me.

There is nothing wrong with you!

I have the same age gap and I remember those days vividly! Absolutely relentless.

Mine are 7and 9 now and honestly it is sooooo much easier.

I get to sit and read, drink hot tea and generally get a lot more me time! They pretty much just get on with it now, days out are so much easier ... No massive bag full of just in cases .. no prams .. no nappies .. bliss. Most of the time 😅

It is exhausting but there is light at the end of the tunnel and it will come quicker than you realise.

I look back with rose tinted glasses now at my little angels and all the lovely days out we had 😂

You don't have to be enthusiastic about it, but you might as well just do some of it instead of just listing it. Packing a bag and making lunch isn't fun for you, but it's also not an unreasonable expectation of effort.

Preschool / school doesn't exist so parents only have to spend short periods of time interacting with and looking after their own kids.

Definitely nothing wrong with you. This is par for the course with such little ones. It does get better! Mine are 10 and 12 now and these summer holidays have been genuinely fun. Still knackering but good times and they know how to have down/time so we can leave each other alone and keep busy separately for periods of time. It's relentless and exhausting when there's no let up.

When I was really at the end of my patience and good humour, curling up with an Alfie book together on the sofa really helped. I'd start reading with gritted teeth and we'd all end with hugs and lifted spirits. Also, music and dancing was a guaranteed slump-breaker. Aim for little bits of joy during the day and don't even think about the 'making memories' crew - they post a few perfect photos from their little bit of joy and then have fairly similar days, I always thought!

Also, carpet picnics were good low-impact fun for them. They can be as messy as they like and it'll all get cleared up after. One foot in front of the other, don't think about the three weeks, just about this one day and what you need to get through - a nice cuppa/ice cream/ten minutes with a book? Make it happen for you as well as them!

Op i really feel for you. How about a indoor picnic using an old airer and some sheets?? Have you got a paddling pool they can play in??? If not put the TV/ film on, make yourself a cuppa and breathe x one day at a time x

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Can you afford a babysitter? When mine were that age I would employ a local teenager to come and play / help. It was still hard. But the only way through is with help I think if you can possibly afford it.

Totally normal. You just have to white knuckle it until September when things settle into their usual routine

It's a tricky age, but it will get better! Honestly, assuming you have a garden, why not just spend time at home, going out is a pita, and hugely overrated. Set up a sprinkler, a paddling pool, a sand pit. Let them be in the garden naked, easy for potty training. Sit in the garden with them and supervise. Put a blanket down and have "picky bits" picnic, make it into a game if teddy bear picnic with plastic plates and cups and water for pouring tea.

Good idea from a pp to get a local teen in for some respite. My DD21 would do this gladly, she can't get a job, but is always up for some babysitting/toddler playing.