All through my teens, 20s and up until now (35) gift giving for friend’s birthdays (never Christmas) has been quite a feature, either big group gifts or personal 1:1 gifts. For all their last birthdays I posted or gave most close friends a birthday gift, but this year have noticed a decided drop off in gifts to me for my recent birthday.
Eg one friend last year spent around £80 on my birthday gift and I put £100 towards her group birthday gift earlier this year, but for my birthday last month I received nothing from her even though I saw her a few weeks after my birthday. Similarly best friend from high school, every year we post each other gifts/flowers, for her birthday in March this year I sent her huge bunch of flowers, for my previous birthday she sent me nice active wear, this year I received nothing from her.
Some key points - no falling outs with anyone, we are all now 34-35 and lots having kids (bestie from high school had her first baby this year). I was also travelling on my birthday so didn’t have a birthday dinner or other event that would encourage gifts.
Is it just the unwritten rule now that once you have kids you no longer bother with gifts for friends? Or that you’ll only receive gifts if you have some sort of birthday event?
I don’t really mind the lack of gifts if this is just the way the world works (obviously slightly annoying to have recently spent hundreds of pounds and not even receive a card for my birthday but I guess someone has to be the last to do the giving) however hearing similar experiences of gifts just suddenly not being the done thing will help me see it as just how life works rather than anything personal to me!