As you know, chronic insomnia can play havoc with everything. Feel for you. I think active minds tend to have insomnia - men and women. It is better and worse at different times in life - and depends on what is going on in your life. Been studying it for years and not because I wanted to.
What works best for me is knowing how much I can put on each "plate" I am juggling each day. Kids, work, spouse, or whatever: they are all plates one juggles in life. My worst insomnia was when I had kids, going to college again, a spouse who was a bad fit, and having had surgery, and a new house. I never slept.
Prioritize sleep as number one whenever possible.
Prioritize plates and try to avoid/ignore/put on hold those plates that are not life threatening - and can wait til later.
Never eat or drink within 4 hours of bedtime (or after 6pm), depending on your age.
Do not drink alcohol to try to sleep and if you do want some wine, do it before 3pm. Alcohol before bed really helps relax but when it is 90% metabolized you wake up - about 2am, if you last drank at 7-8pm.
If you don't get any sleep, the next day, give yourself a break and try not to interact with people, or do it the least you must. Lay down or sit quietly in a chair whenever possible during the day and listen to relaxing music to focus on rather than worries on a "plate".
When my insomnia was at its worst I was able to "power through" and be awake for 3 days, after that my body took over and I would "crash" sleep for at least 5-7 hours, sometimes for 10-11 hrs. I also found that cyclobenzaprine (a muscle relaxer) is a help, and if I have been up 3 days with very little sleep it works to help me sleep on that fourth night. It is not addictive but does not work on a night after night basis, only for "rescue" sleep after 3-4 days without sleep due to life stressors (too much on your plate).
Many people can use magnesium to sleep, and it works now and then as it also relaxes muscles. Do NOT use benzos and as one gets older that is even more important not to use them. Benzos are highly addicting and one needs more and more to get same sleep effect and the sleep they give is not "true" sleep, and will end up making you worse; are a bad combo with alcohol. Ambien and Lunesta do not give true sleep and the rebound from both are a nightmare. Ambien and alcohol are very dangerous, too.
Another good drug you may want to try that is non addictive is hydroxyizine.
Some heart medications can be taken to help sleep. The doctors who worked with me over years finally discovered I was waking up due to high blood pressure spikes due to nightmares. Even if you don't have chronic BP issues but stress causes spikes in people with high anxiety levels. Some chronically stressed people run a higher level of adrenaline in a "normal" state, so when life stress gets critically high their adrenaline is extremely high causing BP spikes even sleeping, so BP meds help control those spikes.
Another de-stressing drug is Propanolol, a BP medication. It is fabulous for extreme high anxiety and can be taken as needed for high anxiety periods, which helps with sleep, too.
There are times sleep is disrupted and just can't be helped. Let everyone around you clearly KNOW you have not had sleep and will not deal with certain issues "right now" and "once I get some sleep, I will try to help".
My insomnia was so bad I ended up on disability as I could no longer work with confidence in what I was doing: managing 2lb babies in a prenatal ICU. It wasn't the work that was so stressful, but the divorce and four kids and my career, college, surgery I had on my plate all at once.
I did manage to get rid of the #1 stressor in my life: ex husband of 27 years. It was the best thing I needed to do. Life is good now - 10 years later.
Hang in there; have a cup of Valerian laced tea, listen to favorite music, give yourself a break. You are only human.