Unplanned pregnancy...how?

[Yellowleaffall]

Bear with me, I'm genuinely interested and am not trying to imply that I'm too clever to get pregnant accidentally. I've been very blessed with an incredibly regular cycle and ovulate around day 15, like clockwork. My husband is militant about using a condom and so our kids were conceived when we didn't use a condom and had unprotected sex around ovulation. It has been quite straightforward for us to both avoid and achieve a pregnancy, and I know that not everyone's circumstances are as cut and dry as ours.

I only know a handful of people in RL who admit to having had a surprise pregnancy, and their stories are 'I was on the pill (but didn't really take it)' or 'we used a condom (but just put it on at the end)'. Only one person I know admitted that she didn't use anything but thought the timing would be OK, but obviously she ovulated a bit sooner than she expected to.

I do read about contraception failure quite a lot on mumsnet and am never sure if it was perfect use or not. I also wonder that if you have unprotected sex around the middle of your cycle, is it really a shock when you get pregnant? I don't mean that to sound as cynical as it does, I'm genuinely curious. This definitely isn't to sound smug or rude; am honestly wondering. If you had a surprise pregnancy, why was it a surprise? We always use a condom and I always have a niggling feeling that I'll probably end up pregnant!

You have a regular cycle and ovulate like clockwork.

I think you've answered your own question.

I used to think sort of similar to you OP, but yet here I am sat with a 4 month old baby on my chest who was absolutely planned, waiting to take a pregnancy test next week because of a broken condom typically right in the middle of my fertile week last week🥲 have used them for years before ttc our daughter and never had any issue, both know how to put them on properly, and definitely weren’t taking any risks of just putting it on at the end because we already have a 4 month old baby… yet here I am anxiously waiting for my period or 2 lines on a test😂 if I don’t laugh I’ll cry!

I was on the combi pill. To my knowledge taking it perfectly (same time every day, didn't miss any, no medication which would interfere with it, no sickness etc). Worked for 20 years, until it didn't. The effectiveness rates are based on perfect usage, so there will be a certain percentage of people who get pregnant with perfect usage.

I fell pregnant on the mini pill twice. Both times with perfect use and I was older (38 and 42). Last time my husband was also 4 months post-vaesectomy!! Both sadly resulted in miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy.
When I asked the consultant why this kept happening (wondering if he'd believe me!) he said my hubby and I are likely "hyper-fertile."
Which makes sense I guess. We have one child together and I fell pregnant at 39, first month of trying. We couldn't afford any more children sadly.
In short, the pill wasn't enough for out hyper-fertility. Hence husband's vasectomy.

Ooh, forgot about condoms splitting, because it's never happened to us. How are you feeling about it? I hope you get the result that works out the best for you and your family!

Goodness, that is a surprise. I'm sorry for your losses though.

@Yellowleaffall Indeed it was, especially with my last and final pregnancy! Found out I was pregnant 10am NYE, wheeled down for emergency surgery to remove fallopian tube by 8pm 😢

I got pregnant 1) with an IUS in situ 2) the day before my period.

Before that I would have sworn I had a regular cycle and ovulated around day 14 like a normal person. Proof was there in my uterus though.

We always use a condom and I always have a niggling feeling that I'll probably end up pregnant

I think this will be a given, OP. Cycles vary subtly, condoms are not 100% reliable. So, yes, you might be military in 'planning' your family, as might others. But relying on ovulation timing and condoms is just daft if one definitely doesn't want to get pregnant!

I got pregnant on the regular pill, like the PP, I hadn't missed a dose or been ill. I got pregnant the first month of trying with both my other children.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend out of interest, are you and your husband the same blood group?

I have PCOS so very irregular periods,

I slept with DC's father once in around 6 months and fell pregnant. Could not believe it. Was a huge surprise.

Prior to that we had tried for 3 years for our first. Took 2 years to conceive our 2nd.

The 3rd was such a huge shock, we had split up at this point hence sleeping together once in 6 months. I wasnt even late for my period when I found out, I was just feeling so rubbish I took a pregnancy test to rule it out. I'll never forget how shocked I was when it came up positive 😅

I don't understand why you were sleeping together if you had split

@Ironicisntit did you have unprotected sex? You had 2 other children so you were clearly fertile and there was a chance you'd get pregnant if you didn't use contraception.

What has that got to do with the OP's post or my answer? What is it you want with that information aside to try and judge me? And I wouldnt call a one off sleeping together, sleeping together sounds like multiple

What point are you trying to make? I answered the OP's question, same as her friend, I assumed I would be okay ( for me it was because the other pregnancies were so hard to conceive ) I dont understand what point your trying to make when the OP has asked if anyone was surprised by a pregnancy when not using protection and I've answered that question

You could say the same about why it takes so long for someone to get pregnant, if you know when you’re fertile then why does it take more than one month? But it’s easy to understand in that case that there are thousands of variables in that situation. And for all the billions of men and women in the world with thousands of variables it can’t be that hard to imagine surely?!

@Mrsttcno1

definitely weren’t taking any risks

You took a risk by not getting the morning after pill.

Same op.

Had one broken condom but took MAP.

Have 2 kids. Both planned.

I’m not able to take the morning after pill due to health complications, otherwise I absolutely would have done this.

I read a MN thread a couple of months ago where a bunch of people said that having unprotected sex but not tracking fertility or actively trying would count, to them, as an unplanned pregnancy.

I've definitely looked at the word "unplanned" in a different light on here since then.