How do I say no without feeling guilty

[Shitmum2024]

I find it really hard to say no. It's something I have been trying to work on. But I always feel guilty. But in this case I feel very selfish.

Anyway in a couple of weeks my 3 youngest are going away for 5 nights. This means I have the house completely to myself. And I want to be on my own. I want to get stuff done , do my own thing . I want my own head space. I want to hear the silence of my house. I want to feel content on my own.

So i want to tell Dd on them days im not baby sitting, and I also don't want her to come over to my house. But I end up feeling guilty and backing of a bit . Like even as I type I'm thinking maybe I will baby sit just so she can do her driving lesson. Then I'm thinking no fuck it . No one does sweet FA for me. Why shouldn't I have the time alone . Then I argue with myself.

Just tell her what you've said here, and tell her to treat it as though you're on holiday and just enjoy the peace.

Yes say your on holiday those days and not available. You deserve your own time.

(Cough cough)
Oh dear.
You seem to have covid

Just say ill be busy when the kids are away and leave it at that, do you normally baby sit when she has her driving lesson?

If you normally babysit it's fine to say no but tell her so she can make arrangements.

She does not have anyone else that can baby sit . So she would have to skip the things she would normally do. It's not work or anything like that. So it's not essential. But I have always done it because it's good for her to have that time. But I need time to and I need to take it whilst I can.

Well just tell her you are busy the 5 days the kids are away if you don't want to do it, she can rearrange her driving lesson for the next week .

Yeah logically I get that I just feel bad doing it.

I would babysit so that she could do her driving, if it was me. Tell her that is all you are going to be doing for the week. Getting her licence will help her, after all.

I'd probably do the driving lesson go to her house so you can leave once she's back, then you have the rest of the time.

If no one does sweet FA for you then take your five days for sure

If it's not work then no, I'd tell her she can reschedule it,

Or if you're feeling generous say you'll babysit for an hour while she does her driving lesson but that's it.

But you've said no one does anything for you, so I'd grab this time for myself if I were you.

I will tell her tomorrow. I'm probably just over thinking