Toilet accidents at nearly 6, help/advice?

[toilettrainingissues]

DS will be 6 in October. Toilet trained around 3rd bday. Needed reminding to go so he wouldn't have leaks for a long time (still does?) and had a full wet accident maybe once a week for a long time. Baby sister arrived just before his 4th bday and we expected a regression but didn't happen. He never had poo accidents and was dry though the night from the very beginning.

However, when he started nursery he was having wee accidents, we thought it was just adjusting (and also being bullied by another boy) but they are still happening a year later. He also started having poo accidents, we realised he was lactose intolerant so removing dairy from his diet helped for a bit but now it's happening again, with no new dairy or other foods. He has to really run to the loo or else he poos his pants. Also will get absorbed in play and not want to stop to go to the toilet, and will wee in his pants. Or a bit of poo comes out and he's embarassed to tell us, so he just waits and says nothing.

Is this normal? I thought this should be over by now? He has the bladder of a camel, sleeps 12 hours at night and plays for an hour upon getting up before being forced to wee. Never ever has accidents at night. I thought he might be overstretching his bladder/getting an infection? Is this an issue for health visitors or GP? I still remind him to go, perhaps I need to let him sort it on his own? Or is a schedule better?

I'm so tired of washing all of the soiled pants, any advice please??

anyone?

Definitely worth seeing the GP. First thing, strange as it sounds, is to make absolutely completely 100% certain that he's not constipated. About 50% of children with chronic loose stools actually have overflow diarrhoea from constipation, and that number is higher where there are stooling accidents. And constipation also makes urinary accidents more likely. If that's excluded, then probably worth getting bloods done to exclude coeliac disease, as occasionally that can cause accidents. Consider whether he has any other sensory difficulties, or any social/communication issues, as this sort of thing is more common in neurodiverse children. Might also be worth thinking about whether he has lactose intolerance (a problem with milk sugar) or cows milk protein intolerance, if the latter can also be worth trying to cut out soya. You may also find it useful to have a look at the Eric website www.eric.org.uk as they have loads of stuff on continence issues in children.